Just own it, already. We can cover it up with technology, sophisticated language and chest wax, but the fact is, we';re only 2 percent genetically different from this guy. A few chromosomes this way, and suddenly we';re all climbing trees and dining on termites. All the global human dominance in the world can';t hide it. In the grand view, we';re all just tailless primates. And it makes perfect sense when you think about it. Just look at the similarities. Conflict and peacekeeping, medicinal plant usage, Robin Williams. The list goes on and on. So next time you get down on yourself, step back and get a little perspective. You';re a very highly functioning chimp! Now go put on that monkey suit and get back to work.

In seemingly tough times like these, I like to turn to the lessons of Mohandas Gandhi for some perspective. Gandhi, of course, faced harsh oppression -- the likes of which most of us will never know -- and helped free the Indian people from British rule through nonviolent resistance. Along the way, Gandhi left us a legacy of words to live by. For instance, it was Gandhi who said, "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." He also said that "peace is its own reward." And he once proclaimed, "I am prepared to die, but there is no cause for which I am prepared to kill." I believe it was also Gandhi who said, "Relax. Don';t do it. When you want to suck to it. Relax don';t do it. When you want to come." It was one of his more lurid quotations, but it really makes sense when you think about it. Wait, are we sure that was Gandhi? See, this is why we need a fact checker.

Imagine if our early ancestors had developed skateboards. That would';ve changed up the ol'; evolutionary timeline, eh? When you think about it, it';s not that far flung. Once you';ve invented the wheel, most of the heavy lifting is done. Then it';s a matter of slapping a piece of found wood on top. And maybe some well-placed sticks and stones to serve as the trucks, which could be held together by a strong sap or resin. Just imagine how history would have changed. Instead of hitting a golf ball on the Moon, Alan Shepard would have done a lunar kickflip. Jackie Robinson would have broken the color barrier at the X Games (which would be called The Normal Games). And Jesse Owens would have shattered Hitler';s Aryan myth by taking gold in Vert, Park, Street and Big Air. We';re not saying it would have been likely -- just not impossible.

No disrespect to George, Thomas, Teddy and Abe, but if we';re gonna truck out to the middle of South Dakota to see some faces in a big rock, they';d better be some faces we can relate to. Behold, Mount Rapmore! Now this is a national monument we can get down with -- Biggie, Pac, Jam Master Jay and Eazy E. If these guys don';t represent the American dream, we don';t know who does. When you think about it, there are some eery similarities between Eazy and Abe Lincoln. Both had a way with words. Both were known to wear hats and smoke. And it was actually Lincoln who originally wrote, "I don';t slang or bang / I just smoke motherf**kers like it ain';t no thang." (Fun fact: He later changed the passage to, "Four score and seven years ago...")

"When it comes to natural forces, ThinkGeek prefers magnetism. Why? It's quite simple. We can do stuff like levitate tops and totally pwn our friends. Our second favorite force would have to be Dominant Mind while playing Knights of the Old Republic in Evil mode. That brings us to our third favorite force, Gravity. Yep. And we prefer the Einsteinian model over the Newtonian, as should you. Thinking about building an anti-gravity device in the basement of the science building? Think again Mister Man! Make no attempts to defy gravity. You would be acting against the law. (see standard formula below!) Gravitational force = (G * m1 * m2) / (d2) Don't give the Gravity Police a reason to knock on your door; do us a favor and always obey gravity. De-molecularization isn't pretty. Blue dusk, 100% cotton t-shirt with orange / white design with a retro-looking gravity cop (blowing his super sci-fi whistle) and the phrase ""Obey Gravity, It's The law!"" Gravitational constant not included but imp

You know, we can never find the first aid kit around the ThinkGeek offices when we need it. And when you think about it, that and a good fire extinguisher are pretty much the two requirements in an office where you fabricate flying R/C objects, solder assorted circuits, and evaluate various types of knives. Okay. First aid kit, fire extinguisher, and a lot of PowerSquids. But we digress. First aid. Hard to locate when you need it. If we each wore a medkit on our backs, we'd never have trouble finding bandaids and burn cream. Problem solved. Medkit printed in red and white on the back of a black, 100% cotton t-shirt..

You know, we can never find the first aid kit around the ThinkGeek offices when we need it. And when you think about it, that and a good fire extinguisher are pretty much the two requirements in an office where you fabricate flying R/C objects, solder assorted circuits, and evaluate various types of knives. Okay. First aid kit, fire extinguisher, and a lot of PowerSquids. But we digress. First aid. Hard to locate when you need it. If we each wore a medkit on our backs, we'd never have trouble finding bandaids and burn cream. Problem solved. Medkit printed in red and white on the back of a black, babydoll (fitted) t-shirt..

"The statement on this shirt is great. It's not just a reference to one of our favorite pop culture phenomena, because ... think about it. You probably could kill people with your brain. Have a psionic character in an RPG? Ding. Know how to mix acids and bases? Ding. Use dangerous skills learned on MythBusters for fun and profit? Ding. There are so many opportunities to use your mind as a dangerous weapon we're surprised you don't have to have it registered. The best part? When you're wearing a shirt with this sort of sentiment people aren't likely to stop you and ask you to clarify. ""Also, I can kill you with my brain."" in white ink on a black babydoll (fitted) t-shirt.".

Evil 'Clown Hate' Circus T-Shirt Now you've done it... I don't think you realize that clowns have managed to hear through the grapevine that you hate them!! Well, what did you think was gonna happen when the word hit the streets... HUH??? You were walking around wearing it on your t shirt... dumbass! Yeah, that's right buddy... you got a war on your hands... a CLOWN WAR!! And you're the target punk, they're coming for you... a whole army of killer clowns, and these one ain't from outer space buddy! Flesh and bone, coming to open a peanut-can-filled-with-a-popout-snake on your ass... man, I wouldn't wanna be you right now. Just imagine the streets filled with insane clown posse-like evil laughing clowns, hatchets and everything! Oh jeez... I'm wettin' my pants just thinking about it, you better do something... .quick!! Man, I think you're best bet is to buy this shirt and spread the anti-word... maybe you can tune people into your cause and build your own army, the clown rebels. I just

This funny wedding shirt is perfect for Bachelorette parties when you need to keep an eye on the Bride!  Wedding planning is tough, all you think about it Eating, Sleeping, and Putting the Ring on the finger for the final time!

WOOKIE COOKIES! Yes! You knew you wanted this fantastic 100% cotton Star Wars Wookie Cookies Juniors T-Shirt the moment you saw it. You felt an immediate compulsion to indulge in said Wookie Cookies. Wookies would be the perfect guy wouldn't he ladies? I mean think about it. He's a giant teddy bear humanoid that is soft and furry is barely comprehensible and owes you a 'Wookie Life Debt'. Hey when I'm right I'm right! This isn't about the latest Bachelor TV show but the great Star Wars Wookie Cookies Juniors T-Shirt! It is for the ladies and features some lovely cookies directly from Endor even though Wookies don't come from Endor. WOOKIE COOKIES - Fat Free Gluten Free and made with free-range Ewoks.

Frankenstein is about to go tear up some waves broseph! He can totally catch that puppy and ride it radical. Him and all of his best buds go out to the Golden Coast all of the time. It is the only time Frankenstein ever feels free is when he's hightailing it through some tubular waves man. Bet you thought he was some kind of soulless monster didn't you? For shame! He is a bit of a shiftless lay-about but his intentions are good! You know how hard it is to be sponsored as a professional surfer specially when one is made from different people? Yeah good luck getting a proper blood test or finger prints. Now that I think about it Frankenstein should have probably went the organized crime route. Maybe in another life! This groovy 100% cotton t-shirt features our misunderstood hero after a real long night of drinking and partying. Just look at the poor fellow...guess that isn't his good side! Do I smell granola and fruit snacks?

Black Adam is just really misunderstood. He was the first champion of Shazam and after meeting this devil of a woman decides that it would be best if he would rule Egypt. Women can get men to do whatever they want specially if the guy thinks it is in the best interest. Hey and who wouldn't want to rule a country with one's girlfriend when you have magic powers? Now that I think about it that plan sounds mighty fine. We can be happy for all of eternity and we can bring peace to all of our inhabitants with our iron resolve! See how easy that was? I would have ended up being turned to dust and buried too for 2000 years and I was just trying to do what was best! Ugh love is complicated but this great 90% cotton 10% polyester Black Adam Symbol Hoodie isn't! Well it sorta is but just order a 'chocolate egg cream'. That will make everything work out!

How many times have you wished you had an "I';d Rather Be Sleeping" t-shirt? It';s the perfect comic relief for any occasion. Think about it. How hilarious would it have been if Richard Nixon had worn this shirt during his "I';m Not a Crook" speech? People would have been like, "Wait, why are we upset with this guy again?" Or what if Marion Barry had been wearing one when he was caught with crack in his hotel room? No one would have remembered his infamous "B-tch set me up!" line -- that';s for sure. All they would';ve remembered was his amazing sense of humor! Well, ok, maybe it';s not the perfect shirt for any occasion. For instance, you probably wouldn';t want to see an airline pilot wearing it while boarding the plane. And you certainly wouldn';t want an EMT responding to an emergency call wearing one either. And it would have looked pretty weird if Martin Luther King had been wearing it during his historic "I Have A Dream" speech. Matter of fact, that would have been highly inappr

Hey, kid! Come here for a sec. I';ve got a trick I wanna show you. What';s the matter? You don';t like the funny man? What do you mean, you don';t like clowns?! Let me tell you something: As sure as my breath smells like Early Times and vomit, EVERYBODY LOVES CLOWNS! Clowns are funny! Seriously, all the other kids think it';s hilarious when they see a gigantic, albino-esque freak with blood-red hair and feet as big as pontoons. See how many different colors there are in my jacket kind of like the Lucky Charms guy ejaculated on me? That';s funny! Or how about the way all this court-jester makeup and my disturbing lack of eyebrows make me look like Jeffrey Dahmer';s worst nightmare? Funny! Wait, come back! I haven';t even shown you what I can do with a balloon!

"For one generation, the question was ""Where were you when Kennedy was shot?"" All our customers remember the moment they found out about 9/11. But for a 10-15 year window of Americans in their 30s and 40s, the defining tragedy of our generation was the Challenger disaster. We know exactly what we were doing when we heard about it. We weren't around (or aware enough) to have been shaped by the moon landing or Apollo 13, and Hubble's combination of unmanned-ness plus its rocky start got it mentally written off. For this group of people, the Space Shuttle is synonymous with the U.S. space program. So the retirement of NASA's Space Shuttle Program is bittersweet for us. Okay. Honestly? There's nothing sweet about it. It's just bitter. If you're in the room with us when we watch the final launch, that's totally allergies. Or dust. Or um... eye spouts. It's a meteorological phenomenon. A dejected astronaut tugs a small Space Shuttle behind him on a white, 100% cotton t-shirt.".

Of course you don't *actually* have to be a genius to wear this shirt. Little Johnny could have the IQ of a grapefruit and still have enough neurons to purchase this fine garment. Then, when Johnny's mom puts on the shirt for him, the world will come to think of him in a different light. Sure little Johnny might think an asymptote is a swear word, but, hey, read the shirt, he's with genius - so maybe it is. We might even go so far as to suggest wearing this shirt will make you smarter. Think about it. Just wearing this shirt may very well change the perception about your genius, and, in this day and age, frequently perceptions are more powerful than reality. See Y2K and the PSP for some recent examples. So, in a way, this shirt can actually change how smart you are by changing how smart other people, whether dumb or smart, think you are. Sheer genius! You can't lose! 100% cotton heavyweight black t-shirt with the phrase 'I'm with genius' written on it front and center with an arrow poi

"When it comes to natural forces, ThinkGeek prefers magnetism. Why? It's quite simple. We can do stuff like levitate tops and totally pwn our friends. Our second favorite force would have to be Dominant Mind while playing Knights of the Old Republic in Evil mode. That brings us to our third favorite force, Gravity. Yep. And we prefer the Einsteinian model over the Newtonian, as should you. Thinking about building an anti-gravity device in the basement of the science building? Think again Mister Man! Make no attempts to defy gravity. You would be acting against the law. (see standard formula below!) Gravitational force = (G * m1 * m2) / (d2) You may still be underage, but don't give the Gravity Police a reason to knock on your door; do us a favor and always obey gravity. De-molecularization isn't pretty. 100% cotton, pre-shrunk, navy t-shirt with orange / white design with a retro-looking gravity cop (blowing his super sci-fi whistle) and the phrase ""Obey Gravity, It's The law!"" Gravi

You know what the greatest thing about being a Green Lantern is? You get to see the entire galaxyand everybody loves the Green Lanterns! Well don't bother going to Qward those guys are total party poopers. Stay away from the Anti-Matter universe too I don't think they care much for people in the employ of the Guardians. I don't know what their problem is but they are always looking for a fight! I hear Odym is nice this time of year or at least I hope it is. Okaara is kind of foreboding though everything is so bloody expensive. Oh and do mind the Vega system. There are certain rules you know? When you are finally done cruising around the galaxy you could always pick up this fine 100% cotton t-shirt at the souvenir shop! Being an intergalactic police officer has its perks.

Made from 100% Cotton this black t-shirt features an image of Catwoman rendered by artist Adam Hughes perched atop what may very well be a chimney or ...pedestal I suppose.... back-lit by the soft purple hues of a Gotham twilight...thinking about how many monkey flips it should take to make you lose the squeak-toy! HAH! Anyways Adam Hughes can draw the ladies that's for dang sure. And Catwoman. Yeah I have to say my masculinity feel a bit threatened...when I look at myself wearing this t-shirt. HAH! Threatened but never too squeamish to adorn myself with a pretty picture!

When you step out on to the street what are you thinking? How are others perceiving my style? What does it convey about myself. Sometimes it is difficult to ensure your message is clear. But this does not happen to you. Everyone knows about your style. You are always rocking Volcom. You know that the newest styles from Volcom like the Volcom Blur Script Zip Hoodie Ice are sure to catch you're the eye of everyone. Key Features of The Volcom Blur Script Women's Zip Hoodie: Shell: 80% Cotton / 20% Polyester Brushed Fleece / 255gm Hood Liner: 100% Cotton Jersey Peached Fleece Hooded Zip Up with Contrast Jersey Lined Hood Detailed with 4 Color Process Printed Applique at Chest Clamp Label at Sleeve Cuff and Stone Zipper Pull

Whether it's just to sow your support with the logo or you just love stripes because you think they make you look like a twig, the Foursquare Heather Stripe Hoodie is sure to be a hit this season. Slim fit and made out of 80% cotton and 20% polyester this hoodie is sure to keep your upper extremities looking good. Have a girl named Heather? Then this hoodie is perfect for you. When listening to your sounds stuffed into the hidden pocket and talking about how soft and supple Heather is she'll just smile. Key Features of the Foursquare Heather Stripe Full Zip Hoodie: 80% cotton 20% polyesterSlim fitHeather fabrics with printed stripesChest felt applique polar bear logoHidden mp3 pocket 100% cotton

"With a whole world of logo tees out there, it takes something unique to break through the clutter. Particularly when you're talking about a black tee. This Unsecurity tee does a fantastic job of just that, with a big, stacked grunge-painted logo in sand, surrounded by a red digital pattern. If you take a close look, the spots where that blood coloring breaks up, lets through the background black in shapes that mimic a 1980s wood grain print. Whatever you think the design resembles, the impact and style are undeniable. So is the fact that the longer you stare, the more youre going to want it. Solid black body. Tagless inside neck. Blank, unmarked back. Logo loop at front hem left. Regular fit tee (classic). 19.5"" shoulder, 29"" length. Medium shown and measured."

"On The Byas does what they do best in this series of Training tees: play with stripes. This newest spin-off of their tri-divided body design bands the two colors on the top third of the tee in stripes matching the lower body. That lower third is striped half as frequently, in the color of the middle band on the shirt. Its confusing when you try to put it into words...but the outcome is a tee with three styles that all match strangely well. We suggest you dont think about why it looks so good...we just did, and it wasnt very fun. Just toss one on, and enjoy looking good. Striping on both sides. Slim ribbed collar. Tagless inside neck. Regular fit tee (classic). 18"" shoulder, 29.5"" length. Medium shown and measured."