"I think, therefore I nom."

Is it an angry bear, or some kind of monster, or both? Has your own chest gained independent sentience? The world may never know.

Sometimes it seems crummy in America. Sure there's rampant corruption and incompetence and it seems like 90% of Americans are violent idiots that dress like assholes, but sometimes it's sort of okay or whatever. You can wear this shirt to a barbecue but then your uncle sees it and is not sure what to think and maybe hesitates to give you your burger but in the end he gives it to you, it is okay. Based on this Pictures for Sad Children Comic, now you can show how you really feel about America: It's kind of okay, sometimes.

Are you tired of ordinary American Flags? Want something with a little more kick? My friend, you have come to the right place. Based upon this Overcompensating comic strip, the New American Symbol shirt is ready to represent what America means to you. Four years ago, the Freedom Eagle was flabbergasted. But now he has Hope again! Things are bad but they might get better. The New America Symbol has a familiar shape and fifty stars that represent the 50 wealthiest people in America. There are five stripes that represent the number of points on each star. Notice the Freedom Eagle's American teardrop -- he is either extremely angry or extremely proud. This is a type of Extreme Pride that says "I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about, foreigner, but I'm better than you. My country invented Batman."

Animals are like humans, always being dicks. True street knowledge originally dropped in this Pictures for Sad Children comic.

For enthusiastic mariners, or armchair mariners, or anyone else. Originally worn by an enthusiastic little girl in some comics.

A mysterious beast, solver of crimes and mysteries and a connoisseur of .. anything at all that can be eaten.

Fans of team can now show their support of sport and game with style! The sportball winners of last time, the Sportland Sports, are the Number 1, and achieved such by doing the most points! [COMIC 1] [COMIC 2]

Dr. McNinja has leapt into the air before deciding how he feels about you.

It doesn't matter that you're a horrible, inexplicably reanimated, rotting corpse for whom every moment is an eternity of suffering punctuated by fleeting, terrible sensations of numbness that can only be attained by the consumption of warm human brains. What matters is that you're the best horrible, inexplicably reanimated, rotting corpse for whom every moment is an eternity of suffering punctuated by fleeting, terrible sensations of numbness that can only be attained by the consumption of warm human brains you can be. And all the world will suffer for its sins.

Wednesday is a magical cat able to detect any wall by running into it at high speeds. She may look at you like she wants you to pick her up and love her, but all she really wants is food. Wednesday may be the star of more than one comic.

From Pontus Madsen's Softa designs. No use hiding it anymore, be proud of it!

Categorical imperative: "Act only according to that maxim whereby you can at the same time will that it should become a universal jam."

Augh! I got ROBOT in my eye! Fresh from the pages of Fumblog (http://www.fumblog.com)! It can happen to anyone, an unexpected gust of wind in the middle of a Robot-Apocalypse and BAM! you've got one of the metallic monsters right in your eye! And you can't...quite...get it. And the more you rub it the further under your eyelid it slides! Gah! GAHHHH! (now in tasty Robot-Apocalypse approved colours!)

Did you know there are more wild parrots in Brooklyn than guys named Vinnie? Legend says a crate of monk parakeets was unleashed by accident in the 1960s, and they've been around ever since -- to the dismay of electric companies and parrot haters. Don't be a parrot hater. Represent!

You all wanted it. And now it is here. He is like a humble rockstar, spreading across the internet like the f*cking lolcats. And now here we are. How did we get to this? Why did I succumb? The pressure was too much and I gave in. I GIVE UP. YOU WIN. Please make all checks payable to The Topato Corporation.

The World's Greatest Crimefighters, and Batman, team-up in this t-shirt drawn by Brandon Bird. Re-live the classic 1996-'97 season of "Law & Order," in which Batman joined the cast as Detective Lennie Briscoe's new partner.

Sea Madness. It had to be sea madness. The grizzled sea captain rubbed his eyes. Lightning flashed. His crew had been dead for as long as the storm had been raging. Days? Weeks? Impossible to know. The grizzled sea captain took a long pull from a bottle of spiced rum, and picked up his harpoon gun. Months later, when the ship's remains washed up on a beach in C&#244te d'Ivoire, this was the only picture recovered from the Grizzled Sea Captain's iPhone.

"Hello, Jerry," grumbled the voice from the doorway. Nude from the waist up, Jerry drew a deep breath. He had been training for this moment for weeks. He listened intently, waiting for his opponent to enter his threshold -- his domain, if you will. For when that moment arrived, Jerry would be well within his legal rights to defend himself in his own home, by any means necessary. "Jerry?" The sound of shuffling feet. Jerry smiled wide. His nostrils flared. "Hello, Newman," Jerry whispered, and reached for his Nunchaku. This would be last time.

What walks on four feet in the morning, two feet at mid-day, and chicken feet in the evening?

Next time Sunday rolls around and you've got nothing to wear to your motorcycle club, don't worry, we've got you covered. Just toss on the flaming head of Christopher Walken.

This shirt has how-to information [ZOOM] on all of the low-hanging fruit of our modern age. Go back in time wearing this and you'll invent heavier-than-air flight! YOU'LL discover penicillin. YOU'LL be the first to isolate aluminum. Did you know aluminum used to be more valuable than gold? YOU'RE GONNA BE RICH. SPECIAL BONUS FEATURE: this shirt also doubles as an "holy cow if this shirt somehow got sent back in time EVERYTHING WOULD BE CHANGED" item. This one garment - YOUR SHIRT - can/definitely will/might have already change(d) the entire course of human history. Wear it with pride! PS: This shirt is also useful in the event of apocalypses! Did we mention it also comes on a print?

Waking up is terrible. Eye boogers, bad breath, flashing lights, battering rams.

I like this music. The remixes are kind of annoying, though.