Teenormous T-shirts

Better brewing through chemistry We're going to bet that you are currently not drinking beer because you're at work, and unlike ThinkGeek World Domination HQ (which has a Beer Fairy), casual imbibing is frowned upon in your office. There, there. It's going to be okay. You know, we have job openings. Just sayin'. You know what makes us feel better? Learnin' stuff. So let's get to it. Despite what this shirt suggests, your beer should not contain either beryllium or erbium. If it does, you need to seriously consider switching to another brewer. Carlsberg Brewery was the location of Sren Sorensen's work on the pH scale. "Skunked" beer is more properly termed "light-struck." When UV light hits beer, it kicks off a chemical reaction, breaking down the isohumulones and creating 3-methyl-2-butene-1-thiol. It's an organosulfur compound, the same thing a skunk sprays. Good for scaring off predators. Bad for beer. Beryllium and Erbium printed with their atomic properties in white on a bee

Maybe We Need a Tech Support Group No matter how many times you break out the "No, I will not fix your computer" shirt, there are some people who just won't pay attention. They assume you're wearing that funny shirt for someone else. Those other people. The annoying ones. Any protestation will be wasted on these types. You ought to at least get credit for helping their sorry butts. This is what they see you as. Call them out for it. Also, on a less-cynical note, this would be a great shirt to wear to an event where you actually want and need to be identified as the Tech Support. Dual-purpose, if you will. The chest of this 100% cotton black shirt has a small logo made of a power symbol and a two-button mouse (chill out Appleaphiliacs) with a red plus symbol / cross thing and the words "Tech Support" in white. The back declares "STAFF Tech Support" also in white.

How is babby formed? Let's face it. Science makes everything better. Caffeine? Good. Caffeine + electrolytes + intravenous therapy = awesome. Diet Coke? Good. (Work with us here.) Diet Coke + Mentos + fluid dynamics = tasty asplosion. Static electricity? Good. (We did mention you were going to have to work with us, right?) Static electricity + mylar + Van de Graaff generator = hours of enjoyment. *clears throat* Love? Good. Love + science = new minion to assist in your quest to take over the world! Yay! Who wouldn't want that? This 100% combed ringspun cotton creeper features the words "Made with Love (and Science)" in yellow on deep turquoise fabric. Reinforced three-snap closure and lap-sleeves..

Right smart purchase, this t-shirt. We like Firefly. You like Firefly. This here's a Firefly all official-like t-shirt. If you were fixin' to buy yourself one of them Firefly shirts to fill out your wardrobe or that of one of your fine companions (in quotes or out, we're not particular), we'd appreciate it if you bought it from our fine stock here at ThinkGeek. Much obliged. The Firefly logo on a brown 100% cotton t-shirt.

Hissssss-ssssssss-ssssssss. Kaboom! ThinkGeek is your source for officially-licensed Minecraft gear. Retro-graphics. Simplistic gameplay. Minecraft takes gaming back to basics. Punching trees and rocks or digging tunnels, you slowly gather an arsenal of weapons and tools to fend off the spiders, skeletons, zombies, and exploding Creepers that are a constant threat. The exploding Creeper is our nemesis. We know you feel our pain. Sometimes it's fun to be the bad guy, though. Taking those dreams and shattering them. We recommend you wear this shirt around: Playing card structures Jenga tournaments The set of any OK Go video Black pixelated face on an Irish green 100% cotton t-shirt. Officially-licensed Minecraft gear. Note: The color of the infant, kids', and ladies' version of this match. The men's is a little different, but as close as we could get to the pixelated goodness of the Creeper. Please reference the table below to choose your size. XS S M Chest 26 in. 28 in. 31 in. Fr

Handle With Appropriate Precautions Technically urine, feces, saliva, sputum, nasal secretions, sweat, tears, and vomit don't qualify as biological waste unless they contain fluid blood or a known infectious pathogen. Try telling that to a first time parent changing a diaper, though. On the plus side, in terms of proper waste handling there's already disposable padding added for absorption, and the waste comes packaged in a leakproof (theoretically) container. Of course, you might be the cloth diapering type, in which case we recommend you set your at-home autoclave (the washing machine) to the sterilization cycle for at least 30 minutes. Biohazard symbol printed in black on a yellow 5 oz. 100% combed ringspun cotton. Short sleeves with lap shoulders. Reinforced three-snap closure.

Gravity + Curiosity + Tiny Hands + Expensive Gadget = New Paperweight Geeks. For the most part, we aren't the most coordinated group of individuals. Sure, in every ragtag crew of us hurtling through the universe, there's one River Tam, but then there's everyone else. And when two geeks love each other very much and create a new geek of their very own, that tiny geek tends to inherit some of Mom and Dad's genetic propensity for coordination or lack thereof. Our advice: don't let your geekling hold the fine china or carry your Optimus Maximus around the house as part of the parade. That's just asking for trouble. Black 100% cotton toddler tee proudly declares, "I am why we can't have nice things" in white. Note: Please reference the table below to choose a size. Size 2T 3T 4T Chest 24" 26" 28" 61cm 66cm 71cm Length 14" 15" 16" 36cm 38cm 41cm

Feel the Terrible Sting of... THE MONARCH! arch, to arch /ahrCH/ verb transitive to desire to cause harm, foil plans, and generally create aggression against targeted individuals or groups, used esp. with supervillains We love having this word in our vocabulary, and we credit The Venture Bros., specifically The Monarch, for putting it there. We go around "arching" people at work. The people who call stupid long meetings just because they can. The folks who leave their bowls in the sink to "soak" for three days. The individuals who use the last of the printer paper and don't refill it. Of course, this is totally unlicensed arching, since these people didn't explicitly apply for aggression, but we think they're askin' for it. Red Monarch insignia on a black, 100% cotton t-shirt. Officially-licensed Venture Bros. gear.

The Tenth Character Sure, to some it might be a flying piece of go se, but to a handful of folks it's home. And sure, the Series 4 is out, but who needs it? You wait until the 4 comes out, that's when you get a great deal on the Series 3. None of that depreciation when you fly it off the lot. What's the 4 got anyhow? Twice the space for crew? If you ain't using all the berths in a 3, you don't need that. A hydroponics garden? Oooh. Fancy. We get our strawberries by other means, pal. And twice the range? If you need twice the range, you ain't arranging your smuggling proper-like. That's all I gotta say about that. Serenity specs in white on a black, 100% cotton t-shirt.

There's a Spaniard giving us some trouble. Inigo: I don't mean to pry, but you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand? Man in Black: Do you always begin conversations this way? It's appropriate that this design would be a parody of Shepard Fairey's iconic Hope design since hope is one of the few things Inigo has. Count Rugen robs him of his father, his sword, and the next 20 years of his life, which he dedicates to studying swordplay so that he can get back at the man. So maybe it's not so much "hope" he has as "vengeance." In this particular case, they're much the same thing. Oversized, stylized, blue and red print of Inigo with the words "PREPARE To Die" on the bottom on an ice grey, 100% cotton t-shirt.

Let's Go Out to the Lobby This t-shirt is sneaky. It looks like a well-loved classic shirt from yesteryear, but it's really brand new. Dear people younger than us: if you want to fake having been a Star Wars fan ever since the movies came out, this t-shirt could possibly give you the +5 to Bluff necessary to do it. Of course, that's only if you're not trying to bluff people like us who have been fans since we saw it in all its glory on the big screen, Pop Rocks in one fist, and the other hand firmly clutching the seat, possibly stuck there by someone else's Hubba Bubba. Ah, good times. Good times. Who's up for Galaxian after the movie gets out? Scenes from The Empire Strikes Back in navy with yellow, salmon, and azure blue accents on a heather grey t-shirt. The fabric is 60% Cotton 25% Polyester 15% Rayon, which gives it a soft feel. Note that this is a slightly distressed print, which means it is intentionally aged. The fabric is clearly visible through the ink. This shirt is s

xkcd Goodies - Compiling Based on xkcd's Compiling comic, this shirt increases your programming and swordfighting skills to 18. Note: The first decoration the Code Monkeys + our token BOFH undertook when we got to the new office was to abscond with the projector, blow this comic up huge on a piece of foam core, and take some markers to it. And a fine job they did, indeed, while their code was compiling. "I'm not slacking off. My code's compiling." on the front with office swordfighting on the back in white on a black 100% t-shirt.

xkcd Goodies: Sudo This is the shirt of xkcd's Comic #149, which is so far the most widely-distributed comic xkcd's ever done. It was spotted on the walls at Amazon headquarters and on some of the bigger blags. And now, as per your many email requests, here it is on a shirt! "Make me a sandwich." "What? Make it yourself." "Sudo. Make me a sandwich." "Okay." conversation on in white on a black, 100% cotton t-shirt.

Somebody Flag Him Down Doctor Who fans know that the Doctor's TARDIS is stuck as a police box due to a faulty chameleon circuit. What you may not know is that back in the day on Gallifrey, the Time Lords had a sport that was similar to NASCAR (they did involve "turn left, turn left" but in a way we can't really grok as mere humans). They involved whipping about time and space, checking in at various points with race officials of various civilizations and waving at the cheering fans during the pit stops before quickly vworping to the next checkpoint. So the next time you wonder why the Doctor has so many of those turbulent moments in the TARDIS, remember that in his youth, he was a star on the TARDIS NASCAR circuit. A white line-art version of the TARDIS with the modern Doctor Who logo above it on a navy, 100% cotton t-shirt.

Please Leave Quietly Ed in Crouch End, London: unlocked the 'Local' badge. Shaun in Crouch End, London: unlocked the 'Local' badge. Liz in Crouch End, London: failed to unlock the '<font color="#2398c9"Foodie' badge. <font color="#2398c9"Snakehips in Crouch End, London: unlocked the '<font color="#2398c9"Player Please!' badge. <font color="#2398c9"Various Zombies in London: unlocked the '<font color="#2398c9"Swarm' badge. <font color="#2398c9"Shaun in Crouch End, London: wrote a tip @ <font color="#2398c9"Winchester Tavern: Aim for the head. <font color="#2398c9"Shaun in Crouch End, London: became the mayor of <font color="#2398c9"Winchester Tavern. The Winchester Tavern's coat of arms above the words "Winchester Tavern Crouch End, London" on a military green 100% cotton t-shirt.

Zombey the Bear says... We live in dangerous times. There are all sorts of dangers - biological, chemical, social. If one stupid human makes one stupid mistake, we could have the apocalypse on our hands in mere days. If you miss the signs, if you have your head in the sand, if you just can't bring yourself to shoot Grandma when she's clearly infected with the virus, then YOU have caused the modern day forest fire that is the zombie apocalypse. Be prepared, zombie watchers. The time will come and you will be responsible for saving or damning the world. Zombey the bear admonishes "Only you can prevent the zombie apocalypse" on a 100% cotton, cedar t-shirt.

xkcd Goodies - Linux Cheat Shirt This is a shirt with a Linux cheat sheet printed upside-down, so you can glance down at it while hacking. Aimed at the non-guru, it's mainly an overview of useful programs and in some cases handy arguments, and includes a guide to regular expressions. We recommend wearing this to any Linux job interview that involves a test. You can check out how observant they are, and also what their sense of humor is like. We also recommend bringing a change of clothes, in case they make you take it off. Assorted Linux commands in white on a black 100% cotton t-shirt.

Beware the Weeping Angels A ThinkGeek exclusive! "The angels have the phone box." That's my favorite. I've got that on a t-shirt!-Larry Nightingale, "Blink" As soon as we watched this episode, we knew we had a unique responsibility. Our customers recognized it, too. You guys wrote in asking where this shirt was, because you somehow knew it was ours. So we talked to our friends at one of our vendors who has the Doctor Who license and told them we needed this shirt. They gave us a few versions, and finally we got to this one and said, "That's it! Print it! Hurry!" Cause we have something we have to do. *stuffs men's t-shirt into an manila envelope, writes "For Larry Nightingale" on the outside of the envelope* Can anybody point me to the 2006 weeping angel? "The Angels Have the Phone Box" with a picture of the TARDIS on the front of this black, 100% cotton t-shirt. The back features a small version of the current Doctor Who logo.

"And the rest, after a sudden wet thud, was silence." - Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Birth is probably traumatic on a little brain. You've been hanging out in this warm, wet environment for 9 months, and all of a sudden there are bright lights and loud noises. However, we think it was probably a little more traumatic for the whale and the bowl of petunias. When you come into the world at something like 35000 ft., it's not likely to end well. (Unless there's an airplane and a doctor also involved.) At least our favorite fail whale died happily. He never knew what hit him. *rimshot* This stone blue, 100% cotton t-shirt features the ground at its bottom and, amongst fluffy, happy clouds, a falling sperm whale on the chest with the thought bubble, "I wonder if it will be friends with me?"

Even Younger Justice Sure, your kids are super, but are they Super? In case you need help (which we know you don't... this is here for the OTHER people), we've put together a little guide of characteristics which might be indicative of which superhero your little one is leaning toward: Batman: Plays with your cell phone, the remote, any gadget. Highly active at night. The Flash: Takes off as soon as he or she hits the floor, crawling with incredible speed. Green Lantern: Throws a lot of temper tantrums. An early sign of Indomitable Will. Superman: Pulls him or herself over tall crib dropsides in a single tumble. Wonder Woman: Holds discussions with stuffed animals. Can fend off diaper changes with wrist action. If you can't be sure at this early stage, go with the JLA blocks creeper. Why learn your ABCs when you could learn your JLAs? Gotta get their priorities right from the start. Snap bottom closure for easy diaper access. Note that our size on this is the larger of the span,

Just don't touch anything else. You know what prompted this shirt. One too many incredulous "What are you still doing here?" (emphasis on word of choice, all equally annoying) from the boss. Here's the mental conversation you get to have at that moment: "Oh wait. I know what I'm still doing here. I'm fixing the stuff you so graciously broke earlier today." Unfortunately, you mumble your actual response or couch it in technical jargon that's beyond the INT of those who ask this question so that they cannot not comprehend that it is because of them that you are still here. When you're sick of that, you're ready for this shirt. Generally the phrase "Well, you'd better go home soon!" can put us right over that edge. We recommend you keep this shirt at your desk to change into at 2 a.m. so that when your coworkers start showing up at 8, you're wearing a different, fresh (and yet entirely applicable) shirt. "I'm here because you broke something." in white on a black, 100% cotton t-shi

Official Paul and Storm Gear! So you say you want to be a rock star, but your musicianship, charisma, attractiveness, fashion sense, and party-ability XP are all measured as negative integers? No problem - it's never stopped Paul and Storm! And with their classic "cover band joke" shirt, you too can meta-clever your way straight to the top. The process is simple: 1) Take any random phrase; 2) Insert a band that said phrase bears some relation to; 3) Profit!* And the best part is, the washable marker lets you create new cover bands every time you wear the shirt. It even comes off with a wet paper towel for sudden, mid-day inspirations. (Sudden Mid-Day Inspirations is the name of our Divinyls cover band. See? Easy!) Black, 100% cotton t-shirt comes pre-packaged with its own write-on, wash-off marker. Note: The monkeys in ThinkGeek's extensive Product Testing Laboratories (the monkeys are the testers not the testees) discovered that the marker will wash off in hot or cold water. Th

These Building Blocks Have Only 4 Letters So every baby is the creation of two humans, but more importantly, every baby is the result of the transcription of a series of amino acids in a very specific order. One letter wrong and everything's different. Well, maybe not everything. Could be in an intron or something. But basically, this is one of those spelling bees you don't want to lose. That's why there's redundancy built in. Of course, alternate spelling isn't all bad. Mutation is what it's all about in evolution. We're all mutants. If we weren't we wouldn't be here today. "Brought to you by the letters G, C, A, T and the number 23" printed in light blue on a 100% ring-spun, combed cotton onesie in white. Lap shoulders and snap bottom closure for easy access to infant.

(Proof)Reading is Fundamental We don't have to tell you this. You know better. But we have to vent. If you're going to have something permanently inked on your body, please proofread it first. And if you don't know the language it's written in, don't get the tattoo. If you have to get the tattoo in a language you don't fully comprehend, get someone you trust who has mastered the language to proofread it for you. And then, this is important, make sure your tattoo artist also knows the language. One misinterpreted stroke can totally change what your body says for the rest of your life. So this is our tribute to all those frat boys who have incorrect Japanese or Chinese or Klingon permanently inked on their bodies. We thank you for providing us with amusement. A tattoo-style koi fish with the Japanese テキトーな日本語です, which means "Random Japanese Characters / Words / Language Bits" (pronounced "tekito-o na nihongo desu") in a mix of Kanji, Katakana, and Hiragana, tra