Teenormous T-shirts

Just looking at it makes us feel more centered. The word "Serenity" gets spelled one way in Firefly and a different way in Serenity itself. But if you're our customer and you're looking at this shirt, you probably already knew that. This is the movie version, the one that probably most mere mortals are more familiar with since it ended up as part of the movie logo. That way, hopefully, you don't have to spend your time arguing with mere mortals, cause you have better things to do. Like adding captions to cats. Speaking of which, I believe Chemistry Cat is calling.... Serenity in Hanzi on the front of this black, babydoll (fitted) shirt. Tiny Firefly on the back beneath the collar.

"Sometimes I just hate it when I'm right." If you're making a shirt that's a tribute to MacGyver's inventiveness you have a lot of options on objects to include. We chose to put the Swiss Army knife, a roll of duct tape, a paper clip, and a pack of gum, which together represent a total of 33 jams MacGyver gets himself out of in 23 different episodes. Some other frontrunners: hoses (air or water) and light bulbs. Who knew? MacGyver Coat of Arms on a cardinal red, 100% cotton t-shirt. Includes a helm with the requisite mullet, a Swiss Army style knife (scissors, corkscrew, knife, screwdriver), a roll of duct tape, a paper clip, and gum. Oh, and a lit fuse, so move quickly.

Zen and the Art of Server Farm Maintenance The best thing about being a geek is that we have our own little worlds. (And they know us there.) We can get so absorbed in something that the physical world all around us doesn't exist until freaking gravity has to comes along to remind us. This shirt is for the folks who are in that world, zoning out, whether to code or a good game or research or whatever. A blue figure clad in yellow robes with a monitor which displays "HELLO WORLD" for a head is surrounded by a mandala design containing caffeine, a 20-sided die, Pi, a sword and shield, a D-pad, a Bohr-model atom, Saturn (or some other ringed planet), a power symbol, and a brain on an indigo blue, 100% cotton t-shirt.

Just looking at it makes us feel more centered. The word "Serenity" gets spelled one way in Firefly and a different way in Serenity itself. But if you're our customer and you're looking at this shirt, you probably already knew that. This is the movie version, the one that probably most mere mortals are more familiar with since it ended up as part of the movie logo. That way, hopefully, you don't have to spend your time arguing with mere mortals, cause you have better things to do. Like adding captions to cats. Speaking of which, I believe Chemistry Cat is calling.... Serenity in Hanzi on the front of this black, 100% cotton t-shirt. Tiny Firefly on the back beneath the collar.

Diamond In the Rough Sweden. Source of tasty meatballs, flat-packed furniture, and Hans. Also, home of Mojang AB, the company that provides our current addiction, Minecraft. But you already knew that. However, did you know that the impossible object on this shirt is also Swedish in origin? Yep. Created in 1934 by Oscar Reutersv?rd, the tribar optical illusion in question makes this what our Bacon Salt Merchant calls "The Headache Shirt." Don't mind him. He's just bitter that pigs drop pork which can be turned into cooked porkchops but not bacon. Which is a good thing. Because if there were virtual bacon in Minecraft, we'd never see him again. Nine blocks of diamond ore arranged in a tribar on this black, 100% cotton t-shirt. By purchasing this shirt, you agree that ThinkGeek waives responsibility for any headaches it might or might not induce. Do not operate heavy machinery while under the influence of this shirt. We recommend you stick with the pickaxe.

Please Insert Girder Sure the Three Laws of Robotics are good for humans... but our favorite outlaw robot doesn't live by the rules. (Plus, Mom's Friendly Robot Company probably left that bit out of their bending units' programming as a cost-saving measure.) He's less likely to obey orders given by a human than to tell that same human to bite his shiny metal ass. And, occasionally, he has to kill all humans. Bender's Face on on an ice grey, 100% cotton t-shirt. You could probably pull this over your head and pretend you're Bender, but you may end up with people trying to get beers out of your now-exposed beer gut. You've been warned.

Because no one is a genius 100% of the time. Nothing is more humbling than discovering a situation in which your immense body of knowledge is completely useless. Just because you have a PhD in Chemistry doesn't mean you can bake a souffl?. And nobody wins at Trivial Pursuit without at least knowing something about sports. (Luckily, sometimes it's about fencing.) This shirt says, "I'm a genius, but I recognize it's only applicable periodically to my life." Oh, and, "Also, I dig chemistry." The chemical formula for genius (okay, it's not... but it SPELLS genius...), Germanium, Nickel, Uranium, and Sulfur, printed with their atomic properties in white on a black, 100% cotton t-shirt.

A Shirt for Relaxing, Superhero-Style Tie-dye. It's family picnics. It's long summer days spent in the hammock with a good book. It's running through sprinklers and catching fireflies and churning ice cream. Tie-dye makes us happy. So imagine how happy we were when we discovered this shirt. There are tie-dyed shirts for most of the popular superheroes, but we've never seen one that we've really taken to before. This one's subtle and the dye pattern really works with Spidey's costume's design. Blue and red tie-dyed 100% cotton t-shirt with Spider-Man insignia and webbing on front. The back is also tie-dyed but not printed.

We know you're awesome. Shouldn't everyone else? You would think this would have been the quickest shirt from idea to warehouse. We obviously already had the art. It's on the side of almost every package that leaves our warehouse. We know the colors; it's black ink on a cardboard box. But, believe it or not, "cardboard box" isn't really a color that garment manufacturers make. There were lots of chestnuts and tans and chocolates and mochas and espressos (maybe t-shirt girl shouldn't write copy while she's hungry...). There was no cardboard to be found. We'd find a color that worked for the men, but then we couldn't get it for ladies or kids. Or vice versa. Finally, our screenprinter said, "You know what? How about if we custom dye y'all some shirts to match your boxes." Sent them a package from our warehouse full of caffeinated brownies, and, the next thing we knew, we had a set of shirts that's a dead-ringer for our boxes. That's a long way of saying, "here's a shirt." Timmy's

Ship approaching. X-wing class. Be sure to zoom in on this design to get the full effect. All sorts of bits are called out. We're particularly fond of the diagram of the S-foil wing assembly at the bottom right of the design (left of the shirt), shown folded out with arrows and fainter lines for the locked configuration. Well, that and the line indicating proper placement of your "astromech droid." Bonus points if you know why there's an asterisk after Incom 4L4 Fusial Thrust Engine. If you don't, click and drag your mouse across the below: "Alternate Configurations May Use Incom 4j.4 Fusial Thrust Engines." Omnibus: X-wing Rogue Squadron, Volume 1 Schematics for the Incom T-65 X-wing starfighter in white, grey and blue on a black, 100% cotton t-shirt. This shirt is softer and slightly more fitted than our normal shirts.

Echo Station 3-T-8. We have spotted Imperial Walkers. The All Terrain Armored Transport. The Imperial Walker. Just the name is intimidating. AT-AT not so much, which maybe is why they aren't referred to as that in the films. AT-AT sounds like something that could be curled up on a rug in front of your fireplace. "AT-AT! Come here, boy!" When you have a cute name, it's hard to be demoralizing. This is probably also why the Empire never published the specs on the Imperial Walkers. Because they blueprints had a secret: the "toe flap." Toe flaps are for CRUSHING your foes. Also, they sound adorable. Toe flap! Toe flap. We dig toe flaps. They make us break into song. The Drive Motor's connected to the leg bit. The leg bit's connected to the knee joint. The knee joint's connected to the... er. Butt? That can't be right... This is an awesome diagram, but some unfortunate design placement makes this kinda look like the AT-AT walker has a knee joint up his butt. Which it might if Luke an

It seemed like a fun job... Psst, kid. I hear you're interested in flying a TIE Fighter for the Empire. Being one of the few TIE Fighter Pilots of my class still alive, let me tell you why that's a bad idea. For starters, these birds aren't built to last. Cantina jukeboxes are made of sturdier stuff. Sure, you got your crash webbing, your repulsor lift anti-gravity field, and your high-g shock seat, but none of those prevent you from taking a shot where it hurts. While you do have an ejection seat, if you want a better death, don't use it. Exploding is a quicker way to go. The "best" part? The near anonymity. At your funeral, people will say, "Wait... is this the service for DS-36-3 or DS-63-3? I always got those guys mixed up." What I'm trying to say is... there are better careers out there. Go join the Senate or something. Schematics for the Imperial TIE Fighter in black, red and white on a charcoal grey, 100% cotton t-shirt. This shirt is softer and slightly more fitted than

Knowledge Brings Fear Mars University is one of the universe's leading academic institutions. Founded in 2636, this land-, sea-, and space-grant university is the oldest institution of higher learning on Mars. Counted among the universe's leaders in teaching and research, Mars University draws students and faculty from as far away as Omicron Persei 8. Mars U combines innovative teaching and pioneering research in a highly-collaborative environment that transcends traditional gravitational constants. Nestled on the edge of the red desert overlooking lush jungles, the university boasts distinguished residencies from intellectuals such as Dr. Bubblegum Tate, the Downtown Professor of Applied Physics, on loan from Globetrotter University. Our renowned Wong library is home to largest collection of literature in the Western Universe. Whether you're looking for a bachelor's, master's, doctoral degree or post-graduate education, or just a sweatshirt and a Notice of Failure to Graduate c

You've Got to Know When to Walk Away, Know When to Take a Double-Move Action Table-top gamers tend to be a superstitious bunch. Maybe it goes hand in hand with the in-game proof that praying to the god of your choice can make your arrow fly more accurately. Or maybe it's the result of a chemical compound produced in the gourmet gestalt of Cheetos and Mountain Dew. Whatever it is, we definitely have our rituals and eccentricities. One of the ThinkGeek Monkeys was in a group once in which one of the players would begin rolling before the game started, declaring he was "getting all the bad rolls out." Another would chide him because he was "wasting all his good rolls." But we all feel there's something more to the dice than just random chance. When the dice control life and death, they become imbued with powers beyond stochastic phenomena. We've all had The Good Dice and The Bad Dice. This shirt memorializes that horrific night everyone has had when your dice were out to get you. Yo

We've got some good news and some bad news. Officially-licensed Portal gear! Those of you who volunteered to be injected with praying mantis DNA, I've got some good news and some bad news. The bad news is we're postponing those tests indefinitely. The good news is we've got a much better test for you: fighting an army of Mantis Men. Pick up a rifle and follow the yellow line. You'll know when the test starts.- Cave Johnson We think of every day as an adventure here at Aperture Laboratories, and you're about to embark on a great big adventure -- for science! And $60 cash. That's more than you can make giving blood, and after our testing you won't have to ever give blood again! And by "have to" we mean "be able to." All sorts of complications with the gasoline and peanut water thing that we don't want to get into right now. But hey. Did we mention $60 cash? Commemorate your time spent as a Aperture Science test subject with this lovely shirt featuring your fellow test subjects, th

Free Hugs! You know, it's a revelation when you see a DIY project you did in high school done really well. "Oh, so THAT'S what it's supposed to look like." That's exactly what we thought when we saw this bleach-stenciled apparel. For us, bleach stencils were mandated when our unique teenage combination of lazy and messy ruined our favorite shirts. This tentacle stuff elevates the common bleach stencil to a whole other level, so we were pretty excited when this artist out of Baltimore got to the point where she could accommodate ThinkGeek's cephalopodic needs. Note that because the design is handmade for each dress, the placement of the tentacles on each garment is unique. We don't know what you're going to get, but we can promise it won't look just like it does in these photos. That's how art works. Tentacles twine around the front of this 55% cotton, 45% polyester jersey black dress. It's 3.8 oz. which makes it soft to the touch. It's a cute dress, but it also works as a tunic

Bad Horse Bad Horse Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come shoe you? With this shirt, you, too, can be a walking wanted poster for this most notorious of equines. And with art from Megan Lara, who wouldn't want to? Under the word "WANTED," it features the profile of the identified Thoroughbred of Sin against a field of two hammers and what looks like a wreath of acanthus leaves. Under the circle it lists his identifying traits: "Known for his iron hooves and terrible death whinny." The Bad Horse banner flies, with the inscription underneath reading "If spotted, contact Captain Hammer" and hastily scrawled beneath that "(The reward is my hammer.)" Captain Hammer. Not so much a fan of subtlety. Bad Horse Wanted poster printed in a golden yellow on a black, 100% cotton t-shirt.

Aristotle vs. Mashy Spike Plate Officially-licensed Portal 2 gear! Thank you for your interest in working with Wheatley Laboratories. We are now hiring for the following positions: Maintenance Engineers (for fixing up the facility) Tour Guides Primate Care Technicians Support-Services Coordinators for Monitors for the Homeless, our community outreach division In addition, an exciting position has unexpectedly opened up: assistant to the guy in charge of the neurotoxin release button. All applicants for this particular position must have previous experience resolving button-based disputes. U.S. accent preferred. Wheatley Laboratories (with Aperture faintly visible in the background) printed in off-white glow-in-the-dark ink on a black, 100% cotton t-shirt. Note that this shirt is softer and slightly more fitted than our normal shirts.

I don't always wear a tie, but when I do, it's got circuits on it. Perhaps you have a job that requires that you dress up? You've heard the rationale before - "We might have a client coming through, and we want to give them a good impression!" or "the boss is one of those really conservative guys," or "shut up and get back to work." Then again, maybe you wear a tie because you actually like it. Don't scoff! There are a few geeks out there that like to look slick, polished and well put-together. They are rare, but they are proud, fastidious and picky about their dress. Still, at their core, they're geeks, and would love to wear a Star Wars tie, or one shaped like the great sandworm Shai Hulud. Generally speaking, you can't get away with cool geeky ties like those. So your tie selection must either be boring, or they have to be subtle in their geekiness. Behold the circuit-board tie! The subtle motherboard circuit pattern screened in metallic silver and copper onto this necktie lo

Somebody's Got To So you have this new thing to build. The project manager wants it on time. The program manager wants it under budget. The IT architect wants it without modifying the existing infrastructure. The documentation person wants it without too many tweaks to the current help screens. And you. You know how you want it? You want it so that the people it's intended for can use it effectively and efficiently to achieve whatever end they're after. You with your CRAZY aspirations. You'll be the death of us all. (Also, thank you thank you thank you for having our best experience in mind even when we don't know what that might be.) A vector-ized fist with the words "I fight for the users" in a turquoise blue on a black, 100% cotton t-shirt.

Hate You Can Trust *cue cheesy 50s documentary voice* Congratulations on your test results and welcome to the Guild of Calamitous Intent! You'll find many other like-minded villains here who understand the necessity of regulated henching in today's modern society. When you pick up your handbook, be sure to stop by the merchandise table for spectacular t-shirts that advertise your new part in our secret society. Inside the handbook you will find guidance related to the appropriate wearing of said t-shirt. Note that the Raiment Identification Referendum of 1992 states that a guild member in good standing should not wear said t-shirt outside his or her compound where he or she might be recognized, except to official Guild functions. Petitions may be made directly to The Sovereign for laundry day. Red Guild of Calamitous Intent insignia on a black, 100% cotton t-shirt. Officially-licensed Venture Bros. gear.

Yoink! People talk about raccoons pawing through the trash and cat burglers, but really the mammal you have to keep an eye on your stuff around is the rabbit. Remember Oolong, the bunny with a pancake on his head? He was actually stealing that pancake right out from under his owner. But he was so darn cute doing it, nobody minded. Nay, they encouraged it, sending him on a downward spiral of breakfast-product thievery. The Lindbergh baby? Totally a lagomorph behind that. We don't know how. They have skillz beyond human comprehension. And wiggly noses. Note: Please reference the table below to choose your size. S M L XL Chest 29 in. 31 in. 33 in. 34 in. Length 24 in. 25 in. 26 in. 26 1/2 in.

Always let the fuzzy brown guy win. Domo-kun is my copilot, and I dont think my scruffy, Nerf-loving self can handle it for much longer. Sure, hes fuzzy and adorable. But he also eats everything in sight. On our trips, Ive had to survive on apples alone. Then, whenever were in a tough spot -- under fire!! -- he passes gas. Do you know how hard it is to fly this hunk of junk when the cockpit is full of methane? And I wont even get started on how hard it is to understand him. Everything he says is a variation on "rawr." Officially-licensed Domo sports a bandolier on this dark heather, 90% cotton / 10% polyester t-shirt.

They won't give us the port number. One does not simply Telnet into Mordor. Really, you should SSH in if you don't want the Nazgul watching your every move. No, okay. You can't SSH in either. You can't use any of the other app layer client-server protocols. Trust us. We tried. So much for using a remote shell to reboot the Eye of Sauron. Man, I hope the eyeball server team picks up their on-call phone, cause I do not want to walk there. Wait. What? Why not? "One does not simply Telnet into Mordor." in white ink on a black, 100% cotton t-shirt.