Translated from a recently discovered printed artifact from the Wampanoag tribe, who occupied modern day Massachusetts circa 1620... I don';t know about you, but I';ve had enough of these lazy immigrants turning our country into their own welfare state. Wake up, Red People! They show up with 90 sometimes 100 in a single ship cabin. They make no effort to learn the language. They never bathe. They carry all kinds of diseases. And they rely on honest, bead-and-shell paying Wampanoag to take care of them! Just the other day I was trading some wampum with one of these shoefoots and he starts talking to me in English. English! I said, "Hey, you coat-wearing freak! Around here we speak Wampanoag. W-A-M-P-A-N-O-A-G!" Of course, he just stares at me like an idiot. Look, they';re not all bad. Some of my good friends are paleface. But we need to think about building a fence. A big ol'; mud fence. Otherwise, don';t come crying to me when we';re all eating with forks and speaking English in 10 yea
male, female - adult