Teenormous T-shirts

Fun with Chemistry: a Ferrous Wheel As seen on Big Bang Theory! Right. If you're checking out this shirt, you probably like corny chemistry jokes, so here's another for you: Two atoms walk into a bar. One atom stops and says to the other, "I think I just lost an electron." The second atom asks "Are you sure?" The first atom replies, "I'm positive!" *rimshot* A ring of ferrous ions (Fe+2) is printed in white on this 100% cotton, maroon shirt.

See Ya Everybody gets invited to parties they don't really want to go to. Maybe you already know it's not gonna be your thing or there are going to be a lot of people there you don't want to see. Or maybe you really do need to floss your cat. But you go anyhow, because you're a good friend. Or you need to get out of the house. Or maybe you put all the long nights and effort into the project, and you're going to be damned if somebody else eats all your congratulatory cake. But at least let them know that you're there under duress. And you won't be staying long. Just until you can achieve low-Earth orbit and jury-rig a decent propulsion system. And then you're outta there. "I'm only here until I achieve escape velocity" printed in yellow and orange on a charcoal grey, 100% cotton t-shirt.

Fun with solids! So, Johnny was diligently working in the lab trying to generate a little nucleation. But things weren't going so well and he's just not having any luck. Then all of a sudden his lab partner fumbles in, accidently knocking Johnny's beaker of silver nitrate into some potassium chloride which spills all over Johnny. 'Heavens to Betsy!' Johnny gleefully proclaims as a beautiful white solid of silver chloride materializes. And that's why, the legend goes, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate. Teal, 100% cotton babydoll with black text and pics on it. Beneath some nifty drawings of labatory equipment reads...'If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate'.

Live Life with Blue Sun! In this crazy 26th century, Blue Sun is the company you can depend on. You probably know us through some of the universe's favorite foods, including Blue Sun Cola and Fruity Oaty Bars, but we do more than that. Much more. We go where we are needed, and wherever there are settlers, there's a need for Blue Sun. We work to identify and address problems in colonies and create solutions, spreading happiness wherever we go. We are committed to creating sustainable colonies, because you are Blue Sun's most valuable product! We have a presence in locations as varied as the Space Bazaar Sky Plex and downtown Capital City on Osiris. And although you can find us throughout the universe, you'll find our approach is very close-to-home -- very hands-on. Our goal is to be right there for you -- always! Terraforming can turn a rock into a habitable world, but the presence of Blue Sun makes a place truly livable. We'd be proud for you to wear one of our corporate logo shi

You see a large wooden door. You open it. You enter a dark cavernous conference room. There are whiteboards, notepads, and a speakerphone. The faint smell of dry erase markers and stale coffee hovers in the dank office air. The fluorescent light above you flickers briefly. You see hidden in the shadows the glistening, faceted eyes of your manager. The foul smelling monster breathes heavily -- drooling on a stack of TPS reports. What do you do? I attack. I swing my 2-handed sword at the fell beast! Luckily I'm wearing my +20 Shirt of Smiting, otherwise my roll of 17 would have been merely a glancing blow against his AC 37 scaly hide. Thanks to my new shirt (which also acts as a keen edge spell), it's a critical hit! DOUBLE DAMAGE! Where are the Cheetos? 100% cotton heavyweight t-shirt in black. Don't be deceived by its comfy feel and relaxed fit: with "+20 Shirt of Smiting" printed on the front in white, you're practically invincible!

The Ultimate Hoodie - an International Icon Who is the wearer of the average hoodie? Hoodies are worn by preps, goths, jocks, party boys, and of course geeks (which is why we love them) - and just about every other style known to man. Even though its color, material and cut may vary wildly - any garment with a hood attached will probably always be referred to as a "hoodie." We've found the answer to your search for the ultimate hoodie. ScotteVest's patented Personal Area Network (PAN) provides integrated wire management for iPods and other devices right in the garment. Special earbud loops keep your music within easy reach. This version is made of black, lightweight micro fleece, thick enough to keep the chill off but thin enough that you can control your devices right through the fabric. Features: 11 Pockets, Personal Area Network (PAN), Weight Management System, Magnetic Pocket Closures, Collar Loops, HangingPockets, DeepPockets, Pen/Stylus Pockets, No-Bulge Pockets, Secret Poc

Throw Down We'll be honest here. We hadn't heard of Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock until that episode of The Big Bang Theory. You could say that prior to that day we were traditional roshamboists. When we heard Sheldon explain how it works and why it's superior to your standard-grade RPS, we immediately paused the TV and went over to teh Intarwebs to do research. And indeed, we found the page by Sam Kass, the genius behind this version. His phenomenon must now be part of our life. However, none of us knew anything about this version of the game. So we ended up playing Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock to figure out who had to write the copy for this shirt. It went a little something like this: Fearless Leader: "One, two, three, SHOOT!" Rules Lawyer: "What's that?" Free Thinker: "It's a zombie." Rules Lawyer: "There is no Zombie in Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock." Free Thinker: "Braaaaaainsssss." Rules Lawyer: "There are no Brains in Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock." Merchant

Crank your gas chromatograph to 11! Remember when you rocked? Yeah, I'm talking to you. Back in the day when music was so loud it made the fillings in your teeth rattle out? (Yeah! Those dang cheap fillings made from silver and mercury (symbols Ag and Hg (heh, didn't you always think hydrargyrum was a funny sounding word for mercury (oh! and did you know you can actually force the noble gases to bond with mercury by utilizing an electric discharge...)))) wait, when did you become a chemistry geek? We know geeks come in all forms - there are computer geeks, physics geeks, geology geeks, astronomy geeks, but the oft ignored chemistry geek is about to get some love, ThinkGeek style. Proclaim your love for your favorite portion of the periodic table of elements with this masterpiece of a t-shirt! 100% cotton heavyweight black tee with white and red depictions of 11 heavy metals from copper to bismuth doodled in the style of a 16-year-old metalhead. You do, indeed, rock.

Sometimes You Just Have To Get Away Feeling homesick? Spend too much time in Oz fixing other people's computer problems? Just close your eyes, click your heels, don this fine t-shirt and all your troubles will flow by the wayside just like those luser files piped into /dev/null. Black high-quality heavyweight 100% cotton t-shirt with the phrase 'There's no place like 127.0.0.1' written front and center in white.

OMG Pwnies!!!!1! There's only one gift that would make every little gamer girl's dreams come true: pwnies. Pwnies are just like real ponies except with less mucking out stalls and more fragging of the enemy. What could be better than having your own pwnies to play with? You could braid their manes, feed them apples, equip them with rocket-propelled grenade launchers.... There's no end to the fun you can have with your little pwnies.* Two prancing controller-ponies with the phrase "OMG Pwnies!" printed in tan, grey, and red glitter on a black cotton babydoll shirt. Also available in a women's classic cut if you'd prefer more generous proportions. * No pwnies were harmed in the making of this shirt. However, the red glitter is genuine unicorn blood. Sorry about that.

Does Schr?dinger's Cat Live? Twisted up in Schr?dinger's uncertainty thought experiment, this historical kitty has been put through a quantum ringer that nobody should have to experience. After all it's tough work being both alive and dead simultaneously. Every student of physics knows that Schr?dinger's 1935 paper regarding a hypothetical paradox involving a cat has perplexed and annoyed physics geeks for years. The basic idea; If the outcome of a circumstance is presently unknown and by observing the circumstance you will disrupt it, then it exists in all possible states simultaneously... Simple! At least to quantum physicists with massive craniums. And hey eventually this principle will seem commonplace, but by then our highways will connect galaxies and shirts like this will be so utterly obvious that they'll likely be dish rags. Don't get it? We propose the following thought experiment: Give your friend enough money to purchase the "Schr?dinger's Cat" shirt (don't forget the

Awww.... geek love! Looking for the perfect gift for your girlfriend, wife, or even your mom? How 'bout the "I love my geek" shirt? It pretty much speaks for itself, and proves to the world that geeks really are lovable! I [heart] my geek on a black, babydoll (fitted) shirt. Also available in a women's classic cut if you'd prefer more generous proportions.

The Artist Formerly Known as The Knights Who Say "Ni" You know those holiday gift lotteries where everyone pulls somebody else's name out of a hat and tries to figure out what to buy that person that isn't, say, a set of festive holiday salt and pepper shakers or mulled cider potpourri? Well, if you drew one of the knights who until recently said "ni" as your choice, you'd be in luck. The whole scene is basically one long wish list. You could deliver the mightiest tree in the forest, wrapped up in a bow, or possibly just the herring, which is easier to transport. And, of course, shrubberies. You can never go wrong with a shrubbery (one that looks nice but not too expensive). Or, if you knew the knight's size, you could get him a shirt honoring his profession. One very much like this one. Knights Who Formerly Said Ni coat of arms printed on a tan, 100% cotton t-shirt. The coat of arms includes the head knight's helmet with antlers flanked by two herring. The central shield is embl

Come to the Dark Side The Dark Side gets all the cool toys. You come to the Dark Side, we can guarantee you a cape. You wanna use your powers to get into the movie theater for free? Cool with us. We provide excellent theme music for stalking through your lair. Oh, and don't forget: black is slimming, and it goes with everything. Power, strength, fashion sense, a great 401k, plus, we offer the ultimate prize -- cookies! Bet you didn't know the Sith Lords were a veritable cadre of Iron Chefs in the kitchen. By harnessing the power of the Dark Side, they've made these cookies well-nigh irresistible. Can't you almost smell the scent of fresh-baked cookies, wafting through the airlock.... Heavyweight 100% cotton black ladies' fitted t-shirt. But no milk. Milk promotes strong bones and a healthy body, and we don't need that crap.

For the More Literal Minded... Is your body the staging area for a future geek? Or do you know a gestating female mammal who's growing her own? Celebrate the miracle of birth with our Geek Inside shirt, logo emblazoned in white on future mom's belly. There'll be no question of what sort of toys to buy the little tyke with this guidance. Break out the USB-powered crib mobile, the Hoberman blocks, and the caffeine-laced pacifier. These are maternity shirts, a 100% cotton combed ringspun jersey in black with the Geek Inside logo in white across the belly. Note: Please reference the table below to choose your size. S M L XL Chest 38 in. 40 in. 44 in. 48 in. Waist 40 in. 42 in. 46 in. 50 in. Front Length 25 1/2 in. 26 1/2 in. 27 1/2 in. 28 1/2 in. Hip 46 in. 48 in. 52 in. 56 in.

Infinite Protection in One Shirt Wouldn't life be a hell of a lot easier if it were a video game? Concrete goals like "Save the Princess" would make worries like "What college do I attend?" completely obsolete. No more confusion about who your enemies are... just steer clear of any spiky shells or strange turtle dragon hybrids. Of course the 1up Mushroom would be there to help. Many times in life we avoid taking a risk because of the dire consequences (death, dismemberment) involved. Collect a 1up mushroom and you would have carte blanche to try pretty much anything with no permanent repercussions. So go ahead... stick that plasma mug in the microwave for 30 minutes. When your house turns into a nuclear waste site simply use your 1up Mushroom to re-spawn at the beginning of the level. No muss... no fuss... we would. Charcoal tshirt with a pixelated mushroom on it and '1up' printed beneath. 100% heavyweight cotton tees.

The Day Without Fusion is Coming One day it's gonna happen. We've even stuck it on our Google Calendar (tentatively busy June 15, 5,000,000,2008). On that date (give or take a few millennia), the sun will turn the last of the hydrogen in its core into helium, and voila. No more fusion. No more sunshine. Of course, at that point if the human race still exists and inhabits Earth, that'll be the least of our worries, what with adapting our new orbit and trying to outrun the leading edge of our now likely red giant sun. But now you have a funny shirt to wear should it happen (and if the human race still comes equipped with a standard package of a torso and two arms in their respective locations). "A day without fusion is like a day without sunshine" printed in orange and yellow beneath a happy sun on a 100% cotton charcoal grey t-shirt.

Optimize your Liquid Throughput No matter how fast your connection is, there's always something you need that's bigger than your pipe. And you're stuck with a loading icon. Or worse yet, an interminable slideshow of the special features of the product you're attempting to download, built solely to taunt you into wishing you could be using it instead of watching the slideshow. And then (finally) whatever it is you were waiting for, your personal digital holy grail, is loaded. Loaded. Loaded! Which is exactly what you will be if you take the advice of our shirt. "Loading... please wait" expresses the frustration that humans can't go from zero to inebriated in a picosecond. And if you're wondering, the 26% in the middle of this black, 100% cotton shirt is how much of *you* is loaded, not the beer. That's why there's a lot more beer to drink. You should probably do something about that. You don't want folks to wait around, twiddling their thumbs, while they wait for you to finish loa

Yummy Theobromine. Caffeine is our favorite stimulant. It is easy to get and comes in many forms. But did you know that Caffeine has a sexy younger cousin. Her name is Theobromine, and she's the tasty little number who puts your mind in a happy place while you are eating chocolate. Molecularly similar to caffeine, but with just enough differences to make her a much smoother date, Theobromine is slower to burn out of your system and induces gentle, sensual stimulation to your muscular and cardiovascular systems. Grrrrrrrr! The Theobromine molecule is presented in a beautiful magenta against a sumptuous backdrop of a milk chocolate shirt. Like a raspberry dipped in ganache, this shirt is just waiting to be given to that special someone. In the words of the immortal Barry White, "Your sweetness is my weakness." Milk chocolate, 100% cotton ladies' shirt. Looser cut than the babydoll tee, this is considered a "classic cut". It's styled for women, but is not tight or fitted. 100% combe

Come to the Dark Side The Dark Side gets all the cool toys. You come to the Dark Side, we can guarantee you a cape. You wanna use your powers to get into the movie theater for free? Cool with us. We provide excellent theme music for stalking through your lair. Oh, and don't forget: black is slimming, and it goes with everything. Power, strength, fashion sense, a great 401k, plus, we offer the ultimate prize -- cookies! Bet you didn't know the Sith Lords were a veritable cadre of Iron Chefs in the kitchen. By harnessing the power of the Dark Side, they've made these cookies well-nigh irresistible. Can't you almost smell the scent of fresh-baked cookies, wafting through the airlock.... Heavyweight 100% cotton black t-shirt. But no milk. Milk promotes strong bones and a healthy body, and we don't need that crap.

Wi-Fi Signal Status for You and the World! Here at ThinkGeek we're pretty lazy when it comes to technology. We expect our gadgets to do all the busywork while we focus on the high level important tasks like reading blogs. That's why we hate to have to crack open our laptops just to see if there is any wi-fi internet access about... and keychain wi-fi detectors, we would have to actually remove them from our pockets to look at them. But now thanks to the ingenious ThinkGeek robot monkeys you can display the current wi-fi signal strength to yourself and everyone around you with this stylish Wi-Fi Detector Shirt. The glowing bars on the front of the shirt dynamically change as the surrounding wi-fi signal strength fluctuates. Finally you can get the attention you deserve as others bow to you as their reverential wi-fi god, while geeky chicks swoon at your presence. You can thank us later.

Thank You, Mario, But Our Princess Rescued Herself There are lots of stories about heroic knights rescuing princesses. In fact, some of our favorite epics follow that same trope: Star Wars, Zelda, The Princess Bride.... But sometimes you've got to mix it up a little. You don't feel like sitting around playing the damsel in distress, patiently waiting for some Y chromosome to come to your aid. In fact, you might have to rescue some poor, wayward princes on your quest, which is okay. As long as they don't get in the way. If you're reading this page, we're betting that you are that superheroine. But if you're not, we know you have one in your life. Your own personal Buffy, Lara Croft, Zoe, the wielder of The Witchblade, Xena, Kim Possible, Leela, Agent 355, Ripley, Wonder Woman, or (our favorite rolemodel for little girls) Elizabeth from The Paper Bag Princess. We could go on, but you get the idea. To paraphrase, geek girls kick butt and chew bubble gum, and we're all out of gum. "S

An Artistic Approximation Of Pi What is Pi? Some might define it as the ratio of a circle's circumference divided by its diameter. Others might think it's an irrational number that's impossible to know completely. Still others might think it's a mystical, transcendental, almighty number that will only finally be revealed when society as a whole puts on a bunch of purple felt jump suits and hitches a ride on a nearby comet. Those people aren't reading this description though. They are browsing the howtothinklikeaflower.com website. But we digress... We here at ThinkGeek like to think of Pi as a way to help you come up with creative reasons to spend your hard earned cash on a T-shirt. Quick question. When is Pi day? March 14th of course. Think about that for a second. Now, while still mesmerized, drop this shirt into your shopping cart. Metro blue 100% cotton heavyweight t-shirt with the Pi symbol on it. The first 4493 digits of Pi were used to construct the Pi symbol itself. That'

Apathy is hard work. As seen on The IT Crowd! Writing these amusing and pithy product descriptions you see on ThinkGeek.com is harder than it looks. Take our new 'meh' shirt, for example. Writing copy shouldn't be as hard as coding a first-person shooter in assembly, but sometimes indifference wins and creativity loses. In this case, we gave the writing job to our primary apparel merchant. The best she managed was to write "meh" on the back of a chinese delivery menu. The gadget merchant spent the day drawing doodles in it (after ordering Hunan Beef of course), consisting mostly of stick figures wielding swords. The computing merchant made the most progress: he wrote "t-shirt." He handed the menu to the general manager. She misplaced it in the stacks of other food menus in the kitchen, so we had to start all over. It was then delegated to the customer service monkeys, but they became so unmotivated, they forgot to eat and regretfully expired. The graphic designer made a coffee st