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Look at you, Urban Road Warrior! You've got the extra-sweet, vintage white frame with the black saddle. Fixed gear? Natch. Who needs more than one gear? Besides, breaks are for cowards. Man, I'll bet when you park this thing, you wrap 'er up with a u-lock, a cable lock, a wheel lock, and a friggin' bear trap just in case. Yes, she's a mighty fine steed. What's that I see in the drink holder there? Is that what I think it is? Let's see... paper bag... tallboy can... Yup, that's a roadie if ever I've seen one! The paper bag isn't fooling anybody, just so you know. But don't worry, I won't tell. And besides, it's not illegal if you're riding a bike. What's that? It is illegal? Well, it shouldn't be. I text while I'm on my bike all the time, and I haven't been to the ER all year. Except that one time last week. (Good thing that store window was there to break my fall or that could've been bad.) By the way, can I have a sip of that PBR?