Merriest Christmas T Shirts
The holiday season's always a headache, isn't it? Everywhere you go, everywhere you look, WAPOW! SHA-BAM! you're punched in the face with advertisements!
When you're constantly being bombarded with LOW LOW PRICES BUY NOW WHAT ARE YOU CRAZY or something, it's hard not to start acting like that one green guy.
Good thing we're here to light your way back to holiday cheer with our glowing noses for t-shirts. Sit down, nog up, have some laughs. And try not to think too hard about the glowing nose thing. Not even medical experts have an answer for that one.
1. Santa Claus Christmas Costume
The holiday equivalent of the tuxedo shirt allows you to be ironically 'merry.'
2. Tuxedo T-Shirt Jesus
Don't worry, guys. Jesus is only here ironically. And he was into Neutral Milk Hotel before you were.
4. Stupid Holiday A Charlie Brown Christmas
Don't worry, Charlie Brown. We'd be down around the holidays if we were undergoing chemotherapy at your age, too.
A Festivus! For the rest of us. This basically entails enjoying Seinfeld references - which will still be relevant post-nuclear-fallout, you realize - and probably not being all about that holly jolly schmuckery. We like this holly jolly schmuckery instead.
7. Stirring Mice
Twas the night before Christmas,
and the party was rad,
the mice were all stirring,
even their dad.
8. Jesus Christmas
Hey, even if the bible did say he was born in summer, who else are we gonna give two birthdays to?
12. I've Gotta Big Package for You Christmas
Literal, not figurative! What kind of jokers do you take us for?
13. Dear Santa
We've all got excuses. Just tape a photo of you being good over all his cameras. It's easy!
15. You'll Shoot Yer Eye Out Kid
If there was a unifying message in A Christmas Story, I think we can all agree that it's that more children should be given guns.
16. Smurfs Have a Smurfy Christmas
If you're having a Christmas this blue, we hope you're a Smurf. If not, consult a doctor three hours ago.
17. Bye Buddy
If Elf reminded us of anything, it's what the true meaning of Christmas really is. Something to do with narwhals.
23. Hey Santa I Need A Job Funny Christmas
Pretty sure this is a good place to start an Occupy Christmas movement.
24. My Package Is The Biggest
Some people might prefer to receive packages not filled with Styrofoam peanuts!
25. Nippley Out
The best response to the inevitable creepy comments this t-shirt invites is a soul-scraping scowl! What would the holidays be without those?
26. Dunder Mifflin Christmas Party
It's no secret on The Office that it's not much of an office Christmas party if it doesn't result in at least a couple of counseling sessions. Once Dwight's gone full elf, there's no going back.
27. Dear Santa...
Remember to start crying uncontrollably when begging for gifts. Santa hasn't had the experience of going dead inside from parenthood.
32. Have yourself a very Derpy christmas
Like the ones we used to know thanks to an animation error that caught on with the fans.
33. It's the Most Wonderful Time (Beer Edition)
Could a truer statement be made that no holiday is more likely to drive you to drink than Christmas? Have a cold one for us.
Santa knows what's up. "Yeah, yeah, kids, presents, d'you know how bombed I've gotta be to make this run? Ohoho, and guess how Blitzen got his name!"
34. Better Be Nice...The Krampus is Coming!!
Y'know, people might start to rethink the whole 'naughty' thing if we brought back the Krampus. A little childhood trauma does a person good.
35. Robo Santa
Annual Gift Man may be unwieldy, and the casualties whenever he appears may be high, but he only means well! You didn't need all those relatives, anyway.
36. It's Christmas - D*ck In A Box
I call this method of gift-purveying the 'Human Forklift' move!
37. Christmas Lightsabers
38. Dont Stop Believin
This Santa tee's worth the Journey, if you ask us. (Har har har! We mean, hohoho!)
39. Hate Christmas Grinch
You know what's really annoying? Other people's happiness. You know what I'm talking about.