Teenormous T-shirts

I don't always wear a tie, but when I do, it's got circuits on it. Perhaps you have a job that requires that you dress up? You've heard the rationale before - "We might have a client coming through, and we want to give them a good impression!" or "the boss is one of those really conservative guys," or "shut up and get back to work." Then again, maybe you wear a tie because you actually like it. Don't scoff! There are a few geeks out there that like to look slick, polished and well put-together. They are rare, but they are proud, fastidious and picky about their dress. Still, at their core, they're geeks, and would love to wear a Star Wars tie, or one shaped like the great sandworm Shai Hulud. Generally speaking, you can't get away with cool geeky ties like those. So your tie selection must either be boring, or they have to be subtle in their geekiness. Behold the circuit-board tie! The subtle motherboard circuit pattern screened in metallic silver and copper onto this necktie lo

Somebody's Got To So you have this new thing to build. The project manager wants it on time. The program manager wants it under budget. The IT architect wants it without modifying the existing infrastructure. The documentation person wants it without too many tweaks to the current help screens. And you. You know how you want it? You want it so that the people it's intended for can use it effectively and efficiently to achieve whatever end they're after. You with your CRAZY aspirations. You'll be the death of us all. (Also, thank you thank you thank you for having our best experience in mind even when we don't know what that might be.) A vector-ized fist with the words "I fight for the users" in a turquoise blue on a black, 100% cotton t-shirt.

Hate You Can Trust *cue cheesy 50s documentary voice* Congratulations on your test results and welcome to the Guild of Calamitous Intent! You'll find many other like-minded villains here who understand the necessity of regulated henching in today's modern society. When you pick up your handbook, be sure to stop by the merchandise table for spectacular t-shirts that advertise your new part in our secret society. Inside the handbook you will find guidance related to the appropriate wearing of said t-shirt. Note that the Raiment Identification Referendum of 1992 states that a guild member in good standing should not wear said t-shirt outside his or her compound where he or she might be recognized, except to official Guild functions. Petitions may be made directly to The Sovereign for laundry day. Red Guild of Calamitous Intent insignia on a black, 100% cotton t-shirt. Officially-licensed Venture Bros. gear.

The Latest from Sir Fix-a-Lot I like big bots, and I cannot lie I got the model from Bandai That when my girl weighs in and she says that it's a waste And my credit card she will trace I get stung We were going to write more, but that's where we stopped, because it started going in to something about Bumblebee, and nobody wants that. This shirt contains images of 6 famous oversized robots and the year of their screen debut on a blue dusk, 100% cotton shirt. Spoiler alert! Need help identifying the source of the bots? (Drag your mouse across the below to highlight the text.) 1972 - Mazinger Z 1979 - Gundam 1984 - Voltron 1984 - Transformers 1985 - Macross 1999 - Iron Giant

Always let the fuzzy brown guy win. Domo-kun is my copilot, and I dont think my scruffy, Nerf-loving self can handle it for much longer. Sure, hes fuzzy and adorable. But he also eats everything in sight. On our trips, Ive had to survive on apples alone. Then, whenever were in a tough spot -- under fire!! -- he passes gas. Do you know how hard it is to fly this hunk of junk when the cockpit is full of methane? And I wont even get started on how hard it is to understand him. Everything he says is a variation on "rawr." Officially-licensed Domo sports a bandolier on this dark heather, 90% cotton / 10% polyester t-shirt.

They won't give us the port number. One does not simply Telnet into Mordor. Really, you should SSH in if you don't want the Nazgul watching your every move. No, okay. You can't SSH in either. You can't use any of the other app layer client-server protocols. Trust us. We tried. So much for using a remote shell to reboot the Eye of Sauron. Man, I hope the eyeball server team picks up their on-call phone, cause I do not want to walk there. Wait. What? Why not? "One does not simply Telnet into Mordor." in white ink on a black, 100% cotton t-shirt.

Totally pwn3d! When you're really close to certain people, sometimes it's hard to come up with an objective observation of them. We here at ThinkGeek World Domination HQ have put together this handy little checklist of ways you can tell if your baby might be a n00b: Camping out near the spawn point. Screaming unintelligibly. Crying when he/she doesn't get his/her way. Incoherent button mashing. This 100% combed ringspun cotton creeper features the word "n00b" in white on black fabric. Reinforced three-snap closure and lap-sleeves.

Screeeeeonk! *massive guitar riff on a massive guitar* Sure, you caught him on tour in 1998, who didn't? But were you there in 1964 when Astro-Monster opened for him? Now THAT was total destruction. This shirt celebrates the crazy unscheduled demolition that is the center of the Godzilla mythos. The back features a list of places that Godzilla has already visited and destroyed, including Tokyo, Osaka, Planet X, New York, Monster Island, Okinawa, Nagoya, Hong Kong, Yokohama, and Devils Island. We don't know who he thinks he is, but the hotel is totally going to send him a bill for that. An image of the big guy himself graces the front of this black, 100% cotton t-shirt, with his name above in green and "World Destruction Tour" beneath.

Does Go Go Godzilla have the boots? With a purposeful grimace and a terrible sound He pulls the spitting high tension wires down Helpless people on subway trains Scream bug-eyed as he looks in on them He picks up a bus and he throws it back down As he wades through the buildings toward the center of town Oh no, they say he's got to go Go go Godzilla! Oh no, there goes Tokyo Go go Godzilla! - Blue yster Cult Yeah. That'll just about do it. I [Godzilla figure in red] Tokyo printed in white on a black, 100% cotton t-shirt.

The Bon Temps are gonna roll right over you! Geeks and sports don't generally mix.* There are always exceptions. But generally sporting events bring back bad memories of P.E. classes: broken glasses, stupid uniforms, and getting picked last. Look, when they work blernsball, quidditch, or zero-g football (Jim Bexley Speed FTW!) in to the gym curriculum, call us. Until then, we'll be here on the sideline, getting a fierce sunburn. That's what makes this shirt so great, because when you're having "Spirit Day," everybody else can be wearing a shirt with their Favorite Local Team on it, and you can be wearing this one. We suspect you'll get questions about it, which works for both the extroverts and the introverts. The extroverts can rant fondly about True Blood; the introverts can quickly sort out which humans aren't worthy. Bon Temps Football logo on a heather grey, 90% cotton / 10% polyester t-shirt. * Dear sports-fanatic customers: please don't beat us up. We know you exist, and

Just Add Photons Everybody likes photosynthesis. It's hard not to if you breathe. When we saw the new UV-sensitive ink, we knew what we had to use it for. Plus, printing the formula for photosynthesis on a shirt that reacts to sunlight is our super sneaky way of getting more Vitamin D into our customers. Here's how the shirt reads: 6CO2 + 6H2O + photons -> C6H12O6 + 6O2 Leaves and roots grow out of the formula when the shirt is exposed to UV light. The leaves and roots are visible but very faint indoors. The whole glorious mess is printed on an eco-friendly 100% certified organic cotton, 4.3 oz. natural (off-white) t-shirt. For maximum life of the design, machine wash cold, inside out. Do not iron. Note: Please reference the table below to choose your size. S M L XL 2X 3X Chest 36 in. 39 in. 43 in. 47 in. 51 in. 55 in.

Fetchez la vache! This shirt is dedicated to all the holy grail fans who enjoy using their potential methane emissions as a threat. You know who you are. We know you're out there because we have brothers and dads that sat on us and gas-saulted our sensitive noses. Our hamster mothers just looked the other way, too. And let's put it nicely - it didn't smell of elderberries. "I fart in your general direction" printed toward the bottom on THE BACK of a black 100% cotton t-shirt. It's kind of a distressed font and not so big, because you really want your victims to have to lean in to read it. *sniggers*

Pretty cunning, dontcha think? We don't know what position 28 held for the Fighting Elves, but he or she was good. Heck, we don't even know what sport we're talking about. But it IS Jayne wearing the shirt, so we think it's safe to assume it's some sport where blood is shed. Rugby? Roller Derby? Full-Contact Zero-G Parcheesi? All we know is that the Fighting Elves' number 28 kicked some serious tookus. Jayne wears this design in "Safe," "Out of Gas," and "War Stories." The Chinese at the top translates to "Fighting Elves." The number 28 in a white circle is beneath with flames on this burnt orange, 100% cotton t-shirt. Officially-licensed Firefly gear.

Solid Rocket Booster Seat Kids. Where DO they get all that energy from? Even if you keep them off of sugar and caffeine they can be bouncing off the walls one minute and dead to the world the next. We think it's a fuel supply issue. A jetpack that a toddler could heft probably couldn't have that much liquid propellant in it. So they burn it all off and then are suddenly down for the count. Just be glad they don't have a backup supply. Black 100% cotton toddler tee has a jetpack printed on the back. Note: Please reference the table below to choose a size. Size 2T 3T 4T 6 Chest 24" 26" 28" 30" Length 14" 15" 16" 18 1/2"

V = IRresistable So we're carrying this awesome jewelry set because T-Shirt Girl got a set of the earrings from a friend for her birthday, and she loves loves loves them. They're very tactile; playing with them is addictive. And it doesn't hurt that they're gorgeous. At first they look like a standard waterfall of purple beads. People have to look to figure out what they are, and then you get a giggle or a "cool" out of the clever people and a querulous look from the sorts of folks who don't shop at our site. It's an easy way to sort out the sort of people you want to hang out with. 24 purple 1/4 watt resistors dangle from the pendant and also from each fishhook-style earwire. The pendant comes with an 18" black silicone cord with a funky silicone clasp. The earrings dangle about 1.5". The set comes packaged in an anti-static bag. Note: Your band identification may vary from the one in the picture, but the resistors will always remain purple.

"Did I just use 'bacon' as a verb? Maybe." We are proud to present to you the conjugation of the verb "to bacon" in the present tense. *clears throat* SINGULAR PLURAL I bacon. We bacon. You bacon. You bacon. He/she/it bacons. They bacon. The beauty of the verb "bacon" is its plasticity of meaning. It could mean "love;" it could mean "eat." The only restriction is that any sentence in which it is involved must have something to do with tastiness. The Word Police told us so. "I [image of bacon] Delicious Meats" printed in bacon-y shades of red on a Vegas gold 100% cotton t-shirt. Yeah. We don't know about that Vegas gold thing either. But, you know, hey. Bacon.

ABNORMAL - DO NOT USE Welcome to the Brain Depository web site. This site provides firms and individuals with a variety of information about our services. The Brain Depository offers a variety of insured depository storage and reporting arrangements to meet the wide range of operational needs of its customers. Our climate-controlled facility provides a strictly regulated neuron preservation environment, precise inventory-tracking controls, efficient online retrieval ordering, and dependable overnight delivery of materials requested from storage. We work closely with hospitals and mortuaries to provide all our customers, from mad scientists to zombies, the quality materials they need. The Brain Depository eliminates eliminates the need to contact each provider directly, saving time, reducing freight costs, and simplifying purchasing procedures. Grey matters. The Brain Depository understands. Brain in a jar with the label "Abby Normal Organ Donor" on a sand-colored 100% cotton t-s

Alien Abduction FTW Generally alien abduction does not go well. The word "probe" tends to be associated with it, which is undesirable as either a noun or a verb. However, there is one memorable exception when you want to be abducted by the mothership: Galaga. You let the Boss come down and hit the tractor beam (beeeeeeeeewwwwwww), and then later when you kill the Boss, you get TWO fighters at your command, which is really useful in the Challenging Stages. Instead of pew pew pew, it's pewpew pewpew pewpew. Original Galaga logo on a brown 100% cotton t-shirt. Note: the print is distressed and the fabric is extra soft for a vintage feel.

Marvel employment is rough. With the economy how it is, it can be difficult to find work, even with a super skill set. We've put together a friendly little list of places to avoid applying to, no matter how desperate you become: A.I.M. (Advanced Idea Mechanics). If you're going to be a terrorist, you shouldn't have to wear a uniform. A yellow uniform. Who looks good in yellow? Besides Wolverine. And The Bride. HYDRA. Fascism. And again with the bad uniforms. It's a good thing when a company wants to keep you; it's a bad thing when they do it via death-oath. The Sons of the Serpent. Perpetrators of hate-crimes. All around scumbags. Do you really want to be seen with them? Yeah. We didn't think so. Hexus. It'd be your last exposure to extreme corporate branding. Great experience, and you'd love it while you work there. But you can't really put it on a resume, cause there isn't any next job. Roxxon Energy Corporation, a wholly-owned subsidiary of Kronas Corporation. BP blamed a fau

The Highbrow Version of "Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire" When a handful of us got this suggestion through the Bounty Program, we all giggled. We took it to a group meeting. Everybody there giggled, too. And then we had the natural progression of turning our collective thoughts to that Mythbusters episode about the exploding pants. The idea they were testing was whether a story from New Zealand in the 1930s about farmers' pants combusting was possible. And, indeed, they confirmed it with a liberal application of the herbicide sodium chlorate. So if you encounter a liar you should douse them with sodium chlorate so you can then say, "Teller of untruths, teller of untruths, your pants have combusted!" Be sure to say it quickly, though, because the burn is pretty rapid. You wouldn't want them missing out. Note: ThinkGeek does not endorse fiddling with sodium chlorate (methemoglobinemia FTL), let alone throwing it on someone else and/or setting him or her on fire. Unless absolutely necess

Breaking News A Miami resident is facing possible charges after authorities reported finding suspicious materials during a search of his property. Miami Metro police officers executed a search warrant Thursday at the home after being alerted to potentially hazardous substances on the premises by an air-conditioning repairman. Staff in the Internal Affairs division have confirmed that investigators executed the warrant at the residence of a blood spatter analyst for the Miami Metro Police Department, but they provided few other details. Eyewitnesses report officers left the premises with a small wooden box. The suspect was released on his own recognizance. Miami Metro blood spatter reference chart in white and red on an olive green, 100% cotton t-shirt.

xkcd Goodies: Regular Expressions Shirt This is the much-requested shirt based on xkcd's Comic #208. It warns everyone that you are not to be trifled with, that you have the situation well in hand, and that you can fix everything with a long jumble of indecipherable characters. (The expression on the front between the slashes is restrictive, but don't be greedy*?) On the back there is a hacker hero swinging in to save the day. "/ Everybody stand back / I know regular expressions" on the front with a coding hero swinging in to save the day on the back of a black 100% cotton t-shirt.

orly. Theoretically, text-speak is supposed to save you time. But no T9 Prediction engine is going to take "srsly" as a word. Ours gives us Spr? before it chokes. "Wait!" we can hear its little SIM-card brain screaming. "Only one of those things can possibly be a vowel, and then only sometimes! Plus, it's at the END of the word." Your phone totally hates you a little bit now. Sure, you can turn Prediction off, but who wants to hit the 7 key four times every time you need to make something plural? Saving time: that's not helping. "srsly?" in white ink on a black 100% cotton t-shirt. That's it. srsly.

One union to bring them all and in the darkness bind them (and collect dues). It's rough being a weapons maker in the world created by Tolkien no matter where you set up shop, from Rivendell to Isengard. Customers are always asking for returning arrows, which, if you're any good at, mean you'll never see that customer again. And they're all interested in the latest thing, orc-powered blades. You know like solar power, only with orcs? The technology behind that blue glow is complicated. And the Elves. The Elves. Returning their swords broken. Look, now, that's guaranteed in normal battle, but it's not insured against dead Elf guy falling on it. Am I right? This is just the sort of thing that's why it's important to join a union. You have to have somebody who will stand up for your rights. Somebody to set standards and groundwork. For instance, how many feet is the farthest distance the Athelas emergency shower should be from the forge? Are shoes required on Hobbits, and what's th