Teenormous T-shirts

A Word of Valuable Advice from ThinkGeek We here at ThinkGeek have learned from our mistakes in the past. One of our own dearest coders was faced with a similar situation as presented on this t-shirt but did not have the benefit of our counsel and was sadly consumed whole. A tattered, fire-damaged and half-eaten Perl book is all that remains. The front reads "When you find yourself in the company of a halfling and an ill-tempered Dragon, remember, you do not have to outrun the Dragon..." and the back of the shirt reads "...you just have to outrun the halfling." The shirt itself is black, 100% cotton, and the text is written in a beige Olde English font. Various runes are watermarked behind the text, cloaked in grey...

And baby makes 11... Here's a little story... When a 010011010100111101001101 and 010001000100000101000100 love each other very much, sometimes they show how much they love each other by having 010100110100010101011000. (That one's a long story and if you need more info on that, you shouldn't be on this web site!) After about 1001 months, a 010010110100100101000100 comes out of the tummy of 010011010100111101001101. Then the 010011010100111101001101 and 010001000100000101000100 and their brand new 010010110100100101000100 live happily ever after... most of the time. 010101000100100001000101 010001010100111001000100 100% cotton, heavyweight t-shirt in light blue. "KID" printed on the front in dark blue binary.

Just in case you weren't sure... Just in case you were having trouble, we have a simple system to keep track of your offspring. It doesn't take a sophisticated version control system like CVS or Subversion to know who is the child and who is the parent, but our simple v1.0 and v2.0 t-shirts should help. Be sure to get the v2.0, shirt, too! 100% cotton heavyweight t-shirt in Blue Dusk. "v1.0" printed on the front in black, white, and red. The design is the same as on our "Version 2.0" shirt, but a little larger.

Work Is the Curse Of The Drinking Class... As seen on The IT Crowd! Don't you hate it when you are at the local computer shop talking to one of your friends about the subtle benefits of DDR memory when some ignoramus walks up to you and starts asking you which aisle the Internet is on? Or maybe he says something like, 'how do i watch the latest movies on my MP3 player?' If you didn't have this t-shirt, you would have to waste valuable breath telling this guy to bug off and find another hole to crawl in.. This shirt also works well when you are at the office playing Quake or Counterstrike instead of working on those TPS reports. Dunno what i'm even doing writing this little description here seeing as how I don't work here either. Oh Well. Heavyweight 100% cotton black t-shirt with phrase 'I don't work here' on the front and center.

It Is Good To Be The King... Slap this shirt on, and parade around the cube farm to display the depth of your powers. Then sit back and watch them tremble... Actually, this shirt makes us laugh (laugh as in funny ha ha), because it reminds us of the time when Jen accidently changed the root username on one of our ISP's production servers to just 'oot'. I'm afraid she'll never be able to live that one down. I guess we should have made a 'special edition' of this t-shirt with 'slap me senseless, for i am oot' instead just for Jen. Hehe. OK, enough JenTorture - you get the idea. Now get the shirt.

Disney Princesses Need Not Apply (unless we're talking about the extended remix with Mulan and Pocahontas) There are lots of stories about heroic knights rescuing princesses. In fact, some of our favorite epics follow that same trope: Star Wars, Zelda, The Princess Bride.... But sometimes you've got to mix it up a little. You don't feel like sitting around playing the damsel in distress, patiently waiting for some Y chromosome to come to your aid. In fact, you might have to rescue some poor, wayward princes on your quest, which is okay. As long as they don't get in the way. If you're reading this page, we're betting that you are that superheroine. But if you're not, we know you have one in your life. Your own personal Buffy, Lara Croft, Zoe, the wielder of The Witchblade, Xena, Kim Possible, Leela, Agent 355, Ripley, Wonder Woman, or (our favorite rolemodel for little girls) Elizabeth from The Paper Bag Princess. We could go on, but you get the idea. To paraphrase, geek girls ki

In The Near-Retro Future, Gravity Police Are Everywhere! When it comes to natural forces, ThinkGeek prefers magnetism. Why? It's quite simple. We can do stuff like levitate tops and totally pwn our friends. Our second favorite force would have to be Dominant Mind while playing Knights of the Old Republic in Evil mode. That brings us to our third favorite force, Gravity. Yep. And we prefer the Einsteinian model over the Newtonian, as should you. Thinking about building an anti-gravity device in the basement of the science building? Think again Mister Man! Make no attempts to defy gravity. You would be acting against the law. (see standard formula below!) Gravitational force = (G * m1 * m2) / (d2) You may still be underage, but don't give the Gravity Police a reason to knock on your door; do us a favor and always obey gravity. De-molecularization isn't pretty. 100% cotton, pre-shrunk, navy t-shirt with orange / white design with a retro-looking gravity cop (blowing his super sci-fi

Come to the Dark Side The Dark Side gets all the cool toys. You come to the Dark Side, we can guarantee you a cape. You wanna use your powers to get into the movie theater for free? Cool with us. We provide excellent theme music for sitting in time-out in the corner. Use the Force to topple someone else's stack of blocks or destroy their science fair projects. We won't tell. Plus, we offer the ultimate prize -- cookies! Bet you didn't know the Sith Lords were a veritable cadre of Iron Chefs in the kitchen. By harnessing the power of the Dark Side, they've made these cookies well-nigh irresistible. Can't you almost smell the scent of fresh-baked cookies, wafting through the airlock.... 100% cotton, pre-shrunk, black t-shirt declares "Come to the dark side, we have cookies. - V"

Insufficient... mem... umm... what? It's not just computers that have limited resources. When was the last time you had brain cells to spare? We don't know a single geek, code monkey, or computer jockey that can make that claim. So until science comes up with a way to install DIMMs in your hippocampus, you'll just have to wear this shirt and hope it relieves some of the stress on your noggin. 100% heavyweight cotton black tshirt with "INSUFFICIENT MEMORY" printed on the front in silver metallic ink.

#000000 is the New Black Black. It's simple. It's elegant. It goes with everything. This is why it looks good on your web page and also in your closet. We hear it's all the rage this season in Paris, and not just because it looks great. Functionally, black lends itself to working backstage on a set, skulking around in the shadows, or squeegeeing penguins after an oil spill. Our version is black on black -- the shiny black hexadecimal code for black emblazoned on a significantly less shiny (aka standard) 100% cotton t-shirt in a super-secret process we agreed to keep silent about. But we'll let you in on a little secret. Ninjas are really difficult to grind up.

I could see the squirrels... In today's corporate world, you often have to sign an agreement that says you don't even own your own thoughts while employed by said Evil Corporate Overlord. That makes even the littlest things at work count. For instance, listening to your music at a reasonable level while collating, receiving a piece of the obligatory birthday cake for the coworker nobody likes, and keeping your red Swingline stapler, even when they switch to the Boston stapler, because the Swingline doesn't bind up as much. Did you know the iconic red Swingline was fabricated as a prop for Office Space? Swingline didn't have a red model at the time. Our sister site Slashdot recorded the moment of joy when it finally came on the market in 2002. Of course, you can get one from us, but we created this shirt for those of you who want to carry your obsession with you but don't want to modify your tool / gadget belt to accommodate a stapler. 100% cotton heavyweight t-shirt claims dibs o

What is RTFM? RTFM is not having to say you are sorry. RTFM is a big chromatic dragon with bloodshot beady eyes and fangs the size of oars. RTFM is me screaming at you as fireballs come out of my mouth to get off your precious no-good tush, march down to the local bookstore or MAN page repository, and get the eff off my back because I'm trying very hard to get some freakin' work done. Jeez.

Regular Expression Junkie + Lover Of Literature... /(bb|[^b]{2})/ that is the Question: Whether 'tis Nobler in the minde to suffer The Slings and Arrowes of outragious Fortune, Or to take Armes against a Sea of troubles, And by opposing end them: to dye, to sleepe No more; and by a sleepe, to say we end The Heart-ake, and the thousand Naturall shockes That Flesh is heyre too? 'Tis a consummation... Heavyweight Olive t-shirt with light brown writing and the slightly modified Shakespeare quote - reg ex style - /(bb|[^b]{2})/ - zoom on in if you wanna

Shall We Play A Game Professor? Remember back in the day when there was no worldwide implementation of TCP/IP and the web, Galaga was #1 in the videogame scene, and a W.O.P.R. wasn't something you could get with or without the fixins? Despite the lack of readily available networking technology back in the early eighties, there were still those who had the skills to phreak and hack... Black tshirt with a flat map of the world in white. Red dotted trajectories interconnect all the continents, and the phrase 'The only winning move is not to play' is written in a glow-like, terminal-styled font beneath.

20 Years of Geek Cats We were pondering. What would happen if the geek cats of the mid-eighties meet the geek cats of today? And so, without further ado, we present to you the basic plot to ThunderCats as written in LOLCat: Da residents of Thundera sez, "Nooo! They be stealin mah home planet!!!" K. Not so much stealin as splodin. This scares ThunderKittehs. ThunderKittehs sez, "It can be evacuation tiem now?" Jaga da Wize sez, "srsly." Gets all da ThunderKittehs to leave in a ship. Da Mootants of Plun-Darr attack da ThunderKittehs. Do Not Want! Da ThunderKittehs wins but monorail gets derailed in process. Next stop: Third Earth. Third Earth long way off. Many Caturdays will pass before dey get dere. ThunderKittehs sez, "Oh noes!" Jaga puts ThunderKittehs in bukkits of suzpended animashun. In case you not know, Jaga is Serious Cat. Jaga's in ur ship steerin' for Third Earth. Before dey get dere, Jaga says, "kthxbye" and goes away (don't cry -- will return as Invisible Jaga later).

Someday, a Venn Diagram Might Save Your Life Math teachers are always repeating that "you're going to need to know this out in the real world" mantra. We'll be honest. We haven't ever needed to take the cosine of our lunch or find the limit of our commute as our car approaches home. But there were a few mathematical concepts that really stuck with us, and we use every chance we get. We should probably admit here that our favorite part of math was the drawing pictures part (geometry=good, algebra=bad). So when we encountered the Venn Diagram, we knew we had a friend for life. This Venn Diagram, in particular, has three very persuasive statements in its circles. The overlap areas are kind of weird. "I don't need to see the identification of the droids I'm not looking for?" But, you know, the more we look at it, the more we think that's okay, and we just want to move along. It's as if a powerful force is compelling us with some sort of mind trick. Or something. Moving along.... This

Come on, admit it. You're the smartest person you know. Of course you don't *actually* have to be a genius to wear this shirt. Little Johnny could have the IQ of a grapefruit and still have enough neurons to purchase this fine garment. Then, when Johnny's mom puts on the shirt for him, the world will come to think of him in a different light. Sure little Johnny might think an asymptote is a swear word, but, hey, read the shirt, he's with genius - so maybe it is. We might even go so far as to suggest wearing this shirt will make you smarter. Think about it. Just wearing this shirt may very well change the perception about your genius, and, in this day and age, frequently perceptions are more powerful than reality. See Y2K and the PSP for some recent examples. So, in a way, this shirt can actually change how smart you are by changing how smart other people, whether dumb or smart, think you are. Sheer genius! You can't lose! 100% cotton heavyweight black t-shirt with the phrase 'I'm

Happy joy! Here's a great new parody T-shirt created by Japanese illustrator Kenji Takahashi, featuring an ultra-cute image of a famous Japanese anime face. A super original T-shirt for you, recommended for all Totoro and Studio Ghibli fans! Sizes in stock are S through 2XL are available. Light blue 100% heavyweight cotton t-shirt.

Don't scare me like that! As seen in Forgetting Sarah Marshall! We challenge anybody who's plunked down the big bucks for a nice LCD monitor, TV or PSP not to cry out in terror if they see the dreaded dead pixel. It's a horror that we wouldn't want to experience, no matter how few there might be. We're shuddering just thinking about it. ugh... Black like a dead pixel, this shirt is 100% heavyweight cotton with "I see dead pixels" printed in white with a few randomly deceased pixels. Scary, ain't it?

Glow In The Dark Power Symbol ! Available In Longsleeves as well! You may not always notice it, but this is the International Symbol For Power. What kind of power? Usually the electron current variety. But, since most things in life have more than one meaning, go nuts! This can also be the International Symbol For Your Power Trip, or even your Power Bar. How about the International Symbol For Your Power In Bed? Get creative and become instantly more powerful with the ThinkGeek Power Symbol Tee! Get one of these shirts, get on a starship, and go out to the furthest accretion of 'empty space' (believe us, it's quite possible) and have a few martinis while you enjoy the glow of your own power. Now snap out of it and get back to studying for that calculus test before the rave on Saturday... Your Choice of short or long-sleeved black heavyweight shirts with the power symbol on the front printed in Glow In The Dark Ink. Get your rave on....

Always Working Backwards An elite brand of coder, the reverse engineer usually takes a finished product (generally compiled or in a proprietary format), and, through a variety of techniques, is able to understand the inner workings and to apply that understanding in a variety of ways. Why? Sometimes just for intellectual curiosity. Sometimes from boredom. And sometimes you need to convert a proprietary driver/format for one Operating System and port it to another. Jon recently did this to create a Linux driver for a small receipt printing machine we'll use @ LinuxWorld this year. (Ed. Note: When this was written, it was 2001.) Of course you don't have to limit the scope of the reverse engineer to formats and compiled code - you can also reverse engineer, say, a Snickers Bar, or even a sheep ;) Black, 100% cotton t-shirt with 'reverse engineer' printed in reverse on the front.

What Difference Can One Coder Make? No matter what our political leanings, we all want to make a difference in this world. And we can all agree that as a species, humans are pretty variable. But, since we're not globally defined, all we can really do is act within our local variable scope. And that's just as well, because global variables are crap. You don't want a lot of variables floating out there uncontrolled, cluttering up your namespace and making it possible for more and more code to grow dependent on their existence (and even worse, modify them). Then you end up with cascading side effects, and it's all downhill from there. So we're okay with the fact that we have local variable scope. Otherwise, our powers might overwhelm the planet. We hate it when that happens. The phrase "Think Globally." in large type and, in a smaller font beneath, "Act Within Local Variable Scope." are printed on an eco-friendly 100% certified organic cotton, 4.3 oz. green t-shirt. Note: Please ref

Just in case you weren't sure... Just in case you were having trouble, we have a simple system to keep track of your offspring. It doesn't take a sophisticated version control system like CVS or Subversion to know who is the child and who is the parent, but our simple v1.0 and v2.0 t-shirts should help. Be sure to get our v1.0 shirt, too! 100% cotton heavyweight t-shirt in Yellow. "v2.0" printed on the front in black, white, and red. The design is the same as on our "Version 1.0" shirt, but a little smaller. Note that the yellow on the youth sizes is brighter than that on the infant and toddler sizes.

Open shirt. Insert body. Sometimes simpler is better. No need for funny one-liners or obscure and geeky references here. Just a simple homage to the markup language that makes the web go 'round. Charcoal grey 100% cotton heavyweight t-shirt with printed on the front and on the back in white ink.