Responding to rightwing attacks that he';s "unpatriotic," President Obama today unveiled his new presidential seal. The seal maintains the traditional eagle grasping an olive branch and arrows but adds a dramatic new twist: The eagle wears a "Captain America" motorcycle helmet just like the one Peter Fonda wore in Easy Rider. "You can keep your American flag lapel and lame pandering about ';real Americans,';" the President said. "This here is some next-level s**t. Oh, and check this out!" The President then pushed a button behind his podium and the eagle';s beak began moving to a recording of Steppenwolf';s "Born to Be Wild." "It';s kind of like one of those ';singing bass'; things they sell at Walmart," he said. This is the first time the seal has been modified since President Nixon temporarily changed the eagle to a cop flogging a hippie with a billyclub.
male, female - adult