Konichiwa! Aperture Laboratories Japanese Division has now opened! based upon our red rising sun, our logo is super! so get your super happy awesome cool super t-shirt today to support this great new division of aperture science research! japan, japanese, division, logo, text, rising, sun, aperture science, aperture laboratories, lab, labs, research, laboratory, aperture, science, laboratories, wheatley, portal, portal 2, 2, part, space, rick, fact, core, sphere, robot, foreign, offshore, asian, asia, kanji, test, subject, symbol

Portal 2 - Women's Aperture 1980s logo, black shirt

Portal 2 - Women's Aperture 1940's babydoll t-shirt, silver.

Aperture 1970's logo t-shirt, black.

Aperture Laboratories motto: There's a hole in the sky through which things can fly.

Officially-licensed Portal 2 gear! This stylish and highly-functional tank top is perfect for all your enrichment center and test-taking activities. It allows maximum mobility while still providing ample testing surface area. Plus, it's perfect under your free, asbestos-lined promotional t-shirt. However, you're on your own for obtaining the orange jumpsuit. You know it's a crime to destroy expensive testing equipment. We're just saying. Aperture logo printed in black on a white, 100% cotton, baby rib tank top. Also, do not get it or you covered in the repulsion gel. Note: Please reference the table below to choose your size. Note that these are intended to be your measurements. The shirt itself is smaller and stretches to fit these dimensions. S M L XL Chest 31 in. 33 in. 37 in. 41 in. Waist 26 in. 28 in. 32 in. 34 in..

Officially-licensed Portal 2 gear! Aperture Laboratories will conduct a groundbreaking for its Enrichment Center this upcoming Sunday. The public is invited to attend the 10 a.m. ceremony. Plans are for the cutting-edge center to include test chambers, offices, and a commercial kitchen. In addition, Aperture CEO Cave Johnson will be in attendance to talk with the public about Aperture Laboratories' new, exciting tripartate strategy: the Heimlich Counter-Maneuver, the Take-A-Wish Foundation, and the 'Portal' project, for which the Enrichment Center is being created. Recruiters will be also on site to sign up any citizens who would like to be test subjects for these new, exciting technologies. It is a source of great satisfaction to Aperture that it is poised to make a contribution of this caliber to humanity. Note: Aperture CEO Cave Johnson regrets he will be unable to attend the festivities. 1970s-style Aperture logo on a black, 100% cotton t-shirt. Note that this shirt is softer and s

Officially-licensed Portal 2 gear! Here at Aperture Laboratories, we know that protecting what you love is a high priority for you. We've seen your house. You've got a lot of nice stuff. That's why you need the latest in home security systems, our Sentry Turret. Each comes armed with dual machine guns, achieving pinpoint precise targeting with a visible laser beam. Our patented Shell Redistribution Chamber allows us to pack more bullets in for that much more defensive capabilities. This isn't an entire weekend project either. It ships with an easy mounting system.* Designer chassis colors available upon request. Sentry Turrets: we box em up and ship them straight to your doorstep so you can protect the things that matter most. Turret schematic on a camel, 100% cotton t-shirt. Note that this shirt is softer and slightly more fitted than our normal shirts. * Warning: Standing near turret may result in accidental empathy suppression..

Lemon Grenade T-Shirt Cave Johnson’s Lemon Grenade T-Shirt. Made from 100% cotton and combustible lemons by the pros at Aperture Science. "When life gives you lemons, burn life's house down."  – Cave Johnson.

The Cake is a lie! Perfect shirt for all your portal lovin’ aperture laboratories test subjects. portal, portal 2, aperture, aperture laboratories, half life, valve, steam, doodlemarks, funny, video game

He’s out there, orbiting our moon right now, leaving a pixelated rainbow in his wake, created from the sheer joy of being in spaaaaaaaaaaaacccceee! (Note: this is an altered version of my original version , which sadly upset too many people with it’s vague similarity to certain pixelated rainbows/stars… my sincerest apologies, this version no longer has those upsetting similarities, oh and my design has been ripped off by a so called professional site, won’t mention which site, not worth it, suffice to say their version looks terrible, a 5 min amateur job at best. moon, lunar, pixel, pixels, space core, space, spaaaace, core, sphere, robot, eye, yellow, rick, fact, portal, portal 2, aperture, science, laboratories, wheatley, orbit, orbiting, glados, rainbow, nyan cat, nyan, kitty, feline, pop tart, flying, trail, parody, funny, vector, geek, meme, pop culture, internet, net, web, revolution gfx, cool, stars, star, behind, cat, cats

“When life gives you lemons? Don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?! Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!” -Cave Johnson, founder and CEO of Aperture Science portal, gaming, video games, valve, lemons

Oh, hey, hi pretty lady. My name’s Rick, I don’t want to scare you, but, I’m an Adventure Sphere. Designed for danger. So, why don’t you go ahead and have yourself a little lady break, and I’ll just take it from here. rick, adventure, sphere, pretty, lady, core, personality, wheatley, fact, funny, portal, portal 2, valve, aperture, science, laboratories, labs, indiana jones, parody, hat, whip, cord, leather, nerd, geek, cool, game, gamer, gaming, indie, indy, film, movie, pop culture, cross over, mix, mash, robot, glados, 2, sequel, pc, mac, xbox, ps3, microsoft, sony, vector, danger

GlaDOS’s delicious words as she plummets to the bottom of the Aperture Science facility strapped to (and powered by) a potato. portal, glados, aperture science, chell, fall, potato, quote

Officially-licensed Portal gear! We've provided one end of this portal. The other end is up to you. Stuck in an endless meeting? Time to break out your handy dandy Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device and WOMPF yourself a way out. Elementary school concert? WOMPF. DMV? WOMPF. The possibilities are endless. This light grey full-zip hoodie is 100% cotton. It has two front pockets and ribbed cuffs and bottom. The zipper pull is a silver-colored 2D Companion Cube. We recommend that you turn the hoodie inside out before washing in cold water. Tumble dry low. Be forewarned: this will shrink if you wash it in warm water or dry it on hot. If you anticipate accidentally doing that, you may want to order a size up. Or if you plan on eating a lot of cake. Note: Please reference the table below to choose your size. S M L XL 2X 3X Chest 44 in. 46 in. 48 in. 50 in. 52 in. 54 in. Sleeve Length 24 in. 24 1/2 in. 25 in. 25 1/2 in. 26 in. 26 1/2 in..

Officially-licensed Portal 2 gear! Thank you for your interest in working with Wheatley Laboratories. We are now hiring for the following positions: Maintenance Engineers (for fixing up the facility) Tour Guides Primate Care Technicians Support-Services Coordinators for Monitors for the Homeless, our community outreach division In addition, an exciting position has unexpectedly opened up: assistant to the guy in charge of the neurotoxin release button. All applicants for this particular position must have previous experience resolving button-based disputes. U.S. accent preferred. Wheatley Laboratories (with Aperture faintly visible in the background) printed in off-white glow-in-the-dark ink on a black, 100% cotton t-shirt. Note that this shirt is softer and slightly more fitted than our normal shirts..

"Welcome, . Thank you for participating in this Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment activity. As you know, science is very important, and we're appreciative of your dedication of yourself up to and including possible permanent disabilities, such as death. To avoid permanent disabilities, be sure to ¶œ†⇔∼¬ ^H . State and local statutory regulations prohibit us from revealing the entire nature of the experiment you are participating in today, but be informed that it may involve physics, psychology, thermodynamics, pharmacology, and non-Euclidean geometry. And cake. For the party. At the end. When you're done. Sometimes cake is my favorite part of science. When asking your children if they would like to attend the Aperture Science Bring Your Daughter to Work Day, remind them that science = cake. The Vital Apparatus Vent will deliver a black babydoll (fitted) ""Look at me still talking when there's Science to do"" t-shirt in three, two, one....".

"Welcome, . Thank you for participating in this Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment activity. As you know, science is very important, and we're appreciative of your dedication of yourself up to and including possible permanent disabilities, such as death. To avoid permanent disabilities, be sure to ¶œ†⇔∼¬ ^H . State and local statutory regulations prohibit us from revealing the entire nature of the experiment you are participating in today, but be informed that it may involve physics, psychology, thermodynamics, pharmacology, and non-Euclidean geometry. And cake. For the party. At the end. When you're done. Sometimes cake is my favorite part of science. When asking your children if they would like to attend the Aperture Science Bring Your Daughter to Work Day, remind them that science = cake. The Vital Apparatus Vent will deliver a black, 100% cotton ""Look at me still talking when there's Science to do"" t-shirt in three, two, one....".

Officially-licensed Portal gear! Emergency eye wash stations are complicated. You have to make sure you have a plumbed water supply within 55 feet of wherever you think your scientists might get into trouble. You have to make sure the water temperature is controlled so that there's not a danger of scalding eyes. You have to remember to flush the system weekly to get out any sediment or corrosion. Finally, you have to make sure you have the right signage and train all the employees in how to use the equipment in case of emergency. It's all outlined in the multiple pages of the ANSI Z358.1-2009 Standards. But that's really complicated. You know what's easier? Not installing eye wash stations. After all, you don't have to have them if your employees don't have eyes left after their little mishap! This is why Aperture never provides safety goggles. As long as you follow directions and look directly into the implosion, everything should be just fine. Sign from Portal 2 (IN CASE OF IMPLOSION