MUNI
New in town? Here are some tips and rules to ensure a safe and pleasant MUNI ride: 1. No radios are allowed on MUNI. Apparently that doesn';t apply to the linebacker-shaped gentleman who just sat next to you with his boombox. (We hope you like Too Short.) 2. Do not distract the driver while the bus is moving, particularly if he';s already on a phone call, in the middle of a fistfight, or both. 3. If you need to catch the bus but you';re not near a bus stop, don';t be afraid to "hail one down," like a cab. (Remember, San Francisco has free health insurance.) 4. Make the front seats available to seniors, persons with disabilities, and able-bodied assholes who pretend not to know any better.
male, female - adult
male, female - adult
$24 from Headline Shirts
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The problem with ranting against "Mission hipsters" is that everyone is one, and nobody admits to being one. We, on the other hand, freely admit guilt. But if you';re still grappling with whether you qualify, here';s a quick test: 1. Do you sometimes call Ritual Roasters "the office?" (Add 1 point.) 2. Does your schnoodle also have an ironic sweater? (Add 2 points.) 3. Do you know what a Bicycle Music Festival is? (Add 2 points.) 4. Do you keep a journal of your Muni travels? (Add 1 point.) Are you looking for a publisher? (Add 3 points.) 5. Do you refer to anything east of Valencia as "the deep Mission"? (Add 1 point.) 6. Did your last "political rally" concern the opening of an American Apparel store? (Add 1 point.) 7. Were you wearing an American Apparel product at the time? (Add 2 points.) 8. Do you know who Cesar Chavez was? (Subtract 2 points.) If you totaled 7 or more points, congrats! You';re officially part of the problem.male, female - adult$24
