Teenormous T-shirts

Was that the primary buffer panel? Life is interesting. And by interesting, we mean surprising, unexpected, absorbing, engrossing, fascinating, gripping, riveting, entertaining, amusing, diverting, intriguing, and yes, even interesting like trying to land your gorramn ship without a primary buffer panel. Some other great uses for the word interesting: Curse: "May you live in interesting times." (Translation: "We really hope the fates slap you upside the head like you deserve.") Not-A-Lie: "That's an interesting hair color." (Translation: "Did you dip your head in sewage?") Not-An-HR-Nightmare: "What an interesting dress!" (Translation: "Where's the rest of it?") Impending Disaster: "It's certainly an interesting problem." (Translation: "We have no clue how to fix it.") Wash's definition of "Interesting" in white on a black, 100% cotton t-shirt.

There's more than one way to defeat the Cube As seen on The Big Bang Theory! Let's face it, there are geeks out there who can't defeat the Rubik's Cube. (In fact, there are a few ThinkGeek monkeys who fit in this group.) We've been trying ever since the early 80s and still end up throwing the cube across the room in frustration. We get laughed at by our friends who have no problem solving a puzzle with 43,252,003,274,489,856,000 permutations. We sigh when we look at the videos of Rubik's Cube world champions as they flip and twist the cube so fast it becomes a blur. 7.08 seconds? Seriously? It takes us 7.08 seconds just to decide what end to twist first. In honor of the puzzle that melts our minds, this shirt that turns the tables and melts the Rubik's Cube into a lovely and colorful puddle. There's more than one way to defeat the Cube, and we think this one sends a pretty strong message to puzzles everywhere. This is an authentic Glennz t-shirt, full of New Zealand-y goodness.

"Don't Panic. It's the first helpful or intelligible thing anybody's said to me all day." - Arthur Dent to Ford Prefect, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy This shirt is a reproduction of a poster produced by the Earth Ministry of Information. It was the third in a series, intended to be released only in the event of Vogon invasion. Unfortunately, since the Vogons demolished the Earth to make way for a hyperspace bypass, it never really got a chance to be displayed. Well, actually, there were about two minutes between the Vogon ships arriving and the demolition beams in which several public servants ran around trying to remember where they put the poster, which was unfortunate because 1) they spent their last few minutes worrying about their job security, which was really a moot point since they, their bosses, and every TPS report they'd ever written boiled away into space moments later and 2) the poster wasn't actually on Earth any more. But at least they felt needed. The pos

The Theoretical Physicist Always Knocks Thrice We find out in The Cooper-Nowitzki Theorem that Sheldon knows Morse code ("I'm invoking the Skynet clause of our friendship agreement."). That means the three short taps in the triple-Penny-knock could be the S of "SOS." Or possibly he's hissing like a deflated bicycle tire. Or maybe it's an "s" like in "Pssssssst!" That works. That way the knock both performs the function of getting the intended recipient's attention and also communicating information about the nature of the conversation. Okay. Maybe not. One thing we do know for sure is you don't want to ignore him. Cause he ain't going away. "knock knock knock Penny! knock knock knock Penny! knock knock knock Penny!" in white on a black 100% cotton t-shirt. And also, it's in all caps but we didn't do that here because we didn't want to look like we were yelling at you. But you should feel free to yell at people reading your t-shirt. You might notice in the action shots that there

"And the rest, after a sudden wet thud, was silence." - Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Birth is probably traumatic on a little brain. You've been hanging out in this warm, wet environment for 9 months, and all of a sudden there are bright lights and loud noises. However, we think it was probably a little more traumatic for the whale and the bowl of petunias. When you come into the world at something like 35000 ft., it's not likely to end well. (Unless there's an airplane and a doctor also involved.) At least our favorite fail whale died happily. He never knew what hit him. *rimshot* This stone blue, 100% cotton t-shirt features the ground at its bottom and, amongst fluffy, happy clouds, a falling sperm whale on the chest with the thought bubble, "I wonder if it will be friends with me?"

It's not too late for you to turn back. Officially-licensed Portal gear! We've provided one end of this portal. The other end is up to you. Stuck in an endless meeting? Time to break out your handy dandy Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device and WOMPF yourself a way out. Elementary school concert? WOMPF. DMV? WOMPF. The possibilities are endless. This light grey full-zip hoodie is 100% cotton. It has two front pockets and ribbed cuffs and bottom. The zipper pull is a silver-colored 2D Companion Cube. We recommend that you turn the hoodie inside out before washing in cold water. Tumble dry low. Be forewarned: this will shrink if you wash it in warm water or dry it on hot. If you anticipate accidentally doing that, you may want to order a size up. Or if you plan on eating a lot of cake. Note: Please reference the table below to choose your size. S M L XL 2X 3X Chest 44 in. 46 in. 48 in. 50 in. 52 in. 54 in. Sleeve Length 24 in. 24 1/2 in. 25 in. 25 1/2 in. 26 in. 26 1/2 in.

The more you know... In case of zombie apocalypse, the most important thing is to know what you're working with. Identify your tools and figure out what type of undead you're up against. You might be prepared to tear a zombie in half with a machine gun. Effective against a 28 Days Later zombie. Not so effective for a Romero zombie. Which conveniently brings us to the list: Crawler - These are often zombies torn in half by stupid people with machine guns who don't get the "destroy the brain" concept, but these can also be zombies who had accessibility issues in life. They don't move very fast, but if you forget to look down, you'll regret it. Shambler - In all likelihood, this is the sort of zombie you'll be up against. Remember: you move faster than they do. Aim for the head. And if you're going to back yourself into an alley, make sure it's well-stocked with ammo. Walker - Despite the sneak-attack powers of the crawler zombie, the Walkers are the sneakiest of the bunch. That's

It was nice knowing you. This hoodie features the battle scars you earned in your fight with the zombie hordes. Clearly, you've had better days. There are bloody handprints near the pockets and slashes across the chest. There's a deep slash across the back that reveals your exposed spine. There's a bandage on your left wrist revealing bite marks. There's a chunk of missing skull on the back of the hood, which is lined in brains. We'd say you ought to get that looked at, except there's a pretty massive blood spatter on the front of the hood around the area where your mouth would be. Which implies that you ain't one of us any more. But you put up a valiant fight, and for that we salute you. But we're not taking the helmet off, no how, no way. This charcoal grey full-zip hoodie is 100% cotton. It has two front pockets and ribbed cuffs and bottom. The zipper pull (not shown in the photo) is a silver-colored biohazard symbol. We recommend that you turn it inside out before washing in

Apathy is hard work. As seen on The IT Crowd! Writing these amusing and pithy product descriptions you see on ThinkGeek.com is harder than it looks. Take our new 'meh' shirt, for example. Writing copy shouldn't be as hard as coding a first-person shooter in assembly, but sometimes indifference wins and creativity loses. In this case, we gave the writing job to our primary apparel merchant. The best she managed was to write "meh" on the back of a chinese delivery menu. The gadget merchant spent the day drawing doodles in it (after ordering Hunan Beef of course), consisting mostly of stick figures wielding swords. The computing merchant made the most progress: he wrote "t-shirt." He handed the menu to the general manager. She misplaced it in the stacks of other food menus in the kitchen, so we had to start all over. It was then delegated to the customer service monkeys, but they became so unmotivated, they forgot to eat and regretfully expired. The graphic designer made a coffee st

The Bazinga Saturation Hypothesis Here at ThinkGeek World Domination HQ, we are huge fans of the sitcom The Big Bang Theory. We would like to posit a hypothesis we have developed re: its popularity: the number of viewers is directly proportional to the quantity of "bazingas" in the season. To wit, Season 1 Bazinga Quotient: 0 Viewers (in millions): 8.34 Season 2 Bazinga Quotient: 3 Viewers (in millions): 10.01 Season 3 Bazinga Quotient: We stopped counting at 15. Viewers (in millions): 14.2 BAZINGA! writ large across a red, 100% cotton t-shirt.

Some say the world will end with a bang... From the mouth of the Malki ! (best known for the online comic Wondermark): Formulas and variables and integrals and derivatives: to the casual observer it looks like you're doing MATH. But you're NOT. Because when you solve for x, things EXPLODE. You're doing ENGINEERING. "Engineering: It's Like Math but Louder" in front of a huge explosion (think Michael Bay) on an asphalt grey, 100% cotton shirt. Note that this shirt fits differently than our normal shirts. Please click on the Sizing Info tab before selecting a size.

Don't try anything you are about to see at home. Occasionally on Mythbusters, Adam Savage wears one of our shirts. (Also, Kari Byron. Hi, Kari!) It makes us squee uncontrollably when we see one of our shirts on the show. This shirt is basically the reverse of that. We love this shirt that he wears; one of our vendors went out and found the folks who make it. Turns out they had a relationship with this other company, and voila. One purchase order later, we have Adam's shirt. And now you can, too. No branding. No nonsense. Just the same shirt he wears on the show. Well, not the same shirt. That'd be gross. And much more expensive. It'd have science all over it. This one's pristine so you can add your own science to it. A stick figure with "I do all my own stunts" beneath in white ink on a black, 100% cotton t-shirt.

The Latest from Sir Fix-a-Lot I like big bots, and I cannot lie I got the model from Bandai That when my girl weighs in and she says that it's a waste And my credit card she will trace I get stung We were going to write more, but that's where we stopped, because it started going in to something about Bumblebee, and nobody wants that. This shirt contains images of 6 famous oversized robots and the year of their screen debut on a blue dusk, 100% cotton shirt. Spoiler alert! Need help identifying the source of the bots? (Drag your mouse across the below to highlight the text.) 1972 - Mazinger Z 1979 - Gundam 1984 - Voltron 1984 - Transformers 1985 - Macross 1999 - Iron Giant

The Highbrow Version of "Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire" When a handful of us got this suggestion through the Bounty Program, we all giggled. We took it to a group meeting. Everybody there giggled, too. And then we had the natural progression of turning our collective thoughts to that Mythbusters episode about the exploding pants. The idea they were testing was whether a story from New Zealand in the 1930s about farmers' pants combusting was possible. And, indeed, they confirmed it with a liberal application of the herbicide sodium chlorate. So if you encounter a liar you should douse them with sodium chlorate so you can then say, "Teller of untruths, teller of untruths, your pants have combusted!" Be sure to say it quickly, though, because the burn is pretty rapid. You wouldn't want them missing out. Note: ThinkGeek does not endorse fiddling with sodium chlorate (methemoglobinemia FTL), let alone throwing it on someone else and/or setting him or her on fire. Unless absolutely necess

The Dude Abideth Human life is all about proportions and ratios. For instance: a palm is the width of four fingers a foot is the width of four palms a cubit (whatever that is...) is the width of six palms a conventional bowling grip extends to the second knuckle of the middle two fingers a White Russian is the width of 2 fingers of vodka and two fingers of Kahlua Note that there are no toes in the above calculations in case you are missing any. Not even a little toe. As in a tiny part, not as in pinkie toe. Although there's none of them either. What were we talking about? Oh yeah. Life. Proportions. You have to live it. It's important to live it to the fullest. Because fullness is everything. Speaking of that, I'm feeling kinda like I could use a snack.... A print of The Dude standing in the style of Leonardo Da Vinci's Vitruvian Man with a bowling ball in one hand and a White Russian in the other on a camel, 100% cotton t-shirt.

Slurm: It's Highly Addictive! We'd like to thank you, the masses, for making our new "the first one's free!" campaign such a success. So we're offering this commemorative Slurm t-shirt for your purchase! This is the perfect shirt to let others know how much you love our secret blend of over 900 herbs and spices. Look for the bottlecap to win a visit to the planet Wormulon for the Slurm Factory Tour! For those of you who haven't yet tried Slurm, we encourage you to! Now. Much like an excessive dose of radiation, Slurm gives you that healthy green glow. And also possibly superpowers.1 Plus, it's good for you!2 "Enjoy Slurm" is printed, slightly distressed, on a black, 100% cotton t-shirt 1 The Bureau Of Soft Drinks, Tobacco, and Firearms has not reviewed this statement for accuracy. 2 Note: Slurm has been found to cause cancer in laboratory humans.

And, if so, what do electric sheep dream of? As seen on Evil Wil Wheaton in The Big Bang Theory! What do you dream of, Mr. Dick? Around these parts, we dream of Electric Sheep. Design originally appeared in this comic. Five-color print, silk-screened by androids onto 100% cotton charcoal grey t-shirts. And, yes, this is a genuine Diesel Sweeties design.

Continuation of the Species This is a shirt in celebration of GeekDad, where being a geek and being a parent come together in a gravity well so strong not even light can escape. GeekDad is all about parenting in the digital age: geek parents raising offspring in their own geeky image. And here at ThinkGeek we're all in favor of more geeks. GeekDad logo on the front with a GeekDad tag cloud on the back of a 100% cotton, black t-shirt.

As if it's going to help. Your neighbor has this piece of property which she quite erroneously refers to as a home. It's not a home; it's a swirling vortex of entropy. And since she sleeps like the dead (and has a snoring problem that really needs medical attention), she shouldn't mind you cleaning it. Who wouldn't want to wake up to perfectly organized closets and ironed underthings? So when your roommate floats the idea of sneaking over and shampooing said neighbor's carpet, it seems perfectly logical. Why not? The carpet IS dirty and probably teeming with bacteria. What? He was being sarcastic? How were YOU supposed to know? Maybe he should have been wearing this shirt. This shirt provides a friendly start tag on the front and a end tag on the back of a black 100% cotton t-shirt. As if it's going to help.

Right smart purchase, this t-shirt. We like Firefly. You like Firefly. This here's a Firefly all official-like t-shirt. If you were fixin' to buy yourself one of them Firefly shirts to fill out your wardrobe or that of one of your fine companions (in quotes or out, we're not particular), we'd appreciate it if you bought it from our fine stock here at ThinkGeek. Much obliged. The Firefly logo on a brown 100% cotton t-shirt.

OMG Pwnies!!!!1! "So what's a pwny?" you might ask. Pwnies are just like real ponies except with less mucking out stalls and more fragging of the enemy. What could be better than having your own pwnies to play with? You could braid their manes, feed them apples, equip them with rocket-propelled grenade launchers.... There's no end to the fun you can have with your little pwnies. Two prancing controller-ponies with the phrase "OMG Pwnies!" printed in tan, grey, and red (non-glitter) ink on a black, 100% cotton t-shirt.

Pop-Tarts, Rainbows, and Cats - Filled with Awesome Rainbows on Pop-Tarts and a little grey kitten 8-bit animation - we confess that we're smitten Flying through space while a Vocaloid sings These are a few of our favorite things saraj00n's YouTube plus prguitarman's doodle Daniwell's music - resistance is futile Flying through space still without any wings These are a few of our favorite things When malware strikes Stuck in meetings Don't have the iPad We simply remember our favorite things And then we don't feel so bad Nyan Cat on a soft, blue, 100% cotton babydoll (fitted) shirt. Note: Please reference the table below to choose your size. S M L XL 2X Chest 32 in. 34 in. 36 in. 38 in. 40 in. Length 25 1/4 in. 26 1/4 in. 27 1/4 in. 28 in. 28 1/2 in.

And on that bombshell... You know how when you walk for a while with your friends who have longer legs, you end up feeling like a dachshund, jogging to keep up? Now imagine doing that across Pangaea. And now imagine you're only a third the size of your neighbors on the taxonomic tree, the giant sauropods. That'd be a lot of jogging you'd have to do to keep up if you were a stegosaurus or an allosaurus. So we imagine the smaller Kimmeridgian dinosaurs tried to arrange more effective forms of transportation for themselves. Being airlifted by a flock of archaeopteryx might work, but a vehicle allows for independence. And when the dinosaurs needed a way to test the comparative speeds of various modes of transportation available to them in the late Jurassic period, they naturally turned to their tame covered lizard. Some say... A stegosaurus in The Stig's iconic white uniform and helmet graces the front of this charcoal grey, 100% cotton t-shirt. Oh, and also? Tire tracks.

Be the Doctor this Halloween (or all year!) There are three kinds of people who can wear this jacket. 1. Old professors with half-smoked pipes held precariously in their teeth as they consult faded, leather bound copies of lost apocrypha scribed by ancient (legend has it even headless) monks in dank cellars beneath castle keeps in lands faded by time. 2. Writers in movies, especially horror movies involving English teachers. We're not sure why, but this seems to be the jacket of choice for men about to uncover some heinous, misbegotten crime against life, usually in a cabin in the woods, all while working on the next Great American Novel. 3. Renegade timelords and the fans that adore them. By which we mean you. Here at ThinkGeek World Domination Headquarters, this fine jacket is the apparel of choice. We wear it in the streets of our local metropolis, while waving our sonic screwdrivers and making vague and unusual comments within earshot of visiting tourists. (Things like: "So t