Merriest Christmas T Shirts
The holiday season's always a headache, isn't it? Everywhere you go, everywhere you look, WAPOW! SHA-BAM! you're punched in the face with advertisements!
When you're constantly being bombarded with LOW LOW PRICES BUY NOW WHAT ARE YOU CRAZY or something, it's hard not to start acting like that one green guy.
Good thing we're here to light your way back to holiday cheer with our glowing noses for t-shirts. Sit down, nog up, have some laughs. And try not to think too hard about the glowing nose thing. Not even medical experts have an answer for that one.
1. It's The Most Wonderful Time For A Beer
Could a truer statement be made that no holiday is more likely to drive you to drink than Christmas? Have a cold one for us.
Santa knows what's up. "Yeah, yeah, kids, presents, d'you know how bombed I've gotta be to make this run? Ohoho, and guess how Blitzen got his name!"
4. Santa Claus Christmas Costume
The holiday equivalent of the tuxedo shirt allows you to be ironically 'merry.'
6. Bye Buddy
If Elf reminded us of anything, it's what the true meaning of Christmas really is. Something to do with narwhals.
7. Tuxedo T-Shirt Jesus
Don't worry, guys. Jesus is only here ironically. And he was into Neutral Milk Hotel before you were.
11. Skeletor and Relay Christmas
"And if one more person comes up to me on the street and goes, 'Myahh!," I swear I will..."
12. You'll Shoot Yer Eye Out Kid
If there was a unifying message in A Christmas Story, I think we can all agree that it's that more children should be given guns.
16. Jesus Christmas
Hey, even if the bible did say he was born in summer, who else are we gonna give two birthdays to?
18. Grumpy Cat Terrible Christmas
The rest of the lyrics are just a series of unintelligible grumbling. Grumpy Cat would want it that way.
20. Leg Lamp
Confuse the hell out of everybody who hasn't seen A Christmas Story this holiday season! Start a new holiday tradition.
A Festivus! For the rest of us. This basically entails enjoying Seinfeld references - which will still be relevant post-nuclear-fallout, you realize - and probably not being all about that holly jolly schmuckery. We like this holly jolly schmuckery instead.
23. 8 Pound 6 Ounce Baby Jesus Funny Christmas
Don't ask how they know his exact weight. Just don't.
25. Stupid Holiday A Charlie Brown Christmas
Don't worry, Charlie Brown. We'd be down around the holidays if we were undergoing chemotherapy at your age, too.
27. Stirring Mice
Twas the night before Christmas,
and the party was rad,
the mice were all stirring,
even their dad.
28. Dear Santa
We've all got excuses. Just tape a photo of you being good over all his cameras. It's easy!
29. Smurfs Have a Smurfy Christmas
If you're having a Christmas this blue, we hope you're a Smurf. If not, consult a doctor three hours ago.
34. Hey Santa I Need A Job Funny Christmas
Pretty sure this is a good place to start an Occupy Christmas movement.
35. My Package Is The Biggest
Some people might prefer to receive packages not filled with Styrofoam peanuts!
36. Nippley Out
The best response to the inevitable creepy comments this t-shirt invites is a soul-scraping scowl! What would the holidays be without those?
37. Dont Stop Believin
This Santa tee's worth the Journey, if you ask us. (Har har har! We mean, hohoho!)
38. Santa is Coming!
Think of this t-shirt this way - at least you'll have something else to talk about at your next therapy session! By the way, that song really talks about keeping quiet - you might want to invest in a bat.
40. Twerk'n around the Christmas tree
Booty clapping is still technically a form of applause, and thus, just another way of expressing that you are, in fact, having a good time.
42. Better Be Nice...The Krampus is Coming!!
Y'know, people might start to rethink the whole 'naughty' thing if we brought back the Krampus. A little childhood trauma does a person good.
43. A Very Dalek Christmas - Dark
Nobody remind them about the Time Lord. Let them stay focused on festivity.
44. Yukon Cornelius North Pole Expeditions
Maybe direct Rudolph and those Island of Misfit Toys toys to this guy.
45. Donner of the Dead
You knew it was only a matter of time 'til he got sick of not even getting to be second fiddle to Rudolph.
46. Robo Santa
Annual Gift Man may be unwieldy, and the casualties whenever he appears may be high, but he only means well! You didn't need all those relatives, anyway.
47. Santa Panda
If you ran into this guy in your house on Christmas Eve, what would you do? You'd stock lots of bamboo, that's what. And not ask questions.
50. Clark Rant
Just think of all the festive machinations you can plot while somebody reads this lengthy National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation speech on your shirt! Maybe some sort of mistletoe caper?
52. Have yourself a very Derpy christmas
Like the ones we used to know thanks to an animation error that caught on with the fans.
53. It's Christmas - D*ck In A Box
I call this method of gift-purveying the 'Human Forklift' move!