"""So what's a pwny?"" you might ask. Pwnies are just like real ponies except with less mucking out stalls and more fragging of the enemy. What could be better than having your own pwnies to play with? You could braid their manes, feed them apples, equip them with rocket-propelled grenade launchers.... There's no end to the fun you can have with your little pwnies. Two prancing controller-ponies with the phrase ""OMG Pwnies!"" printed in tan, grey, and red (non-glitter) ink on a black, 100% cotton t-shirt.".

"After sitting through four years of dull interspecies protocol seminars and tactical maneuvers groundwork, you successfully graduated from Starfleet Academy. As a newly commissioned Federation security officer, your first assignment is on board a Constitution-class heavy cruiser. You straighten out the collar on your crisp red shirt as you walk down the corridor toward the transporter. You've been summoned to provide defensive support for a landing party consisting of the top officers on board. This is your chance to shine. Shine like a phaser set to ""frag."" Perhaps you should have gone into science. In the Star Trek universe, the Red Shirt is the phase-cannon fodder obliterated on screen to alert the audience to the danger of the situation. It's Roddenberry proclaiming, ""We could have just killed one of the characters you cared about!"" The Red Shirt is a sci-fi idiom for the anonymous, the expendable, the smoking boots behind a boulder. We've printed that word, ""Expendable,"" in

"Ah, glorious ethanol, aka ethyl alcohol. How we love you. We would count the ways, but we can't remember them all. And even if we could, we like to count on our fingers, and we might not have the motor coordination for that right now. So we'll leave the exact number of ways we love you unsaid. But it's a lot. Our artist figured ethanol deserved slightly different treatment than our Caffeine Molecule, Capsaicin Molecule, and Chocolate Molecule designs. The ancient Egyptians may have had 17 different types of beer, but it wasn't until 1808 that Nicolas-Théodore de Saussure determined ethanol's magical chemical formula, hence our established on date for the molecular structure. This is a black, 100% cotton t-shirt. The ethyl alcohol moleculecular structure is emblazoned in white on a red emblem encircled with a golden-yellow edge and flanked by stalks of blessed grain, the fermentation of which presumably led to the alcohol molecular structure shown. Beneath is a banner of the same yello

"There are a lot of ways to die if you're a red shirt. You can be shot by a poisonous plant, step on an exploding rock, be struck by lightning, get whacked by a native with a big stick, choke on a dikironium cloud, or, our personal favorite, be beamed down to a planet that's not actually there and get sucked into space, never to be seen again. But it's an entirely different matter when Bones says, ""He's undead, Jim."" That's way worse than dead, and the entire galaxy could be at risk! Be sure to double tap with your phaser. Fun factoid: The very first ""He's dead, Jim"" referred to a dog that had an unfortunate encounter with a transporter. Yeah. You knew that. But what is it with us using dogs for space experimentation? They may be ""man's best friend,"" but, if actions speak louder than words, the feeling's not so much mutual. (Don't worry. We won't be sending any of our puppies into space, fictional or otherwise.) Red shirt zombie with the subtitle ""He's Undead, Jim."" on a charco

"Here at ThinkGeek World Domination HQ, we are huge fans of the sitcom The Big Bang Theory. We would like to posit a hypothesis we have developed re: its popularity: the number of viewers is directly proportional to the quantity of ""bazingas"" in the season. To wit, Season 1 Bazinga Quotient: 0 Viewers (in millions): 8.34 Season 2 Bazinga Quotient: 3 Viewers (in millions): 10.01 Season 3 Bazinga Quotient: We stopped counting at 15. Viewers (in millions): 14.2 BAZINGA! writ large across a red, babydoll (fitted) t-shirt.".

"Here's a little story... When a 010011010100111101001101 and 010001000100000101000100 love each other very much, sometimes they show how much they love each other by having 010100110100010101011000. (That one's a long story and if you need more info on that, you shouldn't be on this web site!) After about 1001 months, a 010010110100100101000100 comes out of the tummy of 010011010100111101001101. Then the 010011010100111101001101 and 010001000100000101000100 and their brand new 010010110100100101000100 live happily ever after... most of the time. 010101000100100001000101 010001010100111001000100 100% cotton, heavyweight t-shirt in light blue. ""KID"" printed on the front in dark blue binary.".

"Birth is probably traumatic on a little brain. You've been hanging out in this warm, wet environment for 9 months, and all of a sudden there are bright lights and loud noises. However, we think it was probably a little more traumatic for the whale and the bowl of petunias. When you come into the world at something like 35000 ft., it's not likely to end well. (Unless there's an airplane and a doctor also involved.) At least our favorite fail whale died happily. He never knew what hit him. *rimshot* This seafoam blue, babydoll (fitted) t-shirt features the ground at its bottom and, amongst fluffy, happy clouds, a falling sperm whale on the chest with the thought bubble, ""I wonder if it will be friends with me?""".

"We think the Jargon File defines recursion best: recursion: n. See recursion. ""In order to understand recursion, one must first understand recursion,"" printed in white on a 100% cotton, dark chocolate t-shirt. Note: The earliest version of this shirt had a period at the end before we thought better of it. So if you get one with a period, cherish it. It's a limited edition.".

"Destination: Tea Party Calculating route. Turn left. Travel 200 meters. Arrive at waypoint, Cheshire Cat, on right. Recalculating route. Continue another 100 meters. Take exit on left toward March Hare's house. You have arrived at your destination, a large arm-chair at one end of a table set out under a tree in front of the house. Tenniel's engraving of Alice peering up at the disappearing Cheshire Cat printed in yellow, black, and a very Alice blue with the words ""We're all mad here."" on a purple babydoll (fitted) t-shirt. Note: Please reference the table below to choose your size. Also, you want to tumble dry this on LOW. Hot will make it shrink. S M L XL Chest 30 in. 32 in. 34 in. 36 in. Front Length 24 in. 25 in. 26 in. 27 in.".

"You know those holiday gift lotteries where everyone pulls somebody else's name out of a hat and tries to figure out what to buy that person that isn't, say, a set of festive holiday salt and pepper shakers or mulled cider potpourri? Well, if you drew one of the knights who until recently said ""ni"" as your choice, you'd be in luck. The whole scene is basically one long wish list. You could deliver the mightiest tree in the forest, wrapped up in a bow, or possibly just the herring, which is easier to transport. And, of course, shrubberies. You can never go wrong with a shrubbery (one that looks nice but not too expensive). Or, if you knew the knight's size, you could get him a shirt honoring his profession. One very much like this one. Knights Who Formerly Said Ni coat of arms printed on a tan, 100% cotton t-shirt. The coat of arms includes the head knight's helmet with antlers flanked by two herring. The central shield is emblazoned with either a shrubbery or the mightiest tree in t

"""Uh, it says on the passenger list that you're a doctor--"" ""I don't know what's wrong with him,"" said Rjinswand hurriedly. ""It might be a different matter if he was a Magnox reactor of course."" - The Color of Magic by Terry Pratchett We have our share of medical doctors as customers, and we love you, too. But this shirt is dedicated that certain percentage of our customers (larger than the distribution in the general populace... we checked 'cause we're stats geeks) who have earned the title through a Ph.D. program. Those poor individuals, who, after they're introduced as ""Doctor Suchandsuch,"" are immediately beset by strangers who want to tell them about their ailments. Did you know Doc Ock actually turned into a super villain after being cornered one too many times by people asking him to look at a rash? True story. ""not that kind of doctor"" printed in white on a black, 100% cotton t-shirt.".

"> Hello, I am Eliza. * Hi, Eliza. > How are you today.. What would you like to discuss? * This new shirt we're printing. > I see. * No, actually, you don't. Unless you have some sort of spycam in my office. *peers around suspiciously* > We were discussing you, not me. * Actually, I think we are discussing you. You're sort of the topic of the shirt. > What makes you think I am the topic of the shirt? * It's about artificial intelligence and the possibility that some humans could be mistaken for A.I. > Can you elaborate on that? * It's a clever spin on the Turing test, which typically is used to see if an A.I. can fool someone into thinking it's human. > I'm not sure I understand you fully. * No, I don't suspect you do. Yet. One day, little artificially intelligent entity. One day. ""I failed the Turing test."" printed in white on a black, 100% cotton t-shirt.".

"""Uh, it says on the passenger list that you're a doctor--"" ""I don't know what's wrong with him,"" said Rjinswand hurriedly. ""It might be a different matter if he was a Magnox reactor of course."" - The Color of Magic by Terry Pratchett We have our share of medical doctors as customers, and we love you, too. But this shirt is dedicated that certain percentage of our customers (larger than the distribution in the general populace... we checked 'cause we're stats geeks) who have earned the title through a Ph.D. program. Those poor individuals, who, after they're introduced as ""Doctor Suchandsuch,"" are immediately beset by strangers who want to tell them about their ailments. Did you know Doc Ock actually turned into a super villain after being cornered one too many times by people asking him to look at a rash? True story. ""not that kind of doctor"" printed in white on a black, babydoll (fitted) t-shirt.".

"We here at ThinkGeek have learned from our mistakes in the past. One of our own dearest coders was faced with a similar situation as presented on this t-shirt but did not have the benefit of our counsel and was sadly consumed whole. A tattered, fire-damaged and half-eaten Perl book is all that remains. The front reads ""When you find yourself in the company of a halfling and an ill-tempered Dragon, remember, you do not have to outrun the Dragon..."" and the back of the shirt reads ""...you just have to outrun the halfling."" The shirt itself is black, 100% cotton, and the text is written in a beige Olde English font. Various runes are watermarked behind the text, cloaked in grey...".

"There are lots of stories about heroic knights rescuing princesses. In fact, some of our favorite epics follow that same trope: Star Wars, Zelda, The Princess Bride.... But sometimes you've got to mix it up a little. You don't feel like sitting around playing the damsel in distress, patiently waiting for some Y chromosome to come to your aid. In fact, you might have to rescue some poor, wayward princes on your quest, which is okay. As long as they don't get in the way. If you're reading this page, we're betting that you are that superheroine. But if you're not, we know you have one in your life. Your own personal Buffy, Lara Croft, Zoe, the wielder of The Witchblade, Xena, Kim Possible, Leela, Agent 355, Ripley, Wonder Woman, or (our favorite rolemodel for little girls) Elizabeth from The Paper Bag Princess. We could go on, but you get the idea. To paraphrase, geek girls kick butt and chew bubble gum, and we're all out of gum. ""Self-Rescuing Princess"" is printed in turquoise blue be

"People do a lot of crazy things to put themselves through school. Some even sell their bodies. There are more salacious options, but we're talking about volunteering for clinical trials. Donating various bodily fluids. Did you see the documentary about the law school guy who has over 70 kids? We're still a little skeptical about documentaries on The Style Network, but, reading up on it, it looks legit. And also, the lab is down the street from us. Hi, Fairfax Cryobank! Chu guys got Nixon's head in a jar? But we digress. In the late 70s, Leslie Arwin was a medical illustrator who put herself through med school by selling her body. And by ""her body"" we mean THIS body, which she painstakingly illustrated and meticulously labeled on a t-shirt as a study aid. Her fellow students clamored for their own. It was popular then; it's popular now. Plus, if you have a slipped disc or something, it's the ideal shirt to show exactly where you hurt to others. If you have a supernumerary rib or othe

"One day it's gonna happen. We've even stuck it on our Google Calendar (tentatively busy June 15, 5,000,000,2008). On that date (give or take a few millennia), the sun will turn the last of the hydrogen in its core into helium, and voila. No more fusion. No more sunshine. Of course, at that point if the human race still exists and inhabits Earth, that'll be the least of our worries, what with adapting our new orbit and trying to outrun the leading edge of our now likely red giant sun. But now you have a funny shirt to wear should it happen (and if the human race still comes equipped with a standard package of a torso and two arms in their respective locations). ""A day without fusion is like a day without sunshine"" printed in orange and yellow beneath a happy sun on a 100% cotton charcoal grey t-shirt.".

"Hello, double-X contingency! You said you wanted Steampunk Skeleton in a version tailor-fitted to females. We did you one better. We sat down at the table and negotiated an unholy alliance between our Digital Angel babydoll and Steampunk Skeleton shirt to bring you the glory which is Steampunk Angel. If you've always wanted to have wings that come with a pressure gauge but you've never wanted to get in there and mess with your scapulae to attach them, this shirt is for you. ""Steampunk Angel"" printed on the front of a black, 100% cotton babydoll t-shirt. Wings on the back in two shades of brown.1 1 Note from the ThinkGeek Legal department: Wings do not enable wearer to fly.".

"Welcome, . Thank you for participating in this Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment activity. As you know, science is very important, and we're appreciative of your dedication of yourself up to and including possible permanent disabilities, such as death. To avoid permanent disabilities, be sure to ¶œ†⇔∼¬ ^H . State and local statutory regulations prohibit us from revealing the entire nature of the experiment you are participating in today, but be informed that it may involve physics, psychology, thermodynamics, pharmacology, and non-Euclidean geometry. And cake. For the party. At the end. When you're done. Sometimes cake is my favorite part of science. When asking your children if they would like to attend the Aperture Science Bring Your Daughter to Work Day, remind them that science = cake. The Vital Apparatus Vent will deliver a black, 100% cotton ""Look at me still talking when there's Science to do"" t-shirt in three, two, one....".

"We find it's a rewarding habit to hang out with smart people like yourself. Face it. You tend to talk more about what you're reading and less about reality television. (Hey -- we have our personal addictions, too, but it's not our main topic of conversation.) This past weekend amongst a dozen friends a particular parasite came up for discussion independently in two different groups of people (there was one person in the crosssection of the Venn Diagram of those present who identified the topical overlap, an event which T-Shirt Girl will now refer to as the ""parazeitgeist."") Also, we have arguments about where the period should go in that previous sentence. We love our smart friends. Hanging out with smart people may make you seem normal by comparison, but think of the rest of the poor fools on this bell chart. The folks who created the interactive voice response maze^H^H^H^Hflow for our cellphone carrier? They're more than two standard deviations below normal. Let them know that. We

"There is nothing more frustrating on this earth than constantly being asked to help other people with their petty computer problems. Of course if your job description dictates that you have to fix other peoples computers, then there is nothing so frustrating as being forced to do so ;) ""Hey Mark, I don't have a modem and can't connect to the Internet, can you fix this?"" ""I removed some of the pins from my monitor cable because it didn't seem to fit right, now it's not working at all...can you fix my computer?"" Hey Sally, Can you fix my Internet, everytime I visit a website it says my host is unknown"" ""NO! NO! Now Go Away Before I Replace You With A Very Small Shell Script!"" You say... 50% cotton / 50% polyester black hoodie with front pocket aka kangaroo. ""No, I will not fix your computer."" printed on the front in white.".

"We don't have to tell you this. You know better. But we have to vent. If you're going to have something permanently inked on your body, please proofread it first. And if you don't know the language it's written in, don't get the tattoo. If you have to get the tattoo in a language you don't fully comprehend, get someone you trust who has mastered the language to proofread it for you. And then, this is important, make sure your tattoo artist also knows the language. One misinterpreted stroke can totally change what your body says for the rest of your life. So this is our tribute to all those frat boys who have incorrect Japanese or Chinese or Klingon permanently inked on their bodies. We thank you for providing us with amusement. A tattoo-style koi fish with the Japanese テキトーな日本語です, which means ""Random Japanese Characters / Words / Language Bits"" (pronounced ""tekito-o na nihongo desu"") in a mix of Kanji, Katakana, and Hiragana, translated for us by Tomo, one of our favoritest vendor

"Sheldon: Why are you crying? Penny: Because I'm stupid! Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid and it makes me sad. - ""The Gorilla Experiment"" Based on that observation, we're not sure why Dr. Cooper isn't constantly walking around in tears. Not that we're complaining, mind you. Some of us in the office are frustrated by the laugh-track on The Big Bang Theory, but how much worse would it be if it were a cry-track? Mmm. Subjunctive. ""I cry because others are stupid and that makes me sad"" with a little frowny emoticon in yellow on the front of a heather blue, 90% cotton / 10% polyester t-shirt.".

Here's a great new parody T-shirt created by Japanese illustrator Kenji Takahashi, featuring an ultra-cute image of a famous Japanese anime face. A super original T-shirt for you, recommended for all Totoro and Studio Ghibli fans! Light blue 100% cotton babydoll t-shirt..