Teenormous T-shirts

Be Lazy and Save the World Some folks are about the high ideals of saving the environment; you're more into practical application of the concepts. By wearing the same shirt two days in a row, you managed to avoid using 40 gallons of water to wash and 4 kilowatt-hours to dry a perfectly rewearable shirt. Hey -- if you avoid Italian for dinner, you might be able to make it three. But be sure to do the sniff test. You wouldn't want to lose friends over your dedication to the environment. As an added bonus, you didn't have to hang out in the laundry room. Back when we were in college (and, yes, we're dating ourselves), we could finger the soda machine to find out what temperature the sodas were or how many Mountain Dew were left, but we're jealous of today's students. They can now go online to find out if any washers are open, pay for the laundry with their student ID, and then receive an e-mail alert when the washer and/or dryer is done. No more carrying rolls of quarters down the h

More is Never Enough So you are playing around with some shell scripts and all of a sudden you have this insatiable desire (aren't *all* desires insatiable?) to throw down a tall cool one. But you are stuck in the central nerve center of your netops late Friday night (early Saturday morn), knee-deep in a tangle of fiber and switches, far far away from the nearest hop-stocked fridge or pub...or so you thought... Just 'cd' into the nearest /pub and use your favorite paging util to down a few and you'll feel right as rain. Available on a heather forest (greyish-green, er greenish-grey) shirt with a shell prompt and 'cd /pub' and 'more beer' written in white. Note that some action shots show the shirt in a leaf-color (greenish-blue, I mean bluish-green), which is no longer available.

All Sizes Void Warranties Kids are born with this ability and drive. They take things apart to figure out how they work. They immediately stick fingers in any holes they can reach to see what happens. They feed the DVD player oatmeal in case it's hungry. Somewhere along the way, some folks grow out of this habit (good news for the DVD player). And then there's the rest of us. If you're growing your own little tinkerers, techies, builders, hackers, fabricators, decontructionists, DIY enthusiasts, makers, bakers, or even candlestick makers, you need this shirt for them. Cause you know from personal experience that they can void warranties with the best of them. 100% cotton, pre-shrunk, black t-shirt with the phrase "I void warranties" on it front and center. Beneath the phrase are nine different types of screwdriver heads - including Clutchead, Hex, Bristol, Robertson Square-Tips, and Torx!

Differential Diagnosis So let's talk differential diagnosis here. Our patient is exhibiting: tingling in the fingers tremors / chills anxiety It could be an autoimmune disease or some peripheral vascular disease... or it could be that it's the middle of winter and the patient forgot to wear a shirt. We can save this one! We have the technology. This shirt looks like you stole it from some unseen Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital gym locker room. Which is probably just what House would expect you to do if he didn't have you busy breaking into a patient's house for clues about his or her history. Or possibly over-stressing the patient to elicit a non-fatal symptom that'll direct your diagnosis one way or another. Or possibly fatal. It is a hospital, after all. It's one of the best places you can choose to die. The doctor to patient ratio in restaurants and on planes is severely lacking by comparison. "Property of Princeton Plainsboro (Est. 1896) Teaching Hospital" is printed i

OMG! I'm 4LL gR0w|\| uP! It is the natual evolution of things. We wreak havoc as kids, we grow up, get jobs (hopefully) and sometimes have kids of our own and complete the cycle to adulthood. Ok well maybe not the adult part. We all like to play with gadgets and toys, whether we're 8 or 80, otherwise we wouldn't be here, would we? But for those lucky ones who have the joy of a rugrat or two following in your footsteps, you've got something to be proud of for once. For the tech-savvy dad, the Binary Dad t-shirt is a perfect gift for Father's Day. 100% cotton heavyweight t-shirt in very dad-friendly blue with "DAD" in binary printed on the front in white.

Linux: The Choice Of A Gnu Generation We'll use the more than apt description of Linux from ESR's Jargon File: Linux /lee'nuhks/ or /li'nuks/, not /li:'nuhks/ n. The free Unix workalike created by Linus Torvalds and friends starting about 1991. The pronunciation /li'nuhks/ is preferred because the name `Linus' has an /ee/ sound in Swedish (Linus's family is part of Finland's 6% ethnic-Swedish minority) and Linus considers English short /i/ to be closer to /ee/ than English long /i:/. This may be the most remarkable hacker project in history -- an entire clone of Unix for 386, 486 and Pentium micros, distributed for free with sources over the net (ports to Alpha and Sparc and many other machines are also in use). Linux is what GNU aimed to be, and it relies on the GNU toolset. But the Free Software Foundation didn't produce the kernel to go with that toolset until 1999, which was too late. Other, similar efforts like FreeBSD and NetBSD have been technically successful but never ca

It's funny because it's true Once upon a time, there was this guy we knew. His name was Billy.* Billy was a fun guy, liked to hang out and stuff. Then one day, something happened which changed Billy's life forever. He was IMing with some friends when he read a very funny joke. He typed "LMAO" as a response, but then it really fell off. It's true: Billy L'ed so hard his A fell O. And now Billy's life is much more difficult. He can't sit in chairs properly. When he shops for pants, he always has to ask if the store has an A-less department. And just forget about going swimming. It's such a difficult life. We try and help him as much as we can. Sometimes, though, we L behind his back. His A-less back. *Not his real name.

IM IN UR ING UR Comes with a washable marker so you can write and reuse! Although the "im in ur" meme started off with virtual death and destruction (I'm in your base killing your d00dz), it was quickly overtaken by the legions of cute, fluffy, and irresistible. (And by that we mean cats.) Reclaim the phrase for the humans by captioning yourself. This shirt is full of write-on, wash-off goodness. Tell everyone you're in their noun verbing their noun! Bored with what you wrote this morning? Throw the shirt in the wash and think up a new saying. It's like Mad Libs meets Photoshop in a head-to-head deathmatch on your chest. Imagine the possibilities! Visiting in-laws? We recommend, "im in ur offspring sproutin' ur family tree." Stuck at the office? May we suggest, "im in ur meeting eatin' ur donuts." Out for some wardriving? How about "im in ur unsecured network downloadin' ur pr0n." Techs could proudly wear their own "im in ur computer upgradin' ur RAM" shirts. Or for a more recurs

Infinite Loops Do Exist Sometimes you'll be writing a line of code, and it'll foil you at every turn. Whatever you try, nothing seems to work. It should be so obvious (and once you figure it out, it will have been). This is the moment when you need to embrace the maxim from this t-shirt. Let it provide you encouragement during those dark coding hours when all hope seems lost. Hopefully, it's all a misplaced parens. These things happen. while ( ! ( succeed = try() ) ); printed in white on a 100% cotton black t-shirt.

What goes in, must unfortunately come out. Nothing quite prepares you for the joys of feeding and cleaning up after a cute little baby! Take the edge off the concept of strained peas and pea-colored poop by thinking of it in techie terms! Input up front, output in the back!

A shirt for lovers of the lilly-livered As you may have noticed, ThinkGeek offers some fine ninja products... As Timmy, our faithful monkey mascot, constantly reminds us, the arch enemy of the ninja is the pirate. Therefore we felt it was high time to create an apparel ode to our other most favorite rogue ... the Pirate. Whether you're sailing the high seas, or languishing under house arrest after downloading the latest torrent of Episode III... you'll be ready for potentially illegal action in this stylish shirt. 100% cotton heavyweight t-shirt with common pirate speak on the front and the jolly roger on the back.

Shut up and show your spirit! Whether you went to college or not (or "university" as you Europeeps are wont to call it), you can appreciate the desire to show support for your school. It doesn't matter if you want to put a sticker on your car, paint your chest with funny letters, or wear a furry animal suit at sporting events. If you love your school you'll find a way to show it. Well, we've teamed up with the fine folks over at STFUniversity to provide an outlet to show a little school spirit. STFU is our favorite institution, and though many of us attended other universities around the world, we're encouraging as many people as we can to embrace STFU and its ideals. Tuition is cheap at STFU, in fact it's free. There are no books to buy, and since there's no physical campus, you can study as little or as often as you like; though we think you'll find the more you immerse yourself in the STFU lifestyle, the happier and more fulfilled all our lives will be. 100% cotton, heavyweigh

Flying majestically over the digital wasteland, blades chopping at the air at 3.4GHz, the mighty ROFLCOPTER soars. The ROFLCOPTER is an important part of the defense of LOLrville. Along with the LMAOplane, TTYLnukes, and our troops carrying AFK47s, the ROFLCOPTER is used as a mobile troop carrier, and anti-TTYLTank weapons platform. Emblazoned in white fixed-width ASCII glory over a black 100% cotton t-shirt, the ROFLCOPTER is a welcome addition to any geek wardrobe.

Yoda needs to update his $PATH Sometimes a line of code eludes you. It's as difficult as... well, as lifting a sunken X-Wing out of the swamps of Dagobah. And when you're in that predicament, remember Yoda's sage advice. Perhaps if you remember it in this particular format, it'll spur you on to bigger and better coding. Or... not. We can't promise it'll help, but it can't hurt, right? Everything's better with Yoda. $DO || ! $DO ; try try: command not found (aka "Do or do not. There is no try.") printed in white on a 100% cotton black t-shirt.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat. We think the Jargon File defines recursion best: recursion: n. See recursion. "In order to understand recursion, one must first understand recursion," printed in white on a 100% cotton, dark chocolate t-shirt. Note: The earliest version of this shirt had a period at the end before we thought better of it. So if you get one with a period, cherish it. It's a limited edition.

Aaargh. I'm a scary monster! Aaargh. For fans of the Japanese monster character Domo-kun, here's a great new shirt for you! A high quality 100% cotton T-shirt features the unmistakable face of Japan's most famous TV spokesmonster. Let everyone know you're a little different -- a great item for Domo-kun fans! 100% cotton heavyweight brown t-shirt.

Vent Those Luser Frustrations, SQL Style Too bad you can't use SQL queries in the real world. We suppose it's also too bad that reality (whatever that is) doesn't have a command line mode. Or does it? And if it did, would we also have access to replication from this all encompassing command line? Go find out. We have already, right ThinkGeek? 'Yes ThinkGeek, we have already'. Black tshirt with the following SQL query written in white on front "SELECT * FROM users WHERE clue > 0". Unfortunately, zero rows are then returned....uh oh. And hey! there is no freakin semi-colon at the end of this query because not everybody under the sun uses the same database with the same console/shell - and there is more than one way to skin a cat. Umkay? Umkay.

There's nothing wrong with a little ego. There are countless formulas and maxims out there in the universe of math, physics and more ? The Pythagorean Theorem, a basic differential equation, E=mc2, and the definition of Pi are ones that many of us know (or at least knew at one point). Well, here at ThinkGeek Research Labs?, we have toiled for many years and have finally come up with what we like to call "The Ultimate Inequation?". The Ultimate Inequation is a highly complex and well-documented representation of the basic premise of superiority shared by many a geek, gamer, or hacker. Put simply, the Ultimate Inequation is i > u. Q.E.D. 100% cotton t-shirt in heavyweight black (suprised ya, didn't we?). "i > u" is printed on the front in white. Ain't simplicity grand?

Your First Doctor Holds a Special Place in Your Heart(s) We decided to make a shirt in tribute to one of the first traumatic experiences in life -- the visit to the pediatrician. It involves hanging out in waiting rooms with sick kids, toys you're not allowed to play with because other sick kids have been touching them, and an oversized children's Bible as the only reading material for folks under 3 feet tall. When you finally see the pediatrician, he does something to distract you so he can give you a shot, and all you get in return is a lollipop. Not a fair trade. Our 100% cotton black shirt features the phrase "You Never Forget Your First Doctor" under an inexplicable picture of an old-style British police phone box with a white starburst behind it. We have no idea what's going on with that.

YCMV (Your Chimpanzeeness May Vary) Face it. You knew from the first time you climbed on the monkey bars that you were 98% Chimp. You could swing, screech, eat bananas... really all you needed were opposable toes and some additional body hair to make the picture complete. In the 1970s studies emerged comparing promising sequences of aligned human and chimpanzee DNA. The divergences were striking in their minimalism -- the differences due to base substitution came back under 2%. Aha. There's that opposable toe. Even today, with new technology and the entire chimpanzee genome mapped, the numbers run about the same. Unless you count indels. Which we don't. Don't get us wrong. We like indels. Heck. Just the way they put the word together makes us all misty for "modem." Indels, aka insertions and deletions of nucleotides in a protein sequence, make up an additional estimated 3% of differences between human and chimp genetics. They're common in non-coding regions of the DNA, bits where

Pluto gets demoted, ThinkGeek makes a shirt. Imagine yourself a tiny planet, happily orbiting the sun at nearly 6 billion kilometers. One morning, you check your email - ooh, an urgent message from the International Astronomical Union. "dear sir... yadda yadda... regret to inform... yadda yadda... planetary status has BEEN REVOKED?!" WTF? Some scientists are protesting, others even taking legal action, but it's true - the IAU has created rules governing the definition of 'Planet', and our favorite Kuiper-belt object has officially been voted out of the planetary house. ThinkGeek's latest shirt show's Pluto's likely response, if it were sentient, spoke English, and frowned on cursing. Black high-quality shirt with a white depiction of the solar system, the ninth orbital body of which quietly lamenting, "weak."

Tired of constantly having an opinion about everything? Just shutup. Unless you've recently been indicted by your local law enforcement, chances are slim that you've had to say the words 'No comment' to anybody (other than perhaps your psychiatrist). And isn't it really the case that by saying 'No comment' you are in fact making a comment? There are implications and assumptions that co-exist with folks that persistently maintain that they don't have a comment to make. Assumptions of guilt, intrigue and superiority mostly. Well here at ThinkGeek we think you should just take it easy for awhile and shut up. Stop telling folks so much. Focus inward. You'll accomplish far more on the computer that way. 100% cotton heavyweight black t-shirt with 'No Comment' quoted via common programming syntax for comments. Oh the irony.

One Fine T-Shrit Most of our t-shirts we offer to you, our customers, are funny. Why? Well, it's all part of the philosophy of ThinkGeek. We believe that humor is a special part of the human experience. Like fine art, humor helps us reflect upon ourselves and the human condition in a very unique and sometimes oblique way. And for humor to be good, it really has to be simple, honest, and perfect. Each word has to be carefully chosen. Good humor is a very intellectual process. At ThinkGeek, we apply this same humor methodology to our business model. We want to be honest with you folks and also to be perfect for you. For our products, we strive to make sure each description is accurate and each image is crystal clear. We know a lot of you are perfectionists too, and so we've made this t-shirt to celebrate the true geek's passion for perfection. Look at it; so simple but so true. "p-r-e-f-e-c-t-i-o-n-i-s-t" Wait, PREfectionist?.it's supposed to be PERfectionist. OH CARP! 100% cotton

When It Rains, It Pours... Don't we know it! The Internet is just dripping with packets and, occasionally, even packet loss! When you are a genius, you just have to be able to vent and purge, no matter what the medium or technology layer. Your choice of a baby blue toddler tee or creeper. A cloud (Internet on those boring network diagrams!) with the phrase 'I TCP/IP, but mostly IP' beneath. Still don't get it? Oh my...