Teenormous T-shirts

For the gamer who just can't stop. Sometimes when you're in the middle of a raid, hitting pause just won't cut it. Just ask Leeroy Jenkins what happens when you go get something to eat. At least you have chicken, but you've also managed to achieve total party kill. So bring the necessities with you. Soda. Onion rings. Chips and salsa. And a Twinkie for dessert. This contraption seems like the sort of thing our GeekLabs team would put together. We'll ask them to get on that. Right after Shirt Plate becomes a reality. This is an authentic Glennz t-shirt, full of New Zealand-y goodness. Printed on a royal blue, 100% fine jersey cotton t-shirt, this design features a TV-tray gaming controller hybrid. It's printed on American Apparel, which fits differently than most of ThinkGeek's shirts, so be sure to check the Sizing Info tab to ensure you select the right size.

Later. Right now let's play Global Thermonuclear War. What's the tie between artificial intelligence and chess? As far back as the late 1700s inventors were trying to impress their audiences with automated chess players (automatons with a hidden human doing the chess playing, only they didn't tell the audiences that). In the 1940s, Alan Turing wrote out the directions for building a theoretical chess program, breaking the game down into computable parts. But why chess? What makes it different than, say, tic-tac-toe? Computers are great at tactical thinking; 1s and 0s lend themselves to that. Programming strategic thinking is more complicated, but possible. After all, Joshua figured out that the only winning move was not to play. Chess is special for a couple of reasons. It's something that everyone can theoretically play, but only the cleverest can win. The Grand Masters seem to have a grasp of all the calculations necessary to predict outcome, but also some ineffable quality th

Does Home Depot Mix Primer to Match Electric Mucus? As you are undoubtedly aware, this shirt features the layout for the second Planet Express ship, since the original was lost on a mission to collect space honey, Zombie Jesus rest its soul, which, since it probably involved an autopilot, is presumably in Robot Hell. This shows the ship's skeleton, including its tripodal landing gear and dark matter engines. A list of specifications provides additional details, such as the manual transmission and the maximum speed (97% the new speed of light, established in 2208). Click on the design above to zoom and see all the details. The schematics for the Planet Express in white on a royal blue, 100% cotton shirt.

Sleep Like a Baby You know what we miss most about being a child? It's not the freedom from responsibility. It's not the ability to bounce back from nearly any physical injury without hurting the next day. Nope. It's the naptime and cookies. Wait. What you're telling me is that I have to curl up here on the floor and do nothing? And that when I get up there will magically be cookies? I am totally down for this. Where do I sign up? Oh wait. Right. I can't write yet. We'll work that out later. For now can I just do some crayon scrawl near the dotted line? Thanks, man. I owe you one. "There's a nap for that" printed in grey on a white, 5 oz., 100% combed ringspun cotton creeper. Short sleeves with lap shoulders. Reinforced three-snap closure.

Built for Comfort and Speed The perfect camp shirt just makes you feel more relaxed while wearing it. Casual Friday isn't exactly kicking back on the beach with the latest sci-fi paperback and a margarita ("and I said no salt"), but when we get a draft off the cool breeze from the server closet, we can dream. This shirt makes us feel that much closer to toes in the sand. This work shirt features three pockets (one chest with magnetic closure, two side-seam) with SeV's tested weight management system, which keeps it from looking like you're carrying your work with you. It also has the Personal Area Network (PAN) system of holes and conduits so that your headphones stay right where you need them, untangled and not on display. The modal/polyester blend is sand-washed for extra softness. Machine washable. Note: Please reference the table below to choose your size. These are the measurements of the person wearing the shirt, not the shirt itself. S M L XL XXL Chest 36 in. 40 in. 44 in

There Can Be Only One If you've gotten this far, you're likely already up on all this, but just in case you're looking at this shirt "for a friend," here's quick a refresher courtesy of Dumbledore: "The odd thing is, Harry," he said softly, "that it may not have meant you at all. Sibyll's prophecy could have applied to two wizard boys, both born at the end of July that year, both of whom had parents in the Order of the Phoenix, both sets of parents having narrowly escaped Voldemort three times. One, of course, was you. The other was Neville Longbottom."- Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix This shirt is for those who believe that Voldemort should have marked the other one. "Team Neville" printed in white on a black, 100% cotton t-shirt. Absolutely zero sparkling involved.

"Sometimes I just hate it when I'm right." If you're making a shirt that's a tribute to MacGyver's inventiveness you have a lot of options on objects to include. We chose to put the Swiss Army knife, a roll of duct tape, a paper clip, and a pack of gum, which together represent a total of 33 jams MacGyver gets himself out of in 23 different episodes. Some other frontrunners: hoses (air or water) and light bulbs. Who knew? MacGyver Coat of Arms on a cardinal red, 100% cotton t-shirt. Includes a helm with the requisite mullet, a Swiss Army style knife (scissors, corkscrew, knife, screwdriver), a roll of duct tape, a paper clip, and gum. Oh, and a lit fuse, so move quickly.

Zen and the Art of Server Farm Maintenance The best thing about being a geek is that we have our own little worlds. (And they know us there.) We can get so absorbed in something that the physical world all around us doesn't exist until freaking gravity has to comes along to remind us. This shirt is for the folks who are in that world, zoning out, whether to code or a good game or research or whatever. A blue figure clad in yellow robes with a monitor which displays "HELLO WORLD" for a head is surrounded by a mandala design containing caffeine, a 20-sided die, Pi, a sword and shield, a D-pad, a Bohr-model atom, Saturn (or some other ringed planet), a power symbol, and a brain on an indigo blue, 100% cotton t-shirt.

Just looking at it makes us feel more centered. The word "Serenity" gets spelled one way in Firefly and a different way in Serenity itself. But if you're our customer and you're looking at this shirt, you probably already knew that. This is the movie version, the one that probably most mere mortals are more familiar with since it ended up as part of the movie logo. That way, hopefully, you don't have to spend your time arguing with mere mortals, cause you have better things to do. Like adding captions to cats. Speaking of which, I believe Chemistry Cat is calling.... Serenity in Hanzi on the front of this black, 100% cotton t-shirt. Tiny Firefly on the back beneath the collar.

Please Insert Girder Sure the Three Laws of Robotics are good for humans... but our favorite outlaw robot doesn't live by the rules. (Plus, Mom's Friendly Robot Company probably left that bit out of their bending units' programming as a cost-saving measure.) He's less likely to obey orders given by a human than to tell that same human to bite his shiny metal ass. And, occasionally, he has to kill all humans. Bender's Face on on an ice grey, 100% cotton t-shirt. You could probably pull this over your head and pretend you're Bender, but you may end up with people trying to get beers out of your now-exposed beer gut. You've been warned.

We know you're awesome. Shouldn't everyone else? You would think this would have been the quickest shirt from idea to warehouse. We obviously already had the art. It's on the side of almost every package that leaves our warehouse. We know the colors; it's black ink on a cardboard box. But, believe it or not, "cardboard box" isn't really a color that garment manufacturers make. There were lots of chestnuts and tans and chocolates and mochas and espressos (maybe t-shirt girl shouldn't write copy while she's hungry...). There was no cardboard to be found. We'd find a color that worked for the men, but then we couldn't get it for ladies or kids. Or vice versa. Finally, our screenprinter said, "You know what? How about if we custom dye y'all some shirts to match your boxes." Sent them a package from our warehouse full of caffeinated brownies, and, the next thing we knew, we had a set of shirts that's a dead-ringer for our boxes. That's a long way of saying, "here's a shirt." Timmy's

A Shirt for Relaxing, Superhero-Style Tie-dye. It's family picnics. It's long summer days spent in the hammock with a good book. It's running through sprinklers and catching fireflies and churning ice cream. Tie-dye makes us happy. So imagine how happy we were when we discovered this shirt. There are tie-dyed shirts for most of the popular superheroes, but we've never seen one that we've really taken to before. This one's subtle and the dye pattern really works with Spidey's costume's design. Blue and red tie-dyed 100% cotton t-shirt with Spider-Man insignia and webbing on front. The back is also tie-dyed but not printed.

We know you're awesome. Shouldn't everyone else? You would think this would have been the quickest shirt from idea to warehouse. We obviously already had the art. It's on the side of almost every package that leaves our warehouse. We know the colors; it's black ink on a cardboard box. But, believe it or not, "cardboard box" isn't really a color that garment manufacturers make. There were lots of chestnuts and tans and chocolates and mochas and espressos (maybe t-shirt girl shouldn't write copy while she's hungry...). There was no cardboard to be found. We'd find a color that worked for the men, but then we couldn't get it for ladies or kids. Or vice versa. Finally, our screenprinter said, "You know what? How about if we custom dye y'all some shirts to match your boxes." Sent them a package from our warehouse full of caffeinated brownies, and, the next thing we knew, we had a set of shirts that's a dead-ringer for our boxes. That's a long way of saying, "here's a shirt." Timmy's

The Dude Abideth Human life is all about proportions and ratios. For instance: a palm is the width of four fingers a foot is the width of four palms a cubit (whatever that is...) is the width of six palms a conventional bowling grip extends to the second knuckle of the middle two fingers a White Russian is the width of 2 fingers of vodka and two fingers of Kahlua Note that there are no toes in the above calculations in case you are missing any. Not even a little toe. As in a tiny part, not as in pinkie toe. Although there's none of them either. What were we talking about? Oh yeah. Life. Proportions. You have to live it. It's important to live it to the fullest. Because fullness is everything. Speaking of that, I'm feeling kinda like I could use a snack.... A print of The Dude standing in the style of Leonardo Da Vinci's Vitruvian Man with a bowling ball in one hand and a White Russian in the other on a camel, 100% cotton t-shirt.

Knowledge Brings Fear Mars University is one of the universe's leading academic institutions. Founded in 2636, this land-, sea-, and space-grant university is the oldest institution of higher learning on Mars. Counted among the universe's leaders in teaching and research, Mars University draws students and faculty from as far away as Omicron Persei 8. Mars U combines innovative teaching and pioneering research in a highly-collaborative environment that transcends traditional gravitational constants. Nestled on the edge of the red desert overlooking lush jungles, the university boasts distinguished residencies from intellectuals such as Dr. Bubblegum Tate, the Downtown Professor of Applied Physics, on loan from Globetrotter University. Our renowned Wong library is home to largest collection of literature in the Western Universe. Whether you're looking for a bachelor's, master's, doctoral degree or post-graduate education, or just a sweatshirt and a Notice of Failure to Graduate c

Ship approaching. X-wing class. Be sure to zoom in on this design to get the full effect. All sorts of bits are called out. We're particularly fond of the diagram of the S-foil wing assembly at the bottom right of the design (left of the shirt), shown folded out with arrows and fainter lines for the locked configuration. Well, that and the line indicating proper placement of your "astromech droid." Bonus points if you know why there's an asterisk after Incom 4L4 Fusial Thrust Engine. If you don't, click and drag your mouse across the below: "Alternate Configurations May Use Incom 4j.4 Fusial Thrust Engines." Omnibus: X-wing Rogue Squadron, Volume 1 Schematics for the Incom T-65 X-wing starfighter in white, grey and blue on a black, 100% cotton t-shirt. This shirt is softer and slightly more fitted than our normal shirts.

Echo Station 3-T-8. We have spotted Imperial Walkers. The All Terrain Armored Transport. The Imperial Walker. Just the name is intimidating. AT-AT not so much, which maybe is why they aren't referred to as that in the films. AT-AT sounds like something that could be curled up on a rug in front of your fireplace. "AT-AT! Come here, boy!" When you have a cute name, it's hard to be demoralizing. This is probably also why the Empire never published the specs on the Imperial Walkers. Because they blueprints had a secret: the "toe flap." Toe flaps are for CRUSHING your foes. Also, they sound adorable. Toe flap! Toe flap. We dig toe flaps. They make us break into song. The Drive Motor's connected to the leg bit. The leg bit's connected to the knee joint. The knee joint's connected to the... er. Butt? That can't be right... This is an awesome diagram, but some unfortunate design placement makes this kinda look like the AT-AT walker has a knee joint up his butt. Which it might if Luke an

It seemed like a fun job... Psst, kid. I hear you're interested in flying a TIE Fighter for the Empire. Being one of the few TIE Fighter Pilots of my class still alive, let me tell you why that's a bad idea. For starters, these birds aren't built to last. Cantina jukeboxes are made of sturdier stuff. Sure, you got your crash webbing, your repulsor lift anti-gravity field, and your high-g shock seat, but none of those prevent you from taking a shot where it hurts. While you do have an ejection seat, if you want a better death, don't use it. Exploding is a quicker way to go. The "best" part? The near anonymity. At your funeral, people will say, "Wait... is this the service for DS-36-3 or DS-63-3? I always got those guys mixed up." What I'm trying to say is... there are better careers out there. Go join the Senate or something. Schematics for the Imperial TIE Fighter in black, red and white on a charcoal grey, 100% cotton t-shirt. This shirt is softer and slightly more fitted than

Slurm: It's Highly Addictive! We'd like to thank you, the masses, for making our new "the first one's free!" campaign such a success. So we're offering this commemorative Slurm t-shirt for your purchase! This is the perfect shirt to let others know how much you love our secret blend of over 900 herbs and spices. Look for the bottlecap to win a visit to the planet Wormulon for the Slurm Factory Tour! For those of you who haven't yet tried Slurm, we encourage you to! Now. Much like an excessive dose of radiation, Slurm gives you that healthy green glow. And also possibly superpowers.1 Plus, it's good for you!2 "Enjoy Slurm" is printed, slightly distressed, on a black, 100% cotton t-shirt 1 The Bureau Of Soft Drinks, Tobacco, and Firearms has not reviewed this statement for accuracy. 2 Note: Slurm has been found to cause cancer in laboratory humans.

Iron Man MK IX Armor This may look like a standard t-shirt, but it's actually the Iron Man Mark IX suit. This latest version is much lighter than all previous versions, featuring a flexible interior with knitted cotton exterior. Unlike the Extremis version, the movement with your body does not require you to inject carbon nanotubes into your brain. The chest-mounted uni-beam is powered by photons, which it collects and then disperses when the wearer enters a dark area. For all body parts covered by the Mark IX's new form factor, the suit provides protection from adverse weather conditions, UV rays, and temperature extremes. It is designed for up to two days of use inside Earth's atmosphere, although after the first 12 hours of use its effectiveness is reduced. After 24 hours, it begins to act as a repulsor. The Iron Man Arc Reactor Shirt has three components: the t-shirt, a light panel with a long cable, and a battery box. When fresh batteries are in the battery box and the unit

Screw Fortran 77, Fortran 90, and Fortran 95. We'll upgrade to Fortran Forty. There are so many beer options today. When you're selecting the beer for your discerning palate, you want to get advice from someone who knows what he's talking about. How about our favorite immoral robot? We consider him an alcohol connoisseur. Stress on the con. Bender has a thing for Olde Fortran. We hear it's brewed with the finest acid rain in a robot's chest cavity ("Taste the circuits!"), but we can't prove it. Also, Lando Calrissian may be in its advertisements. We can't prove that either. Basically, all we have is a big ol' paper sack of rumor. Tasty, buzz-inducing rumor. Distressed Olde Fortran label printed on a black, 100% cotton t-shirt.

Futuristic 3D Movies... Make us sick 3D Movies. You've got to love them right? But when in-your-face special effects turn into headache-inducing nausea... the fun is over. What's more, all your friends love 3D movies. You've been there before, a movie is playing in both 2D and 3D, all your friends want to see the 3D version... so what can you do? Easy! Deliver old skool 2D images to your tired eyes with the 3D to 2D Glasses. The De-3D glasses eliminate the 3D effect from 3D movies, allowing you to watch in the comfort of 2D. How do they work you say? In a traditional 3D movie, two images are displayed overlapped on the movie screen. Standard 3D glasses filter these images allowing one to be seen by the right eye and the other to be seen by the left eye. The difference between the two images creates the 3D effect and also the annoying eyestrain and headaches you may have experienced. The De-3D glasses are specially designed to eliminate the left eye image and show only the right

Free Hugs! You know, it's a revelation when you see a DIY project you did in high school done really well. "Oh, so THAT'S what it's supposed to look like." That's exactly what we thought when we saw this bleach-stenciled apparel. For us, bleach stencils were mandated when our unique teenage combination of lazy and messy ruined our favorite shirts. This tentacle stuff elevates the common bleach stencil to a whole other level, so we were pretty excited when this artist out of Baltimore got to the point where she could accommodate ThinkGeek's cephalopodic needs. Note that because the design is handmade for each shirt, the placement of the tentacles on each garment is unique. We don't know what you're going to get, but we can promise it won't look just like it does in these photos. That's how art works. Tentacles twine around the front of this black, 100% cotton t-shirt. It's ringspun which makes it softer to the touch than our standard tees.

Bad Horse Bad Horse Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come shoe you? With this shirt, you, too, can be a walking wanted poster for this most notorious of equines. And with art from Megan Lara, who wouldn't want to? Under the word "WANTED," it features the profile of the identified Thoroughbred of Sin against a field of two hammers and what looks like a wreath of acanthus leaves. Under the circle it lists his identifying traits: "Known for his iron hooves and terrible death whinny." The Bad Horse banner flies, with the inscription underneath reading "If spotted, contact Captain Hammer" and hastily scrawled beneath that "(The reward is my hammer.)" Captain Hammer. Not so much a fan of subtlety. Bad Horse Wanted poster printed in a golden yellow on a black, 100% cotton t-shirt.