Teenormous T-shirts

Admit it, you're a Gear. You've spent so much time playing Gears of War that you've lost your personal identity. You're ducking behind cars and expecting to get shot from any angle. At this point, you may as well put on the tags. Sure, you're not a real life soldier, but you are a total badass member of the Delta Squad when an Xbox controller is in your hand, and that's all that counts, right? (Not everybody has the sheer awesome to be a soldier in real life. Some of us have to settle for the next best thing.) These COG tags are made of solid metal and have real weight. In fact, we're pretty sure you could get your name engraved on the back if you wanted to go really hardcore with them. They feature the text PROPERTY OF THE COALITION OF ORDERED GOVERNMENT and are about 1.25" in diameter - about the same size as they appeared on the in-game characters. Wear 'em around your neck or hang 'em like fuzzy dice off the rearview mirror of your assault vehicle, aka the Honda Civic. Badas

You'll discover it when you least expect it. A new element is being added to the periodic table after its discovery was confirmed by a team of Russian and American scientists. The element, named Surprise, appears to point the way to still more elements with chemical properties no one can predict. The team, based outside of Dimitrovgrad, Russia, produced the element by smashing together isotopes of thorium, a natural radioactive chemical element, with a bologna sandwich. The chief scientist on the team admitted that the addition of the sandwich was initially accidental, but added "we duplicated the results with a second bologna sandwich." The particle accelerator was rendered temporarily unusable after the byproducts of the experiment, surprise and mayonnaise, were left in it overnight. A spokesperson for the General Assembly of the International Union of Pure and Applied Physics, which approves the naming of new elements, admitted, "We're just as surprised about this as you." Th

Round One: FIGHT! Yeah, so they totally made up "Tesla-cize" above, but we're pitting the two inventors against each other in a strange fact-off.* They duke it out. A winner is you! Wait. What? Tesla believed that both voice and image could be transmitted through the air. Click "Like" above if you just read that sentence over a wireless connection. He was a rocker. He rocked out. Edison had a tattoo, but also invented the engraving apparatus that was later adapted by Samuel O'Reilly into the modern rotary tattoo machine. And the number of the counting shall be three. Toward the end of his life, Tesla became obsessed with the number 3. He died in the New Yorker's suite Suite 3327. Made for each other. Edison proposed to second wife Mina in Morse Code. She also accepted in Morse. Pew pew pew! In 1934 Tesla conceived of a weapon (for national defense) which would use electrostatic repulsion to shoot a beam of particles. Death ray! Shocking. No, really. As part of his campaign to de

You Deviant, You We find it's a rewarding habit to hang out with smart people like yourself. Face it. You tend to talk more about what you're reading and less about reality television. (Hey -- we have our personal addictions, too, but it's not our main topic of conversation.) This past weekend amongst a dozen friends a particular parasite came up for discussion independently in two different groups of people (there was one person in the crosssection of the Venn Diagram of those present who identified the topical overlap, an event which T-Shirt Girl will now refer to as the "parazeitgeist.") Also, we have arguments about where the period should go in that previous sentence. We love our smart friends. Hanging out with smart people may make you seem normal by comparison, but think of the rest of the poor fools on this bell chart. The folks who created the interactive voice response maze^H^H^H^Hflow for our cellphone carrier? They're more than two standard deviations below normal. L

Let the cat out of the dojo. Katinja, we're briefed in the dossier, is the leader of this band of merry ninjas which includes a panda, a rabbit, a monkey, a binturong (warning: video contains graphic cuteness), and a rogue gumball machine. Wait. How does a gumball machine sneak up on anyone? Okay. Obviously these are questions we should not ask or we might have one fewer of those nine lives, if you know what we mean. Katinja (a ninja cat) with crossed ninjato graces the front of this charcoal grey babydoll (fitted) shirt. Plus, there's a really cute iPhone wallpaper of this same image available for download. Just don't go and leave us here. All alone. With the ninja.

Deeply Entrenched in the Digital World What's the problem with having a handful of digital gadgets at your every beck and call? You then have to find a place to stash them, which is not always convenient. All the adorable party clutches which we must have for special events? They don't really accommodate today's gadget girl. No space for your camera, your phone, your eReader. You can either settle on a bigger, slightly-less-cute bag or do what we do: throw on the Women's Trench Coat from SeV. With 18 pockets, it gives you lots of options. Heck, you could bring more stuff with you. Lipstick for touch-ups. Chapstick because it's awesome. Mittens. Kittens. (No, wait. Not kittens. We got carried away.) Sunglasses. Umbrella. Plus, tuck your wallet or clutch in a pocket, and you're totally hands-free. We're done here. Check please. This black, 100% polyester, water- and stain-resistant coat features 18 pockets, SeV's patented Personal Area Network (PAN) for wire management, and their

It all adds up. The math smarts. It starts in her when she's young. This is the little girl who excels at counting things. She has her hand raised when they're learning multiplication. She's the one who, while everyone else is assiduously avoiding eye contact, hopes she gets called on to do the problem at the board. She could do her homework in pen, but she chooses not to, cause that would just be showing off. When she gets bored in class and it looks like she's not paying attention, that's because she's a chapter ahead of everyone else, double-checking her answers. "Show your work" is seen as a challenge either because it's all in her head (how do I show you neurons firing?) or because she has to choose the most elegant solution. If a train leaves Chicago at 2 p.m., she's the engineer. (See what we did there?!) "No, I Will Not Do Your Math" in pink on a white, 100% cotton ladies' shirt. Looser cut than the babydoll tee, this is considered a "classic cut". It's styled for women,

Some say the world will end with a bang... From the mouth of the Malki ! (best known for the online comic Wondermark): Formulas and variables and integrals and derivatives: to the casual observer it looks like you're doing MATH. But you're NOT. Because when you solve for x, things EXPLODE. You're doing ENGINEERING. "Engineering: It's Like Math but Louder" in front of a huge explosion (think Michael Bay) on an asphalt grey, 50% cotton / 50% polyester ladies' shirt. Note that this shirt fits differently than our normal shirts. Please click on the Sizing Info tab before selecting a size.

Stop, drop, and roll. Our lawyers told us we had to add a disclaimer to this shirt's page. So here we go: The text of this shirt is not intended to encourage the wearer of this shirt or its readers to set things on fire. ThinkGeek shall not be liable for any loss or damage of whatever nature (direct, indirect, consequential, or other) whether arising in contract, tort or otherwise, which may arise as a result of your wearing of (or inability to wear) this shirt, or from your purchase of (or failure to purchase) the shirt from this site. Purchaser is solely responsible for the use of the shirt in any applications, including those of an experimental nature. But srsly, kids, please always have a responsible adult around when working with fire. Also, it never hurts to have a fire-escape plan and a fire extinguisher. Store them next to your zombie-escape plan and your zombie extinguisher (read: shotgun). "Non-flammable? Challenge accepted." in white ink on a black babydoll (fitted) s

CONFIRMED Popularized by Adam Savage, this quote is the best thing that came out of the 80s schlock film The Dungeonmaster (although we, too, want calculator watches from which we can fire lasers - pew pew pew!). And it works so well with science as opposed to cheesy, low-budget films. Because the scientific method is all about determining the characteristics of our observed reality through experimentation. Ironically, we frequently find ourselves misremembering Mythbusters episodes themselves, and then our reality is different from somebody else's until Wikipedia clears it up for us. Although if we're basing our reality on Wikipedia, that's probably not ideal. Call in the reality clean-up crew to aisle 5! Officially-licensed Mythbusters gear. Shirt features Adam Savage's quote "I reject your reality and substitute my own" with the Mythbusters logo beneath on a black, 100% cotton t-shirt.

Official lunar/winter neck warmer Aperture Thermal Neck Wrap, to be used on moon expeditions in lieu of heated space suits. Instructions: Wrap the Thermal Neck Wrap around your face and neck to brave the sub-arctic temperatures of deep space and filter any moon dust that may enter your lungs if you accidentally stop holding your breath, which we strongly suggest you DO NOT DO. - Aperture Science Lunar Expedition Manual Remember, when the weather outside is frightful, the weather on the moon is anything but delightful. But never fear! Aperture Science equips their test candidates with only the best in economical safety devices. The Aperture Thermal Neck Wrap will keep you warm and toasty and filter out a non-zero amount of dangerous airborne particles should you wear it as a mask over your nose and mouth. Hooray for Science! Product Specifications 100% acrylic Going to the moon? Use this thermal neck wrap to handle the cold temps. In an office with cold temps... or chilly tempera

Pew pew pew! New shirt! The problem with regular t-shirts is that they're always the same. If you got a shirt with Darth Vader on it, it will always have Darth Vader on it. No matter how hard you wish, you can't turn it into a shirt featuring Boba Fett. It just won't happen, Wisher, so stop wishing. Stop wishing and get a Lazer Shirt. Lazer Shirts are interactive white t-shirts that let you design your own creation with the power of UV light. Simply touch the ultraviolet Lazer to the shirt, press the button, and draw or write whatever you want. Step into the darkness and your shirt will glow, displaying your creative genius. When the design finally fades, you can use your UV light to draw something totally new. And even though your Lazer Shirt is magical, you can still toss it in the washing machine like every other t-shirt. Product Specifications Create your own temporary glow-in-the-dark designs on your shirt Note: Despite what the photo may lead you to believe, the t-shirt

And in the next panel... This tokidoki x marvel teamup design is a series of comic panels Human Torch flies through space with text "Minutes later, Human Torch is on his way...." Doctor Doom holds a doughnut and is being growled at by Cactus Pup Bastardino. Captain America with his tray says, "I love burgers!" Wolverine fights a dog over a turkey leg. A tokidoki girl in the background screams, "Stop them!" The Mighty Thor. (That's a sentence. It's Thor. He can do that.) Iron Man takes a Heisman-esque pose with the Incredible Hulk in the background. The text reads, "Iron Man for the Touchdown." Silver Surfer floats at a stoplight with the text, "Meanwhile, Silver Surfer was stuck in traffic...." Cyclops heat-rays a plate with the thought bubble, "Chicken & waffles?" Spider-Man swings through the frame with a smitten Ciao Ciao and the words "To Be Continued." The above in greyscale on a white babydoll (fitted) t-shirt. There's a slight scoop to the neck. The back neck has a tokido

What would you do with more time? "I mark the hours every one nor have I yet outrun the sun. My use and value unto you are gauged by what you have to do." - Inscription on Hermione's Time Turner What would you do if you had the ability to turn back time and have a few extra hours in your day? In no particular order, we would: play more video games, eat second breakfast, read more books, hang out with all of our friends that can't hang out with each other, play more video games, re-watch HBO's Game of Thrones while comparing the dialogue to the source material. You know, important things. This Time Turner won't actually turn time back. (Otherwise, we'd have to charge a lot more. And honestly, we probably wouldn't be selling it so much as using it ourselves.) It's an authentic recreation of Hermione's Time Turner pendant necklace from the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Plated in 24 karat gold, the Time Turner features a working miniature hourglass and rotating inne

Free Hugs! You know, it's a revelation when you see a DIY project you did in high school done really well. "Oh, so THAT'S what it's supposed to look like." That's exactly what we thought when we saw this bleach-stenciled apparel. For us, bleach stencils were mandated when our unique teenage combination of lazy and messy ruined our favorite shirts. This tentacle stuff elevates the common bleach stencil to a whole other level, so we were pretty excited when this artist out of Baltimore got to the point where she could accommodate ThinkGeek's cephalopodic needs. Note that because the design is handmade for each shirt, the placement of the tentacles on each garment is unique. We don't know what you're going to get, but we can promise it won't look just like it does in these photos. That's how art works. Tentacles twine around the front of this black, 100% cotton t-shirt. It's ringspun which makes it softer to the touch than our standard tees.

Let Batman protect your wealth It's a pity that Bruce Wayne couldn't use this money clip. At least not while he's being a billionaire playboy. Then again, we figure that he probably doesn't carry large wads of green. On the other hand, Batman isn't exactly swinging the Batmobile through the drive-thru at his favorite burger joint either. So it's up to you to fly your Bat flag high with this super sweet Batman Money Clip. It's a tiny batarang that folds protectively over your precious money, keeping it from flying away. Die-cast, sheathed in a ninja-like matte black rubberized coating and with a magnetized grip, this is the stealthiest and most effective batarang money clip on the face of the planet. Product Specifications A tiny batarang to fold around your precious money Die-cast and sheathed in matte black rubberized coating Magnetized grip holds your cash in place Don't forget to have your Batmobile detailed

Simple Guidelines for Organizing Your Zombie Protest Congratulations! We're glad you're ready to fight for zombie rights. This article outlines some of the steps involved and the associated pitfalls to avoid when planning a successful zombie gathering. Leadership. As you know, it is vital that some of the living remain in positions of leadership in the organization to provide the necessary motivation and thought-process behind running a large organization. Although, for consistency, you probably want your highest official to be a zombie in order to have him speak incoherently at corporate meetings and drool convincingly in discussions with politicians. However, leadership at the event should be an intelligent human, sympathetic to zombie rights. As the event coordinator, this human can provide guidance via a megaphone and also serves as a rallying point around which zombies will gather. Occasionally this "gathering" leads to "dismemberment" so you want to ensure that your event

High Score So these might not be the brightest aliens we're talking about here, but they're very determined. "You destroyed all our guys? Even the super-sneaky mystery ship??? Well, fine. We have a plan B. Which is... go faster." It may not be the most clever tactic from our spaceship invaders, but you have to admit, it works. Unless you're Donald Hayes, according to Twin Galaxies, they're eventually going to win. You can only hide behind that laser base so long, so we advise you go out in a blaze of 8-bit glory. This black, full-zip hoodie is 100% cotton. It features a wrap-around argyle print of Space Invaders? in red, white and grey. The hood is lined with a white crisscross pattern. It has two front pockets and ribbed cuffs and bottom. The zipper pull is a silver-colored laser canon, completely player-controlled. Only this one moves up and down instead of left and right. *thinks* Unless you lay down in the hoodie.... Right. Moving on. We recommend that you turn it inside out

By Varying Degrees "Uh, it says on the passenger list that you're a doctor--" "I don't know what's wrong with him," said Rjinswand hurriedly. "It might be a different matter if he was a Magnox reactor of course." - The Color of Magic by Terry Pratchett We have our share of medical doctors as customers, and we love you, too. But this shirt is dedicated that certain percentage of our customers (larger than the distribution in the general populace... we checked 'cause we're stats geeks) who have earned the title through a Ph.D. program. Those poor individuals, who, after they're introduced as "Doctor Suchandsuch," are immediately beset by strangers who want to tell them about their ailments. Did you know Doc Ock actually turned into a super villain after being cornered one too many times by people asking him to look at a rash? True story. "not that kind of doctor" printed in white on a black, 100% cotton t-shirt.

To Boldly Pin Where No One Has Pinned Before J. J. Abrams has taught us that he can make changes to a beloved film franchise and have it come out squeaky clean - bright, polished, and so shiny it leaves anamorphic lens-flares everywhere. All he needed to do was recast a little, gloss-up the scenery, and throw an entire planet into a black hole. No big deal, right? No doubt about it, Star Trek fans are a very nitpicky lot. "Excuse me! Delta-Vega was near the great galactic barrier, and certainly not within visual distance of Vulcan, sir! Worst. Reboot. Ever." But, as Trekkers age, they're not being replaced as quickly as the younger crowd being raised on Firefly, Naruto, and *shudders* Twilight. If Trek didn't reboot, it would die. Slowly. Painfully. As if devoured by a Salt Monster. So, the actors changed. The starship changed. Uniforms changed. Consequently, everybody had to buy new prop-replicas and collectibles. It sucks, but you've got to stay with the times, man! It is with

Please Leave Quietly Ed in Crouch End, London: unlocked the 'Local' badge. Shaun in Crouch End, London: unlocked the 'Local' badge. Liz in Crouch End, London: failed to unlock the '<font color="#2398c9"Foodie' badge. <font color="#2398c9"Snakehips in Crouch End, London: unlocked the '<font color="#2398c9"Player Please!' badge. <font color="#2398c9"Various Zombies in London: unlocked the '<font color="#2398c9"Swarm' badge. <font color="#2398c9"Shaun in Crouch End, London: wrote a tip @ <font color="#2398c9"Winchester Tavern: Aim for the head. <font color="#2398c9"Shaun in Crouch End, London: became the mayor of <font color="#2398c9"Winchester Tavern. The Winchester Tavern's coat of arms above the words "Winchester Tavern Crouch End, London" on a military green 100% cotton t-shirt.

Rawk it, old skool girl. You were a gamer before they made pink controllers. Heck, you were a gamer before there were female characters. When it was revealed that Samus Aran was a girl, you cheered while your brother stared slack-jawed at the screen. If you do play a female character in a game it's because you like her moves, not because she's the only female option. (Case in point: In SMB2, the floating power is quite convenient!) Whether you call yourself a gamer girl, grrl gamer, or just a gamer (because really, why qualify it?), this hair bow proclaims your love for your 8-bit heritage. Clip your hair back with this stylish 8-Bit Hair Bow so your tresses don't get in the way while you're aligning the perfect headshot in your favorite FPS. Product Features Pixelated hair bow makes you look better than Ms. Pacman Shiny plastic candy finish Metal spring clip on reverse Perfect for any hair style

"No Plus No Equals No" - TMBG, "No!" As seen on The IT Crowd! We offer this shirt of ultimate disambiguation for your confused friends and colleagues. It's truly versatile. Works in a wide variety of situations. While you're there, I was wondering if you'd get me...? No. Could do me a favor and fix my comp...? No. Dear Sir/Madam, I am sorry I have to contact you in this manner. I am the son of the former President of.... No. See what we mean? You don't even have to respond. Your shirt does it for you. So many opportunities for "No." So little time. "No." printed in white across the chest of a black, 100% cotton shirt. It's like the adult version of Milo Oblong's shirt. Slightly more subtle, but no less true.

You'll discover it when you least expect it. A new element is being added to the periodic table after its discovery was confirmed by a team of Russian and American scientists. The element, named Surprise, appears to point the way to still more elements with chemical properties no one can predict. The team, based outside of Dimitrovgrad, Russia, produced the element by smashing together isotopes of thorium, a natural radioactive chemical element, with a bologna sandwich. The chief scientist on the team admitted that the addition of the sandwich was initially accidental, but added "we duplicated the results with a second bologna sandwich." The particle accelerator was rendered temporarily unusable after the byproducts of the experiment, surprise and mayonnaise, were left in it overnight. A spokesperson for the General Assembly of the International Union of Pure and Applied Physics, which approves the naming of new elements, admitted, "We're just as surprised about this as you." Th