Teenormous T-shirts

You Always Knew It Was Special We here at TG World Domination HQ love us some bacon. Well, except for the vegetarians. (Honestly, most of them love it and yet manage to restrain themselves. We don't know how they do it.) The Pork Checkoff (which is a national pork lobbying organization but makes us imagine Pigs in Space talking about nuclear wessels) put out a document that has all sorts of statistics - a pie chart with a blue wedge indicating bacon cheeseburgers accounted for 13% of restaurant pork eatings in 2009, one that shows that bacon was 18.2% of US in-home pork consumption in 2009 (topped only by ham and sausage), a bar graph showing how "menued pork items" have grown over the past 10 years. Besides making verbs out of nouns and nouns out of verbs, they provide us with neat numbers to sink our teeth into. Then we got to the "Estimated Daily U.S. Slaughter Capacity" table, which made us cringe. According to the USDA Foreign Agricultural Service's 2009 data, your average

Thank You, Mario, But Our Princess Rescued Herself There are lots of stories about heroic knights rescuing princesses. In fact, some of our favorite epics follow that same trope: Star Wars, Zelda, The Princess Bride.... But sometimes you've got to mix it up a little. You don't feel like sitting around playing the damsel in distress, patiently waiting for some Y chromosome to come to your aid. In fact, you might have to rescue some poor, wayward princes on your quest, which is okay. As long as they don't get in the way. If you're reading this page, we're betting that you are that superheroine. But if you're not, we know you have one in your life. Your own personal Buffy, Lara Croft, Zoe, the wielder of The Witchblade, Xena, Kim Possible, Leela, Agent 355, Ripley, Wonder Woman, or (our favorite rolemodel for little girls) Elizabeth from The Paper Bag Princess. We could go on, but you get the idea. To paraphrase, geek girls kick butt and chew bubble gum, and we're all out of gum. "

Ninja Jenga Generally, we don't recommend stacking ninjas. That tends to make them angry, and you wouldn't like them when they're angry. But when they're this cute, who can resist? Use the three-high ninja stack to get the frisbee off the roof, to change your lightbulbs (to blacklight, naturally), or to kneecap Godzilla. The possibilities are endless! Adorable shirt features three super-deformed ninjas with tiny shuriken starbursts on a black babydoll (fitted) t-shirt. Pink heart near the bottom reads "Ninja" in Kanji and "Here comes trouble" in English. Note: Please reference the table below to choose your size. S M L XL Chest 29 1/2 in. 31 1/2 in. 34 1/2 in. 36 in. Waist 27 in. 29 in. 31 1/2 in. 35 in. Length 25 in. 25 1/2 in. 26 in. 26 1/2 in.

Was that the primary buffer panel? Life is interesting. And by interesting, we mean surprising, unexpected, absorbing, engrossing, fascinating, gripping, riveting, entertaining, amusing, diverting, intriguing, and yes, even interesting like trying to land your gorramn ship without a primary buffer panel. Some other great uses for the word interesting: Curse: "May you live in interesting times." (Translation: "We really hope the fates slap you upside the head like you deserve.") Not-A-Lie: "That's an interesting hair color." (Translation: "Did you dip your head in sewage?") Not-An-HR-Nightmare: "What an interesting dress!" (Translation: "Where's the rest of it?") Impending Disaster: "It's certainly an interesting problem." (Translation: "We have no clue how to fix it.") Wash's definition of "Interesting" in white on a black, babydoll (fitted) t-shirt. Note: These are sized differently than our standard babydolls. Please reference the table below to choose your size. S M L XL 2X C

Help Wanted Come work for Merlotte's Bar and Grill, consistently rated #1 bar in Bon Temps, Louisiana (it helps that we're the only one). Must provide prompt and courteous service to patrons, make menu and daily special recommendations. Hours vary. This is a family place. Locals only. Interested applicants should ask for Sam. Note to copy editor: Because of our high turnover, please run ad continuously. Merlotte's Bar and Grill logo over the chest with the words TrueBlood in grey beneath on a white, fashion-weight (which means it's thin and soft) babydoll (fitted) t-shirt. Note: Please reference the table below to choose your size. This is a more straight-cut shirt than many of our offerings, meaning the waist measurement isn't significantly smaller than the chest. S M L XL 2X Chest 30 in. 32 in. 34 in. 37 in. 40 in. Waist 27 in. 29 in. 31 in. 33 in. 35 in. Length 25 3/8 in. 26 in. 26 5/8 in. 27 1/4 in. 27 7/8 in.

Go Away Geeks: we're one big group of loners. Most of us are not much good at the whole social interaction thing. In fact, we've trained our whole lives to be Not Good at it. From playing house alone to petitioning to be the project manager, technical lead, designer, and tester all in one on your next project, you know that other people just make life more complicated. But don't worry. You're in good company here. You're amongst people who understand, cause we're like that, too. For most of us, if it starts with "social," it better end with "networking sites." Pretty much whenever we're out in public, geeks take a circumstance penalty to our CHA-based skills (except Handle Animal), and if you want to land some sort of bonus to offset that, you'd have to down a lot of alcohol or wear a shirt that forewarns people of the situation in a humorous manner and automatically breaks the ice with no effort whatsoever on your part. Oh wait. That's what this is! How convenient is that? This

xkcd Goodies: Science Babydoll Science: We finally figured out that you could separate fact from superstition by a completely radical method: observation. You can try things, measure them, and see how they work! Bitches. The graph on the back of the shirt is data from the COBE mission, which looked at the background microwave glow of the universe and found that it fit perfectly with the idea that the universe used to be really hot everywhere. This strongly reinforced the Big Bang theory and was one of the most dramatic examples of an experiment agreeing with a theory in history -- the data points fit perfectly, with error bars too small to draw on the graph. It's one of the most triumphant scientific results in history. "Science / It works, bitches." on the front with the COBE graph on the back in white on a green babydoll (fitted) t-shirt. The babydoll shirt is a slightly lighter green.

Three Tablespoons Rhubarb, On Fire Welcome, . Thank you for participating in this Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment activity. As you know, science is very important, and we're appreciative of your dedication of yourself up to and including possible permanent disabilities, such as death. To avoid permanent disabilities, be sure to ⇔∼ ^H . State and local statutory regulations prohibit us from revealing the entire nature of the experiment you are participating in today, but be informed that it may involve physics, psychology, thermodynamics, pharmacology, and non-Euclidean geometry. And cake. For the party. At the end. When you're done. Sometimes cake is my favorite part of science. When asking your children if they would like to attend the Aperture Science Bring Your Daughter to Work Day, remind them that science = cake. The Vital Apparatus Vent will deliver a black babydoll (fitted) "Look at me still talking when there's Science to do" t-shirt in three, two, one....

"Something weird is going on. Isn't that our school motto?" - Xander, "I Only Have Eyes for You," Buffy the Vampire Slayer There is something for everyone at Sunnydale High School. Sunnydale High stands above the banks of the Hellmouth in southern California, just west of Ventura County. Serving approximately 2500 students in grades 9 through 12, it houses an ethnically, socio-economically, and morphologically diverse student body. From academics to sports, clubs to service organizations, students will find everything they are looking for at Sunnydale. Over 40 clubs and organizations operate yearly to keep students active and involved. These include: Amnesty International, band, cheerleading, chess club, debate, demon summoning, drama club, Future Fiends of America, Honor Society, the Key Club (one member), NJROTC, and yearbook. News flash! We are proud to announce that Sunnydale's class of '99 has the lowest mortality rate in the school's history! Way to go Razorbacks! SHS prin

Ada Lovelace - The First Computer Programmer Even in the utilitarian aspect, however, we do not doubt that very valuable practical results would be developed by the extended faculties of the Analytical Engine; some of which results we think we could now hint at, had we the space; and others, which it may not yet be possible to foresee, but which would be brought forth by the daily increasing requirements of science, and by a more intimate practical acquaintance with the powers of the engine, were it in actual existence. - Ada Lovelace Augusta Ada Byron King, Countess of Lovelace wrote the above in 1843. She had undertaken, at Charles Babbage's behest, a translation from the French of Italian mathematician Luigi Menabrea's description of Babbage's lecture in Turin on what he called an "Analytical Engine." In her notes, which are longer than the text being translated, she presents for her English-speaking audience a clear distinction between the Difference Engine and the Analytica

"Oh, my ears and whiskers, how late it's getting!" Geeks tend to be late for things. Our theory is that it's because we are some of the few who truly comprehend the implications of the relativity of space and time. That, plus, when we're not properly caffeinated, naps are very tempting. So we understand the poor White Rabbit from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland having a bit of a freak out. When we're late to events, we end up with extra action items or get stuck with the Diet Coke that nobody ordered. The White Rabbit, however, is late for something far more important than a project status meeting or lunch. So it's okay if he figuratively loses his head a bit in this situation; it's better than the alternative - literally losing his head. It's a distinct possibility in his world. Tenniel's engraving of the White Rabbit considering his pocket watch printed in black, white and red with the word "Late." printed over and over as a tan cloud floating around him on a soft charcoal ba

When you enjoy bacon periodically Seems like everyone has a different way of eating these days. Just at ThinkGeek World Domination HQ we have the carnivores, the pescatarians, the vegetarians, the vegans, and then there's our copywriter monkey who claims to be 100% vegetarian 80% of the time, which requires higher math when we pick a lunch place. Then there was this one guy we met who said he was vegetarian up until the point he smelled bacon cooking. So periodically, he was what we like to call bacontarian. We suggest bacontarianism as an alternative to your already presumably alternative eating habits. Plus, it kind of sounds like a religion. So when someone asks what you believe in, you can say, "Bacon." The chemical formula for bacon (okay, it's not... but it SPELLS bacon... we do NOT recommend you attempt to eat this combination of elements), Barium, Cobalt, and Nitrogen, printed with their atomic properties in white on a deep heather babydoll (fitted) v-neck t-shirt.

The Curse of Nametags We hate going to events that require nametags. We don't like encouraging strangers to talk to us. Plus, we always forget to take the damn thing off when we walk out of whatever it was that required the nametag, so we're headed home, stopping by the grocery store, accidentally encouraging the produce manager to address us by name. Which is just creepy. The one exception would be if you had a really long name such as Tarquin Fin-tim-lin-bin-whin-bim-lim bus stop F'tang F'tang Ol Biscuitbarrel. Or if you had something complicated you had to say with your introduction, such as, "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." Saying that over and over gets tedious (just ask Count Rugen). So in this case, we figure we can condone the use of nametags. Just this once. Black babydoll (fitted) shirt with white and red "Hello my name is..." sticker over the chest, with Inigo Montoya's full spiel wedged in there.

Talk About a Fibonacci Heap! Rabbits are known for a three main behaviors: wiggling their noses adorably, eating everything in your garden, and creating more rabbits. In 1202, Leonardo Pisano Bogollo aka Fibonacci proposed a logic problem involving this third behavior. Supposing an idealized world in which you start with a pair of male and female rabbits and every pair of rabbits sexually matures at one month, gestates for one month, and reproduces as frequently as possible and each mating produces a pair of male and female rabbits, how many Cadbury eggs can you eat in one sitting? No wait. That's not right. What he pointed out was that the pairs of rabbits would grow progressively in the Fibonacci sequence (he didn't call it that, although that would have rocked... "the me sequence"). A cheerleader pyramid of Fibonacci bunnies on a light aqua babydoll (fitted) t-shirt. Also, we're going to take a second here to point out that even under non-ideal circumstances bunnies DO reprod

Hailing frequencies open It is incorrect believing that the only Star Trek fans are male. When ThinkGeek launched our popular line of Star Trek t-shirts, we immediately began to receive emails asking where the love was for our female fans. "Where," they asked, "is the Uhura-style miniskirt?!" It was a response we got pretty regularly. See, Gene Roddenberry envisioned a world where men and women of all races could serve side-by-side on a starship, all in a time when racial inequality was the norm, and when the so-called glass ceiling was made out of solid duranium. The uniforms he originally envisioned for females looked exactly like the mens' uniforms, but were likely changed due to network pressure to something a bit more feminine. Despite the objectification, it worked - women could still be feminine, but maintain positions of authority and showed strength. ThinkGeek worked through our suppliers and finally got hold of these fantastic mini-skirt style tunic tops for all the awe

Know Your Cuts Unicorns aren't something that you run into every day, and we recognize that even professional chefs can sometimes be stymied when preparing exotic meats. We here at ThinkGeek World Domination HQ have put together the following chart to use as a guide when selecting unicorn meat. For instance, the front section, being the hardest working, benefits from most-heat cooking to produce the most tender hugs. We use only the finest cuts of Rainbow to make our exclusive Canned Unicorn Meat, available in 14 oz. and new family-sized 28 oz. cans. Unicorn meat diagram in white and two shades of pink (heliotrope and strawberry sugar wafer) on a black 100% cotton babydoll (fitted) t-shirt. It's sparkly.

"Only Imperial Stormtroopers are so precise." (Which is, presumably, not very.) There is one thing you want to be sure of when you're facing down a bunch of Stormtroopers. Did your name roll at the beginning of the credits or the end? If at the beginning, you're just fine. You don't even have to dodge if you don't want to. If at the end, you may want to get some major medical insurance and review your will and power of attorney to ensure they're up to date. Poor Stormtroopers. You know those uniforms aren't comfy or very protective, and then they get picked on by film critics and fans. Well, we won't be an exception. Here's the ThinkGeek List of Events You Don't Want To Invite Stormtroopers To: Birthday party involving a piata Darts tournament Paintball game (well, you don't want them on YOUR team...) Massive Imperial Stormtrooper helmet on a white, 100% cotton t-shirt.

Know why cats are so quiet? They're born with tabi boots. We had to carry this shirt because we love the video of ninja cat. If you don't know what we're talking about, go check it out. Don't worry. We'll be here when you get back in one minute and fourteen seconds. If you don't get distracted by the related videos links. Don't fall for it. They're never as good as the original. Our version of Ninja Kitty comes clad in a cat-sized shinobi shōzoku with tail curled around a shuriken. The black babydoll (fitted) tee declares "NINJA KITTY" in big, red letters. Which is not so sneaky, but we guess that's okay. Ninja felines aren't half as much fun if you don't know to watch for them performing their anerable sneaking. Note that the design does not wrap on to the back of the shirt. That'd take away some of the inherent sneakiness. Note: Please reference the table below to choose your size. S M L XL Chest 29 1/2 in. 31 1/2 in. 34 1/2 in. 36 in. Waist 27 in. 29 in. 31 1/2 in. 35 in. Le

Fair Warning The statement on this shirt is great. It's not just a reference to one of our favorite pop culture phenomena, because ... think about it. You probably could kill people with your brain. Have a psionic character in an RPG? Ding. Know how to mix acids and bases? Ding. Use dangerous skills learned on MythBusters for fun and profit? Ding. There are so many opportunities to use your mind as a dangerous weapon we're surprised you don't have to have it registered. The best part? When you're wearing a shirt with this sort of sentiment people aren't likely to stop you and ask you to clarify. "Also, I can kill you with my brain." in white ink on a black babydoll (fitted) t-shirt.

WARNING: Human fuel levels dangerously low It's Monday afternoon. You've got an important TPS report due in the next hour. You absentmindedly reach for your coffee cup and notice it's way lighter than it should be. As you tip it skyward, you realize that your human fuel is at a catastrophically low level. You're running on fumes! Your body is awash with panic. Can you get a refill that will propel you across the Excel finish line before the dreaded jitters, shakes, and headaches set in? Or will your engine stop in mid-keystroke? This is an authentic Glennz t-shirt, full of New Zealand-y goodness. Printed on a black, 100% fine jersey cotton t-shirt, this design features a coffee cup with dangerously low power level symbols. It's printed on American Apparel, which fits differently than most of ThinkGeek's shirts, so be sure to check the Sizing Info tab to ensure you select the right size.

"And the rest, after a sudden wet thud, was silence." - Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Birth is probably traumatic on a little brain. You've been hanging out in this warm, wet environment for 9 months, and all of a sudden there are bright lights and loud noises. However, we think it was probably a little more traumatic for the whale and the bowl of petunias. When you come into the world at something like 35000 ft., it's not likely to end well. (Unless there's an airplane and a doctor also involved.) At least our favorite fail whale died happily. He never knew what hit him. *rimshot* This seafoam blue, babydoll (fitted) t-shirt features the ground at its bottom and, amongst fluffy, happy clouds, a falling sperm whale on the chest with the thought bubble, "I wonder if it will be friends with me?"

Quantum Superpositioned on Your Shirt What is it with cats and boxes? Despite all the talk of potentially dead cats, Schrdinger must have been a fan of the feline. He knew the perfect container for a cat was a box. Dog, not so much. Cat? May never come out. Which is sort of the point of the thought experiment. The cat might be both there and also not, but we know the box will remain on your shirt as long as you take care when washing it. Cuteness guaranteed. Live cat, not so much. "Hello Schrddy" in black with a white box and a red bow on a pink babydoll (fitted) t-shirt. Note: Don't want to have to explain this shirt to strangers? Fear no more! We now have free Schrdinger's Cat Pocket Cards to go with your shirt. They're perfect to print out and keep in your wallet so you can hand them out and make your escape while said strangers are busy reading.

Marie Curie - Pioneer of Nuclear Physics One of our joys was to go into our workroom at night; we then perceived on all sides the feebly luminous silhouettes of the bottles or capsules containing our products. It was really a lovely sight and one always new to us. The glowing tubes looked like faint, fairy lights. - Marie Curie Madame Marie Skłodowska-Curie wrote the above in 1923, recalling the work that she and husband Pierre Curie did at the turn of the century to isolate radioactive isotopes. It was during this time studying the curious Uranium emissions noticed by Henri Becquerel that she proved that Thorium was also radioactive, a word coined by her. In 1898 the Curies published papers announcing the discoveries of Polonium and Radium. In 1903 Marie shared the Nobel Prize in Physics with her husband and Becquerel, becoming the first woman to win a Nobel Prize, and in 1911, she was awarded the Nobel Prize in Chemistry, becoming the first person to attain a second. She was

xkcd Goodies - Stand Back (Science) Babydoll We love the verb on this shirt. It could have been "do." It could have been "perform." But no. It's "try." Which is so unsure. As a wise figure once said, "Do or do not. There is no try." "Stand back! I'm going to try science!" with a little figure holding out a flask and a calculator in white on the front of this black babydoll (fitted) t-shirt.