Teenormous T-shirts

Because, really, it's best for everyone that way. This shirt works for two crowds. It works for the folks who have had enough of the Keep Calm and ____ meme. It also works for people like, well, everyone we know, who think the world would be better if everybody just STFU. Humanity? We've had just about enough out of you. Your blathering on incessantly and then taking a breather to whine is insufferable sometimes. Maybe you should go sit in the corner and think about what you've done. And... wait! Give me your phone. I know you'll just Tweet about it. Stop. Just for a minute. And give us all a moment to enjoy the silence. This oversized, distressed print boldly states "Keep Calm and STFU" in yellow on a 60% cotton, 40% polyester, black babydoll shirt. Note: Please reference the table below to choose your size. S M L XL Chest 29 in. 31 in. 33 in. 34 in. Length 24 in. 25 in. 26 in. 26 1/2 in.

We will now use our power of mind control to make you buy this shirt. (Is it working?) We only see one thing wrong with this awesome infographic shirt from our friends at Pop Chart Lab. And that is that if you buy it, you're going to have a lot of people staring at your chest for extended periods of time. Which is inconvenient if you're trying to get somewhere. But it could be entertaining if you're in line to see the latest Marvel flick or waiting to get into a panel at a con. Also, the shirt makes a great party game. "Name a superhero/villain whose main power is echolocation." *cover and then reveal appropriate section of shirt* Yeah, yeah. We know. That one was too easy. Just you wait. There are over 200 superbeings on this shirt. Pick your favorite. See if he or she is on here. Click the image to the left to see the detailed version, complete with Zzzax, whose superpower is to be the final entry on any list of supervillains. No, wait. It says "Generate & Manipulate Electrici

To cover your big warm fuzzy secret heart. This shirt is for coders like ours here at ThinkGeek World Domination HQ who embrace their monkey-ness. Who climb to the tops of the tallest trees to announce it to the world. Who go bananas for some good code. In terms of the Jargon File definition, we're talking about definitions 2 and 3. We dream of a day when 1 is no longer in use. code monkey: n A person only capable of grinding out code, but unable to perform the higher-primate tasks of software architecture, analysis, and design. Mildly insulting. Often applied to the most junior people on a programming team. Anyone who writes code for a living; a programmer. A self-deprecating way of denying responsibility for a management decision, or of complaining about having to live with such decisions. As in "Don't ask me why we need to write a compiler in COBOL, I'm just a code monkey." Of course, it's easy to embrace your simian side when your have Timmy as your mascot. More difficult fo

For serious cosplayers While we love Matt Smith, we'll always have a spot in our warm fuzzy secret hearts for David Tennant's Doctor. (And we're jealous of Rose. Incoming really old spoilers from 2008. If you're behind the times, don't read the invisible paragraph below.) After all, Rose gets to live out her days in the alternate reality with the clone-Doctor. It should have been us, dangit. Why couldn't it have been us? And for those of us trying to imitate the 10th Doctor's style, the perfect coat has always been the most difficult part of the ensemble to replicate. For cosplayers of the 10th Doctor (or just fans of his unique style), we present this amazing replica, a limited edition costume piece approved by the folks at the BBC. The outer shell of this long men's coat is a luxurious, cinnamon brown, wool blend fabric. The dark blue indigo lining is very lustrous with a subtle herringbone pattern. There are two tangerine colored welt pockets on the inside made up of the same

Put a skeleton in your closet. People do a lot of crazy things to put themselves through school. Some even sell their bodies. There are more salacious options, but we're talking about volunteering for clinical trials. Donating various bodily fluids. Did you see the documentary about the law school guy who has over 70 kids? We're still a little skeptical about documentaries on The Style Network, but, reading up on it, it looks legit. And also, the lab is down the street from us. Hi, Fairfax Cryobank! Chu guys got Nixon's head in a jar? But we digress. In the late 70s, Leslie Arwin was a medical illustrator who put herself through med school by selling her body. And by "her body" we mean THIS body, which she painstakingly illustrated and meticulously labeled on a t-shirt as a study aid. Her fellow students clamored for their own. It was popular then; it's popular now. Plus, if you have a slipped disc or something, it's the ideal shirt to show exactly where you hurt to others. If y

I've never seen you at any of the meetings. So, sure you think you're human. Don't we all? But how do you know? Really? Memories? Right. We've all seen Blade Runner. And admit it. Haven't your distant friends occasionally said they've seen someone who looked eerily like you? They checked your foursquare to make sure you weren't in town, but no. Must have been somebody else. You are not a number? You're a free man? We've heard that one before, too. Thanks for playing. This black v-neck babydoll comes from our friends at Her Universe, which is owned by Ashley Eckstein, the voice of Ahsoka Tano on Star Wars:The Clone Wars. It features a small red oval badge with a modern Cylon Centurion head on the lower left corner of the front of the shirt and a gorgeous, red foil print up the spine, like you're, well, you know. Busy. The foil is delicate. Turn it inside out when washing on gentle. Tumble dry low (still inside out) or lay flat to dry. Note: Please reference the table below to cho

Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto Super7's Robot shirt is like a Rorschach test in two ways. You can ask folks what they see in the pattern (greygoo being the correct answer for sane people) and you can also ask them which robots they can identify to figure out what type of geeks they are. Which ones can YOU identify? The silhouettes of 20 different robots in grey on a black, 100% cotton t-shirt. Spoiler alert! Need help identifying the robots? (Drag your mouse across the below to highlight the text.) Starting with the middle top robot and working on the right side, clockwise, inward, we have: Maria from Metropolis V.I.N.C.E.N.T. from The Black Hole Twiki from Buck Rogers B.O.B. from The Black Hole Omnidroid from The Incredibles 1-Rover-1 from Battle of the Planets The Terminator from Terminator HAL 9000 from 2001 Classic Cylon Centurion from the original Battlestar Galactica Maximilian from The Black Hole The Robot from Lost in Space Robbie the Robot from Forbidden Planet Gort from The

Prickly Heat This is the perfect shirt for holiday gatherings. You know, those annual events wherein family members whom you haven't seen for ... well, most of them a year, show up and ask intimate questions about your personal life whilst hugging you and commenting on how you've grown? It already makes you bristle. It'd be an added bonus if you could grow spines. The cactus kind, not the kind that classifies us as vertebrates. Protection from predators and cousins. Plus, then you'd get to transpire, and everybody loves a good transpiration. You know what they say: Girls don't sweat. They transpire. Note: Please reference the table below to choose your size. S M L XL Chest 29 1/2 in. 31 1/2 in. 34 1/2 in. 36 in. Waist 27 in. 29 in. 31 1/2 in. 35 in. Length 25 in. 25 1/2 in. 26 in. 26 1/2 in.

You've got Ed on you. Ed's the sort of guy who would have clicked to buy the Shirt Plate from our April Fool's collection. He has probably repurposed Pete's Roomba to carry around beer so eventually it bumps its way over to the couch (as long as they haven't left the front door open again... "Is that our Roomba in the neighbor's garden?"), and he can just reach down to make beer happen. And if Pete had survived the zombie onslaught, well, survived as a human, he wouldn't have bothered to wash the blood out of this shirt. I mean, it's a badge of honor. Proof of the battles he fought. Blah blah war wounds blah blah laundry blah blah. This is the officially-licensed version of Ed's "I Got Wood" shirt from Shaun of the Dead. Pre-stained with blood (aka red ink), it's basically a costume on its own. Which gives you more time to focus on the important things in life like Tekken 2.

Instant costume. Just add geek girl. It's the casual Friday version of the Gryffindor uniform. Okay. Not really. This uniform would only be approved for use when you're hanging out in your dorm or wandering around the school grounds, not so much when you're doing your lessons. Maybe this is what laundry day looks like at Hogwarts. This grey shirt with a collar, house tie, and the Gryffindor emblem printed on it is 50% cotton / 50% polyester. Machine wash cold. Tumble dry low. Do not allow your house-elves to iron. Note: Please reference the table below to choose your size. S M L XL Chest 30 in. 32 in. 34 in. 36 in. Waist 28 in. 30 in. 32 in. 34 in. Length 24 in. 25 in. 26 in. 27 in.

Ties are illogical Allow us to think like a Vulcan for a moment. We're not sure ties are logical. They do not aid in keeping your shirt fastened around your neck. They do not aid in covering your naked body. They are, in all ways of logical thinking, a completely illogical piece of clothing. So why do we have to wear them to work? Unfortunately, even your best Mr. Spock impression isn't going to convince your higher ups that you can go tie-less. So why not spiff up your tie the Starfleet way? This Rhodium plated sliding tie bar features the Starfleet insignia from The Original Series and will make even the most illogical tie look a little more classy. Product Specifications Tie clip for fans of Star Trek Rhodium plated sliding tie bar Officially licensed Star Trek collectible Dimensions: 2" x 3/8"

The parietal bone's connected to the occipi... wait... what? Rocket scientist. Brain surgeon. Sometime in the 1980s this pair became the touchstone to represent challenging jobs that require a lot of focus and intelligence to master. That's been over 25 years now. Do we have a new set of "smart jobs" today? Maybe forensic investigator? Quantum physicist? Virology forecaster? Microphysiologist? Non-Euclidean geometry milk delivery guy? (Yeah, okay, we made that last one up.) This shirt investigates the idea that maybe "rocket surgeon" is a field all its own and not a mashup of the original two smart jobs. Our practitioner is surrounded by his patient and tools on this indigo blue, 100% cotton t-shirt.

A novel concept. Our customers are thorough. Y'all are the sorts of people who will read the book, see the movie, and heatedly debate the merits of the two against each other. And, let's be honest, words rock. The book generally wins. Your own personal imagination trumps Michael Bay's any day. (Also, it generally involves fewer gratuitous explosions.) Using our highly scientific method of Google search results returned, we are relieved to see that the Internet agrees with us. We were a little concerned at first: search terms: movie was better = 2,210,000,000 results search terms: book was better = 2,040,000,000 results Oh wait. We're probably picking up references like "this movie was better than the last one." Let's refine that a little. search terms: "movie was better" + book = 754,000 results search terms: "book was better" + movie = 1,160,000 results That's more like it. We mentioned this was highly scientific, right? And by that we mean we used a Bunsen burner. Because it w

Take a breather. One of the nicest things about working at ThinkGeek World Domination HQ (which you should totally do, BTW) is that you feel like you're in your atmosphere. We have geeks of all stripes, and there's never any apologizing for not catching the past weekend's football games (although we do have our share of sports geeks). The water cooler talk is Doctor Who and the latest scientific discoveries, what everybody's reading and our favorite Greasemonkey plugin. (Also, it should be noted that we don't have a water cooler, but we do have an endless supply of caffeine.) When you forget where your body is and trip on your own feet, coworkers are quick to acknowledge, "I did that yesterday!" (although they will probably Tweet about your incident first). All in all, it's a really comfortable place to be a geek. You never feel like you have to apologize for being different, because here different is what we value. This shirt is for those who breathe geek. It's got all sorts of

Because no one is a genius 100% of the time. Nothing is more humbling than discovering a situation in which your immense body of knowledge is completely useless. Just because you have a PhD in Chemistry doesn't mean you can bake a souffl?. And nobody wins at Trivial Pursuit without at least knowing something about sports. (Luckily, sometimes it's about fencing.) This shirt says, "I'm a genius, but I recognize it's only applicable periodically to my life." Oh, and, "Also, I dig chemistry." The chemical formula for genius (okay, it's not... but it SPELLS genius...), Germanium, Nickel, Uranium, and Sulfur, printed with their atomic properties in white on a black, babydoll (fitted) shirt.

For the gamer who just can't stop. Sometimes when you're in the middle of a raid, hitting pause just won't cut it. Just ask Leeroy Jenkins what happens when you go get something to eat. At least you have chicken, but you've also managed to achieve total party kill. So bring the necessities with you. Soda. Onion rings. Chips and salsa. And a Twinkie for dessert. This contraption seems like the sort of thing our GeekLabs team would put together. We'll ask them to get on that. Right after Shirt Plate becomes a reality. This is an authentic Glennz t-shirt, full of New Zealand-y goodness. Printed on a royal blue, 100% fine jersey cotton t-shirt, this design features a TV-tray gaming controller hybrid. It's printed on American Apparel, which fits differently than most of ThinkGeek's shirts, so be sure to check the Sizing Info tab to ensure you select the right size.

For Anglophiles We love us some good contingency planning. And Britain has that in spades. When everything goes all pear-shaped, there's a plan for that. Nazis taking over? Yep. We got the poster. London overrun by Weeping Angels? You bet. Get your caffeine and cartoon toothpicks right here. Keep Calm and Don't Blink and a little TARDIS printed in white on a blue, 100% cotton t-shirt.

Meet Vitruvian Steve. Hey, it's Steve! You know Steve. His perfect, blocky proportions are highlighted on this remix of da Vinci's Vitruvian Man, suggested by one of our customers. He's surrounded by notes and sketches, as if he's been ripped right out of Notch's sketchbook. The copy for the da Vinci-esque notes on the nature of the Minecraft universe was provided by our head of evil schemes and nefarious plans (referred to in the common parlance as "marketing"), Jamie Grove. It's kind of hard to read in the scripty, "I'm writing this with a quill" font, so we're reproducing it here for your elucidation: Next to the sword One must become terrible and fierce in the company of mobs Next to the piston Machine for pushing blocks by means of redstone power Next to the pickaxe Let no man, who is not a stone mason, read the elements of my work Next to the blocks That shall be brought forth out of dark and obscure caves... Bottom text Every world is the termination of a number of chunks

Later. Right now let's play Global Thermonuclear War. What's the tie between artificial intelligence and chess? As far back as the late 1700s inventors were trying to impress their audiences with automated chess players (automatons with a hidden human doing the chess playing, only they didn't tell the audiences that). In the 1940s, Alan Turing wrote out the directions for building a theoretical chess program, breaking the game down into computable parts. But why chess? What makes it different than, say, tic-tac-toe? Computers are great at tactical thinking; 1s and 0s lend themselves to that. Programming strategic thinking is more complicated, but possible. After all, Joshua figured out that the only winning move was not to play. Chess is special for a couple of reasons. It's something that everyone can theoretically play, but only the cleverest can win. The Grand Masters seem to have a grasp of all the calculations necessary to predict outcome, but also some ineffable quality th

You Deviant, You We find it's a rewarding habit to hang out with smart people like yourself. Face it. You tend to talk more about what you're reading and less about reality television. (Hey -- we have our personal addictions, too, but it's not our main topic of conversation.) This past weekend amongst a dozen friends a particular parasite came up for discussion independently in two different groups of people (there was one person in the crosssection of the Venn Diagram of those present who identified the topical overlap, an event which T-Shirt Girl will now refer to as the "parazeitgeist.") Also, we have arguments about where the period should go in that previous sentence. We love our smart friends. Hanging out with smart people may make you seem normal by comparison, but think of the rest of the poor fools on this bell chart. The folks who created the interactive voice response maze^H^H^H^Hflow for our cellphone carrier? They're more than two standard deviations below normal. L

Does Home Depot Mix Primer to Match Electric Mucus? As you are undoubtedly aware, this shirt features the layout for the second Planet Express ship, since the original was lost on a mission to collect space honey, Zombie Jesus rest its soul, which, since it probably involved an autopilot, is presumably in Robot Hell. This shows the ship's skeleton, including its tripodal landing gear and dark matter engines. A list of specifications provides additional details, such as the manual transmission and the maximum speed (97% the new speed of light, established in 2208). Click on the design above to zoom and see all the details. The schematics for the Planet Express in white on a royal blue, 100% cotton shirt.

Round One: FIGHT! Yeah, so they totally made up "Tesla-cize" above, but we're pitting the two inventors against each other in a strange fact-off.* They duke it out. A winner is you! Wait. What? Tesla believed that both voice and image could be transmitted through the air. Click "Like" above if you just read that sentence over a wireless connection. He was a rocker. He rocked out. Edison had a tattoo, but also invented the engraving apparatus that was later adapted by Samuel O'Reilly into the modern rotary tattoo machine. And the number of the counting shall be three. Toward the end of his life, Tesla became obsessed with the number 3. He died in the New Yorker's suite Suite 3327. Made for each other. Edison proposed to second wife Mina in Morse Code. She also accepted in Morse. Pew pew pew! In 1934 Tesla conceived of a weapon (for national defense) which would use electrostatic repulsion to shoot a beam of particles. Death ray! Shocking. No, really. As part of his campaign to de

There Can Be Only One If you've gotten this far, you're likely already up on all this, but just in case you're looking at this shirt "for a friend," here's quick a refresher courtesy of Dumbledore: "The odd thing is, Harry," he said softly, "that it may not have meant you at all. Sibyll's prophecy could have applied to two wizard boys, both born at the end of July that year, both of whom had parents in the Order of the Phoenix, both sets of parents having narrowly escaped Voldemort three times. One, of course, was you. The other was Neville Longbottom."- Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix This shirt is for those who believe that Voldemort should have marked the other one. "Team Neville" printed in white on a black, 100% cotton t-shirt. Absolutely zero sparkling involved.

There Can Be Only One If you've gotten this far, you're likely already up on all this, but just in case you're looking at this shirt "for a friend," here's quick a refresher courtesy of Dumbledore: "The odd thing is, Harry," he said softly, "that it may not have meant you at all. Sibyll's prophecy could have applied to two wizard boys, both born at the end of July that year, both of whom had parents in the Order of the Phoenix, both sets of parents having narrowly escaped Voldemort three times. One, of course, was you. The other was Neville Longbottom."- Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix This shirt is for those who believe that Voldemort should have marked the other one. "Team Neville" printed in white on a black, babydoll (fitted) shirt. Absolutely zero sparkling involved.