Teenormous T-shirts

All of us under its spell, We know that it's probably magic science... ThinkGeek Music is proud to present our most complete collection of music ever. (Also our first.) Available on two, double-length cassettes or LPs, each album brings you some of the greatest songs, edited to be more literally accurate from a scientific perspective. Start your collection today with such classic hits as: Debby Boone's "You Provide Electromagnetic Radiation of a Wavelength Visible to the Human Eye for My Life" Vangelis's "Chariots of a Persistent Chemical Reaction which Combusts to Exothermically Release Heat and Light" Toni Braxton's "Un-Break My Chambered Muscular Organ Which Maintains Vertebrate Circulation" Only available in this special television offer. Operators are standing by! Okay. Not really. It's a shirt. Specifically, this is a black babydoll (fitted) t-shirt which reads, in successive rainbow colors in the order with which we are all accustomed (well, most of us... sorry, colorblin

Catch you on the flipside. We're totally going to show our age by doing this in this format, but here goes. (What? You already know we played Pong.) Clues given by celebrity partner Betty White, naturally: "Hmm." "Burgers." "Tiddly-Winks." "A coin." "Your lid." "Angry Birds." Things you flip! Is it Things You Flip?!? *cue audience applause and Pyramid theme music* What do you win? Why this looooovely Angry Birds shirt, sure to make you the envy of your friends and neighbors. This black, 100% cotton t-shirt features everybody's favorite, the red bird. And by "win" we mean you get to buy it. Cause we ain't giving it away. We got apps to pay for.

The Tenth Character Sure, to some it might be a flying piece of go se, but to a handful of folks it's home. And sure, the Series 4 is out, but who needs it? You wait until the 4 comes out, that's when you get a great deal on the Series 3. None of that depreciation when you fly it off the lot. What's the 4 got anyhow? Twice the space for crew? If you ain't using all the berths in a 3, you don't need that. A hydroponics garden? Oooh. Fancy. We get our strawberries by other means, pal. And twice the range? If you need twice the range, you ain't arranging your smuggling proper-like. That's all I gotta say about that. Serenity specs in white on a black, babydoll (fitted) shirt.

What's it all about? This is one of our first abstract shirt designs at ThinkGeek. You see them all the time at Threadless, but our customers are generally more concrete people. We thought we'd try this, though. You got some pillars, tower-things... looks kind of like a city. You got a labyrinth in the middle. It's all kind of dreamy. We'll admit that we really dug this design from its *cough* inception, but y'all will have to tell us if it works for you. Black, white, and grey print on a charcoal grey 100% cotton t-shirt.

Fun with Chemistry: a Ferrous Wheel Right. If you're checking out this shirt, you probably like corny chemistry jokes, so here's another for you: Two atoms walk into a bar. One atom stops and says to the other, "I think I just lost an electron." The second atom asks "Are you sure?" The first atom replies, "I'm positive!" *rimshot* A ring of ferrous ions (Fe+2) is printed in white on this raspberry, babydoll (fitted) shirt. Note that the color of this shirt is more pink than the unisex version.

Let's do this! You may already be aware that we hate going to events that require nametags. We don't like encouraging strangers to talk to us. Plus, we always forget to take the damn thing off when we walk out of whatever it was that required the nametag, so we're headed home, stopping by the grocery store, accidentally encouraging the produce manager to address us by name. Which is just creepy. We dig this nametag, though. You wear it to some corporate event you know is going to require nametags, and you might get away an hour or two before somebody notices. Okay. Maybe 15 minutes. But there's the possibility that they'll find it funny enough that they'll let you go without. Don't work at that kind of place, huh? Well, at least let out your warcry before you slap the real nametag on over this one. White 100% cotton shirt with black and red "Hello my name is..." sticker over the chest, with "Leerooooooooooy Jenkins" on the tag (mostly) and the utterance "(At least I have chicken

"No Plus No Equals No" - TMBG, "No!" "No Plus No Equals No" - TMBG, "No!" We offer this shirt of ultimate disambiguation for your confused friends and colleagues. It's truly versatile. Works in a wide variety of situations. While you're there, I was wondering if you'd get me...? No. Could do me a favor and fix my comp...? No. Dear Sir/Madam, I am sorry I have to contact you in this manner. I am the son of the former President of.... No. See what we mean? You don't even have to respond. Your shirt does it for you. So many opportunities for "No." So little time. "No." printed in white across the chest of a black babydoll (fitted) shirt. It's like the adult version of Milo Oblong's shirt. Slightly more subtle, but no less true.

Crank your gas chromatograph to 11! Remember when you rocked? Yeah, I'm talking to you. Back in the day when music was so loud it made the fillings in your teeth rattle out? (Yeah! Those dang cheap fillings made from silver and mercury (symbols Ag and Hg (heh, didn't you always think hydrargyrum was a funny sounding word for mercury (oh! and did you know you can actually force the noble gases to bond with mercury by utilizing an electric discharge...)))) wait, when did you become a chemistry geek? Proclaim your love for your favorite portion of the periodic table of elements with this masterpiece of a t-shirt. Black babydoll (fitted) tee features a scoop neck (as opposed to a high crew neck) with white and red depictions of 11 heavy metals from copper to bismuth doodled in the style of a 16-year-old metalhead. You do, indeed, rock.

Continuation of the Species This is a shirt in celebration of GeekMom, where being a geek and being a parent come together in a gravity well so strong not even light can escape. GeekMom is all about parenting in the digital age: geek parents raising offspring in their own geeky image. And here at ThinkGeek we're all in favor of more geeks. GeekMom logo on the front with the GeekMom URL on the back of a black 100% cotton ladies' shirt. Looser cut than a babydoll tee, this is considered a "classic cut". It's styled for women, but is not tight or fitted. This shirt fits like Huge Tracts of Land. Note: Please reference the table below to choose your size. S M L XL XXL Chest 37 in. 39 in. 42 in. 45 1/2 in. 49 1/2 in. Length 24 1/2 in. 25 in. 25 3/4 in. 26 1/2 in. 27 in.

"Oh, my ears and whiskers, how late it's getting!" Geeks tend to be late for things. Our theory is that it's because we are some of the few who truly comprehend the implications of the relativity of space and time. That, plus, when we're not properly caffeinated, naps are very tempting. So we understand the poor White Rabbit from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland having a bit of a freak out. When we're late to events, we end up with extra action items or get stuck with the Diet Coke that nobody ordered. The White Rabbit, however, is late for something far more important than a project status meeting or lunch. So it's okay if he figuratively loses his head a bit in this situation; it's better than the alternative - literally losing his head. It's a distinct possibility in his world. Tenniel's engraving of the White Rabbit considering his pocket watch printed in black, white and red with the word "Late." printed over and over as a tan cloud floating around him on a soft charcoal ba

Let's hear it! We were going to write this copy in binary, but then we thought of your loved ones who may be buying this for you. Said loved ones may or may not be familiar with the long strings of ones and zeroes that make up binary and they may or may not assume that their computers have caught the smallpox upon reaching this page filled with ones and zeros and may or may not cancel their transaction. And then you'd never get this shirt. So, here we go with the greatly abbreviated binary which totally doesn't look like your computer caught the smallpox: 01101111011010000110000101101001 (It caught the LOLtoxoplasmosis instead.) "11 Cheers for Binary" in white ink on a black 100% cotton t-shirt.

Hissssss-ssssssss-ssssssss. Kaboom! ThinkGeek is your source for officially-licensed Minecraft gear. Retro-graphics. Simplistic gameplay. Minecraft takes gaming back to basics. Punching trees and rocks or digging tunnels, you slowly gather an arsenal of weapons and tools to fend off the spiders, skeletons, zombies, and exploding Creepers that are a constant threat. The exploding Creeper is our nemesis. We know you feel our pain. Sometimes it's fun to be the bad guy, though. Taking those dreams and shattering them. We recommend you wear this shirt around: Playing card structures Jenga tournaments The set of any OK Go video Black pixelated face on an Irish green babydoll (fitted) t-shirt. Officially-licensed Minecraft gear. Note: The color of the infant, kids', and ladies' version of this match. The men's is a little different, but as close as we could get to the pixelated goodness of the Creeper.

Throw Down We'll be honest here. We hadn't heard of Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock until that episode of The Big Bang Theory. You could say that prior to that day we were traditional roshamboists. When we heard Sheldon explain how it works and why it's superior to your standard-grade RPS, we immediately paused the TV and went over to teh Intarwebs to do research. And indeed, we found the page by Sam Kass, the genius behind this version. His phenomenon must now be part of our life. However, none of us knew anything about this version of the game. So we ended up playing Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock to figure out who had to write the copy for this shirt. It went a little something like this: Fearless Leader: "One, two, three, SHOOT!" Rules Lawyer: "What's that?" Free Thinker: "It's a zombie." Rules Lawyer: "There is no Zombie in Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock." Free Thinker: "Braaaaaainsssss." Rules Lawyer: "There are no Brains in Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock." Merchant

Davy Jones's Hamper *ahem* Rather than delve deeper into potty humor, we thought we might speak to the awesomeness which is the infant skull. Everybody knows that babies have soft spots on their noggins (which you should not press like a Trouble popper). Called "fontanelles," these spaces allow the baby's skull bones to move and even overlap as your wee geek travels through the birth canal. (We're reminded of Eugene Victor Tooms from season 1 of The X-Files. Please give your baby to the F.B.I. if it begins eating human livers.) The coolest part about having a smooshable skull? The infant brain is able to be imaged using ultrasonography since there's no acoustic barrier. Unless you drill a hole in yours, there's no brain sonogram for you. Ahh, trepanation. Good times.* Cute pirate skull and crossbones printed in white on the front of a black 5 oz. 100% combed ringspun cotton creeper. Tiny booty printed in white on the booty. Short sleeves with lap shoulders. Reinforced three-snap

Show your allegiance with these DC tees. Sometimes you just gotta put the smack down on evil. This shirt is for the sort of women who consider it their duty to rid the universe of evil-doers, one frustrating person at a time, whether your jurisdiction is Sector 2814 or someplace farther out. We salute you. Also, from the back you can totally fool the Sinestro Corps with this shirt color. Distressed Green Lantern logo on a yellow babydoll (fitted) shirt with green and white stripes on the sleeves. Note that this is longer in length than our standard babydolls. 100% cotton. One of these things is not like the others: Be aware that the Superman Hockey Stripe Babydoll is 50% cotton / 50% polyester, which means it will shrink less in the washer and dryer than the others. Note: Please reference the table below to choose your size. S M L XL Chest 30 in. 32 in. 34 in. 36 in. Waist 28 in. 30 in. 32 in. 34 in. Length 24 in. 25 in. 26 in. 27 in.

Paperwork courtesy of Sienar Fleet Systems We got our hands on some highly-classified documents from Sienar Fleet Systems. Looks like the schematics for the TIE Advanced x1 prototype. It indicates various parts, such as the placement of the solar array on these larger, angular wings, the transparisteel viewport, and the super-thick wing brace required for this model. The side view shows Vader's tricked-out, extra-long engine, but not the sound system with the subwoofer he sprung for. Okay, yeah, the notes don't say this is *Vader's* ship per se, but we saw him in it. It's how we identify the big baddie in a group of anonymous TIE fighters. So we're going to call it his. Schematics for the TIE/x1 in black, grey and blue (including a graph paper grid) on a white, 100% cotton t-shirt. This shirt is softer and slightly more fitted than our normal shirts.

Show your allegiance with these DC tees. This is for the woman who's faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, and willing to tack a gratuitous "-El" on to her name. Superman / Supergirl logo on a heather blue babydoll (fitted) shirt with red and yellow stripes on the sleeves. Note that this is longer in length than our standard babydolls. One of these things is not like the others: Be aware that the Superman Hockey Stripe Babydoll is 50% cotton / 50% polyester, which means it will shrink less in the washer and dryer than the others. Note: Please reference the table below to choose your size. S M L XL Chest 30 in. 32 in. 34 in. 36 in. Waist 28 in. 30 in. 32 in. 34 in. Length 24 in. 25 in. 26 in. 27 in.

Coq au Venn The thing about any office space is that it tends to resemble every other office space you've ever been in. Same circus, different clowns. Or in this case, chickens. If any of these sound familiar to you, you may be working in a fustercluck situation: Listening to eight evil boss chickens clucking something about TPS reports. Attending a goodbye party for the department of people that was fired, followed the next day by the welcome wagon party for the 15 new hires. Sitting in meetings that you're pretty sure were called because someone was lonely and wanted to use a laser pointer. Hearing every word of your coworker's phone conversation with his proctologist. Having a burning desire to ask the e-mail admin to disable the "reply all" function. There is only one sure-fire cure to the fustercluck, and that is getting a job at ThinkGeek. There may be some cluckery, but we try to keep the fustering down to a minimum. Office chickens in a meeting on a 100% cotton indigo t-

This shirt gives you a certain glow. This shirt was a "duh" moment for us. While working on the Marie Curie heroine shirt, we were struck by her description of their work with radioactive chemicals in the dark. One of our joys was to go into our workroom at night; we then perceived on all sides the feebly luminous silhouettes of the bottles or capsules containing our products. It was really a lovely sight and one always new to us. The glowing tubes looked like faint, fairy lights. - Marie Curie Hey wait. We can make a shirt do that (without causing the wearer aplastic anemia). And so this shirt was born. The radium atom's electron shells are printed white on this black 100% cotton t-shirt. After a short charge in the light, the white ink glows in the dark.

Thrown Under the Bus The monkeys at ThinkGeek World Domination HQ are fans of public radio. Every time we hear them mention the "in-kind food donation" for the volunteers who answer the phones during the pledge drive we wonder if we should give a corporate gift. But volunteers with the jitters taking your personal information probably isn't reassuring. So we'll stick to the donations at the personal level for now. We bring this up because two of the monkeys were listening to the same rebroadcast of This American Life (from WBEZ Chicago) a couple months back. In episode 389, entitled "Frenemies", Rich Juzwiak has a piece about how "I'm not here to make friends" has become the mantra of reality television show flunkies. He's put together two 3 minute montages, which you can see on his pop-culture blog fourfour. Basically every reality show that ever existed and (also some you didn't know existed) has this phrase in common. He argues that it's possibly the actors' attempt to reclai

I prefer the title "Cleaner of the Gene Pool." When you're cursed with immortality, it helps if the little things in life amuse you. For instance, the word "chimichanga." Chimichanga. Chimichanga. Chimichanga. Or duct tape. Both the words and the object itself. Also, those little yellow boxes. They are the awesome because they are always right. After all, they're Deadpool's thoughts. How could that be wrong? *coughs* And now, a poetry break for our lovers of haiku, brought to you by Deadpool: I hate broccoli And think it totally sucks Why is it not meat? Why, indeed? This black 100% cotton t-shirt features the Deadpool logo, but be forewarned. If you don this shirt, you'll be expected to follow it up with witty repartee or mercenary action. We recommend the former, because we are totally not bailing you out of jail. Again.

Everybody's favorite minor league team! With the weather warming up and summer closing in that means that it's almost time for Isotopes baseball. You can get your season tickets today to ensure great seating in the newly refurbished, state-of-the-art Duff Stadium. Oh, yeah! This season we're excited to announce Krusty Burger and Kwik-E-Mart will sponsor Why Isn't There a Day of the Week That Starts With K Thursdays, featuring free Krusty Burgers for the first 100 ticketholders (with the purchase of a lovely timeshare condominium) and assorted recently expired convenience store perishables for any ticketholders who sign the waiver. Springfield Isotopes logo on a black, 100% cotton t-shirt. Officially-licensed Simpsons merchandise!

Show your allegiance with these DC tees. It's not that you're that much faster than everyone else. It's just that you did it right the first time, so it makes you look that much faster comparatively. Welcome to the bane of The Flash's existence: putting up with how slow everybody else is. You should totally get a badge for your efficiency. Or maybe this shirt. Distressed Flash logo on a red babydoll (fitted) shirt with yellow and white stripes on the sleeves. Note that this is longer in length than our standard babydolls. 100% cotton. One of these things is not like the others: Be aware that the Superman Hockey Stripe Babydoll is 50% cotton / 50% polyester, which means it will shrink less in the washer and dryer than the others. Note: Please reference the table below to choose your size. S M L XL Chest 30 in. 32 in. 34 in. 36 in. Waist 28 in. 30 in. 32 in. 34 in. Length 24 in. 25 in. 26 in. 27 in.

Your Personal Small Through 3X Hadron Collider To the tune of "Particle Man" and with apologies to They Might Be Giants: Large Hadron Collider, Large Hadron Collider Not particle man but particle guider Really cold place, zoomin' around Large Hadron Collider Is it in France or is it Swiss? When it gets going does it cause an abyss? And is the Higgs Boson hiding out there? Nobody knows, Large Hadron Collider. The six major components of the LHC are printed in off-white around the bottom of this shirt, which is a 100% cotton t-shirt in blue dusk. See below for full text.