Teenormous T-shirts

This is ERRMERICA! Where men are ripped out with muscles have straight crew cuts and have enough fire arms to be ruled a crime against humanity! Yeah! Of course I'm getting all of this information from this 100% cotton GI Joe 'Does My Arm Pit Smell?' 30 Single T-Shirt. It isn't like anybody in GI Joe or Cobra could hit anything anyways. They are kind of like Vogons in that regard. Sure there is crazy amounts of laser fire coming from every direction but nobody will be seriously hurt. That's how wars should be fought! Anyways this GI Joe 'Does My Arm Pit Smell?' 30 Single T-Shirt features a primary image of Duke on a backdrop of Joes. This shirt is also made from a 30 single thread count making this shirt as cuddly as Snowjob!

Made from 100% Cotton this black t-shirt features an image of the amazing Spiderman bounding about over his very own logo! YAY SPIDERMAN! He saved pop-pop from that guy! That guy with the "splodin' pumpkins and the cacklin' laughin'. Yup. It was my first time ever in the big city and this green fella' pushed pop-pop off the bridge. What was pop-pop doing on the bridge? Sight seein'! DUH! Anyway I should mention this Spiderman t-shirt glows in the dark. Yup. Thanks Spiderman!

Made from 100% Cotton this soft red t-shirt features a classic slightly distressed image...taken right out of those "old-timey" Spidey comics! Yepps! And for your viewing pleasure the most spine-chilling battle of the month! Yes even more spine-chilling than Spiderman's monthly battle with the landlord! Yes even more spine-chilling than Spiderman's battle with 3 homeless people begging him to stop crying over their sleep-boxes! Every damn night he perches himself on the roof right above 'em and sobs about..about Gwenn this and MJ that and the rent this and the Green Goblin that. Yup. Anyway this is a 30 Single t-shirt made with a higher 30 Single thread count making it softer than the average tee!

Made from 100% Cotton this white t-shirt features an image of Spiderman crawling on top of what may be.....a hastily spray-painted Spiderman symbol-thing. Oh and the "splatter" is filled with a silver-foil print! Neato! I'm thinking Spiderman painted this over what was previously there...that being a "New York Hates You Spiderman!" billboard. Yup. SO you a fan of Spiderman? Yeah? Good 'cause that means two people actually like Spiderman: You....and Spiderman.

Made from 100% cotton it's a brown t-shirt featuring an EXTREME close-up of Chewbacca the @!#$ing Wookie! Chewbacca is the loyal overly large linguistically limited life-mate of one Han Solo; space-pirate with a heart of..uh space gold. Yup. When you were 10 years old in 1977 your pops took you to see Star Wars and you LOVED that big freaking bear! He had a...a laser crossbow! He...he was strong and stuff! And housebroken! It's Chewbacca! He's actually intelligent! He can fly a ship that made the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs! He lets you comb his legs! YAY!

Borne from esoteric Sith alchemy and 100% cotton this Star Wars Darth Maul Angry Face T-Shirt pays homage to one Darth Sidious' apprentice the infamous Darth Maul! This particular t-shirt has a massive red stencil like effect highlighting Darth Maul's merciful face. Maybe merciful isn't quite the right word. Iridonian? Check. Bad A$$ uniform? Check. Double-bladed light saber? Check. This list could go on forever but hey I think you get the point. You have to give credit to Darth Maul his hatred made him strong with the Dark Side...he took on two Jedi at the same time...and he thought it was fair! Well as fair as anything can be as a Sith. At last we shall have our revenge!

This is a great 100% cotton Star Wars Ship Diagrams 30 Single T-Shirt which shows off the schematics for the TIE Fighter X-Wing and Millennium Falcon. You see in the future having some lines pointing to random parts of the craft is enough for the engineers in Star Wars to put something together! No insert part A into slot B here folks...it's straight up cut and dry! I always wanted a TIE Fighter; mainly for the sound effect. Heck I wish my car would make that screaming noise of the twin-ion engine. I bet those things get great mileage. Oh and I almost forgot to mention - this shirt is made from a 30 single thread count making this shirt softer than the average tee.

Made from 100% Cotton this soft navy blue t-shirt features a slightly distressed image of 4 Stormtroopers.....considering something. Something important. Something about.....droids they were supposed to be on the lookout for. Sam the "brain" of the bunch was pretty sure he actually saw those droids on that last speeder. He remembers questioning the drivers but......the old guy seemed pretty convincing. They...they're weren't really the droids they were looking for. Anyway this Star Wars t-shirt showing a quartet of the Empire's finest is a made with a higher 30 Single thread count making it a softer than average tee.

Made from 100% Cotton this soft royal blue t-shirt features a purposely distressed image of Captain America's shield as if it was....made of glass. And stabbed shot at kicked and dropped from the Space Needle. Yup. Either that or this was a prototype for Cap's trusty shield. Yeah.....glass was dismissed pretty quickly after the stampeding elephant trials. So you're noticing the higher price. Well this is a quality noticeably softer t-shirt made with a higher 30 Single thread count. That's why.

Made from 100% cotton this black t-shirt features an image of Deadpool; everyone's favorite mutated mercenary with a penchant for pontification! Yep Deadpool kills with a quip and a smile! HAH! Anyway yeah everyone loves the Deadpool. I mean he does birthday parties store openings barbershop quartets and Weapon X survivor support groups...for a minimum fee of course. He walks dogs too although...they may return a little lighter than when they left so...please do a quick limb count before he buckles the collar.

Hey it's one of those fancy-schmancy all-over-print t-shirts! It's made from 100% cotton and features multiple images of Deadpool....bounding around shooting kittens in the hind quarters etc. Yep these images of Deadpool traumatizing families covers entirely the front of the t-shirt. Turn it around and we have an image of Deadpool's discarded mask....nailed to a wall. Yep. Anyway this Deadpool t-shirt is actually a unique work of t-shirt manufacturing. Because of the Belt-Printing technique used to create these tees what may appear as imperfections are in fact intrinsic and characteristic of the Belt Printing technique as it is printed on a finished garment. No 2 tees reflect the finished print identically is what's I'm saying. Could be a....little line under the armpit or something unique to one particular tee. Look you know the drill; this is why they're a little more 'spensive.

We all know the Hulk likes to do some smashing however did you realize that he didn't start off that way? After his initial dose of radiation Hulk DANCED! Yes he danced all night long. As dainty as a Russian ballerina and as light as a feather. He even looked good in a to-to bless his heart. Speaking of ornate things check out this 65% polyester 35% cotton Hulk Big Face Print Sublimated T-Shirt! This particular shirt is way beyond the standard softness of non-gamma radiated t-shirts and the shirt features a classy sublimated print technique which embeds the image directly into the material of the shirt! No flaking no slow aging...this shirt will look as good as the day you got it when you give it to your grandchildren! Well maybe not. Chances are they'll want to shoot the Hulk Big Face Print Sublimated T-Shirt into space because it is too dangerous to keep around.

Made from 100% Cotton this soft kelly-green t-shirt features a purposely distressed image of the Hulk's incredible cranium along with a denoted graphic leading us to believe that this might actually be....an incredible Hulk comic cover. Not quite sure about that but this t-shirt looks a little...disagreeable so I won't question it. Anyway this Hulk t-shirt is made from a higher 30 Single thread count making it softer than the average t-shirt. Be sure to invite Hulk over for brunch. Be sure to hide your more.....brightly colored items.

Made from 100% cotton this soft light navy blue t-shirt features the freakin' SHIELD symbol! It's like....blending in --all stealthy like-- with the base color of the t-shirt! Is this the result of those new SHIELD counter intelligence nanotech based camouflage systems? Maybe? Possibly just a little? Ahem. Yeah SHIELD: They're a highly effective extremely well armed and outfitted science/military division set in the Marvel Comic Book universe. When there's a super-person throwing fits in an Outback Steakhouse SHIELD gets the call. Usually. Unless Spiderman already happens to be eating at said Outback. SHIELD is actually an acronym that stands for Strategic Helpful Intelligence Excitable Litigious Demonstrative. That's what Dum Dum told me anyway right before he passed out. Oh and this SHIELD tee is made with a higher 30 Single thread count so it's noticeably softer than the average non-SHIELD Communist-Nazi-Hydra t-shirt.

Made from 100% Cotton this light blue t-shirt features a slightly distressed image of Superman standing proudly next to his very own logo! This image of Superman noticeably proud in his standing is colored as if part of him may be...out of phase with another part of him. In fact it's similar to what a 3D illustration looks like before you put on the glasses. Sort of. Anyway this Superman looks like it may be rendered by comic book luminary Jim Lee! Does that entice you any? NO? Well how 'bout if I told you this Superman t-shirt is from exceptional T-Shirt maker Trunk Ltd.? These guys make tees on par with Junk Food. It's super-soft bound with double reinforced stitching and...it's got those classic silver-stitched stripes running along the side of the t-shirt. Oh and it's extremely limited so.....yeah. Goooood stuff.

Made from 100% Cotton this soft charcoal gray t-shirt features a classic brightly colored image of the mighty Thor doing that pre-hammer launching strut. Now I'm not absolutely sure about this but it looks like this might be a Ron Frenz illustration. Don't throw anything at me. Like I said I'm not absolutely sure. Anyway it's classic Thor on a noticeably softer t-shirt made with a higher 30 single thread count. It's closer to a divinely spun thread than the usual mortal crap you're wrapping yourself in.

Made from 100% Cotton this soft white t-shirt features a classic purposely faded image of one of the X-Men's first confrontations with....Magneto! Yes back when he was new and novel Magneto was moderately nifty. Now.....It would be nice if he went away for a while. A long long while. Just ask Cyclops Iceman and the Beast about it. It's a conversation that ends and begins with a collective yawn. Anyway this is a noticeably softer t-shirt made with a higher 30 Single thread count. It's better than what you're currently wearing.

Made from 100% Cotton this soft brownish-black "carbon-colored" sleeveless t-shirt for women features a purposely distressed Batman symbol; larger louder Japanese characters above and a Japanese sentence below accompanied by it's English translation: "Cool English Must Be Learned From A Hero." I guess that makes more sense than something like "Good Fish is Much For Fighting Go!" Yep. Anyway this womens' t-shirt is from high end t-shirt manufacturer Trunk Ltd. so we're talking extremely high quality here. These babies are on par with Junk Food and....possibly surpass them. This exemplary craftsmanship is evident in the super-soft material the double reinforced stitching and those characteristic silver stitched stripes lining both sides of the tee. Oh and they're part of an extremely limited print run. Purchasing now would be regarded as....sound decision making.

The X-Men Brushed Symbol Sublimated T-Shirt is created with a high quality sublimation technique which imprints the image and ink directly into the 65% polyester 35% cotton shirt! Oh and this t-shirt is infinitely softer than those 'normal' t-shirts. You see the X-Men Brushed Symbol Sublimated T-Shirt has the mysterious X Gene which caused it to manifest fantastic powers in their teenage years. This X-Men Brushed Symbol Sublimated T-Shirt then enrolled in Professor X's school in order to tame the extra-ordinary softness. Now we have the fully functional X-Men Brushed Symbol Sublimated T-Shirt which shows off the famous 'X' symbol among splashes of color!

Made from 100% cotton this soft grayish-brownish colored t-shirt features a classic purposely faded image of SHAZAM beating the hell out of a Sentient Rocket Swarm (SRS) with his freakin' chest! Yep. So who launched the SRS? Me. Yep I've had it with that meddling SHAZAM always meddling in my affairs that are NOT MADE TO BE MEDDLED WITH!!!!! So I wired a few monkey brains to a bushel of rockets and.....voila! It's a missile barrage guided by the impulses of monkey memories! Oh that may explain why they're moving AWAY from SHAZAM and towards those......trees over there. CURSE YOUR INCESSANT MEDDLING SHAZAM! Ahem.I should also mention that this t-shirt is from high end t-shirt maker Trunk Ltd. SO we're talking exemplary T-Shirt quality here. This quality is evident in the super-soft material the double reinforced stitching and those characteristic silver-stitched stripes lining both sides of the t-shirt. Oh and they're part of an extremely limited print run. Best get one. Now.

Holy Crap! Made from 100% Cotton we got a multitude of floating Avengers' craniums filling the Avenger's "A" Symbol rendered by comic book master George Perez! Pretty sure this was back from his tenure with the Avengers in the 90's with good ole' Kurt Busiek tellin' the tale and creatin' canon in the Mighty Marvel Manner! Now let's see...we got..... Okay I'm not going to do this. I'm not gonna'. Okay that's Moondragon. Damn it! Anyway if you're a fan of the freakin' Avengers (and if you're not you will be) you should probably add this puppy to your cart. Ask yourself: Would being an Avengers fan protect you from Ultron? Answer: Probably.

Yes the 100% cotton Marvel Civil War by Michael Turner T-Shirt! My history is a bit foggy with Marvel's Civil War. I think it had something to do with registering...to get Wolverine on one's team! Ah now it is coming back to me. Some people mainly Iron Man/ Spider Man/ She Hulk/ and Namor wanted Wolverine not to be in every Marvel Comic book while the Fantastic Four (who longed to have Wolverine on the team) Ant Man and Daredevil felt like Wolverine did belong in every Marvel Comic book. Captain America stood in the middle not agreeing with the idea that Wolverine was in everything but would defend to the death Marvel's right to smother their comics. Was that how it went? Sure why not! See get the Marvel Civil War by Michael Turner T-Shirt and make up your own story!

Made from 100% cotton this soft royal blue t-shirt features a slightly distressed image of Captain America's hastily sketched noggin layered above thick distressed lettering denoting the identity of said noggin! You a fan of Cap? You damn well better be. If you're not you're....a Nazi. Well at least according to Cap. His immediate labeling of purported Nazi-ism could be the result of a decades long sleep within freezing environs. Could be. Wonder what else is misfiring in the mind of America's favorite son? Perhaps....calling kittens the "Pupa of Hydra" is another sign of something....peculiar. Anyway this Captain America t-shirt is made with a higher 30 single thread count making it softer than the average t-shirt.

Made from 100% Cotton this navy blue t-shirt features an image of the Incredible Hulk just...absolutely kicking the $#!% out of the Avengers. Well four Avengers anyway. Where the hell are the rest of 'em? They ran. As soon as the Hulk bit off Iron Man's head....they ran. So it's Thor Giant Man Wasp and Captain America trying to stop the Hulk from kicking babies into the sun and throwing homeless people at stop signs. It's just...it's a little immoral I think. Anyway it's like... the classic Avengers in action. Maybe we could call it "The Hulk's Last Day as an Official Avenger T-Shirt." Yeah maybe.