They say always, but have you seen what happens when bacon goes flat?

It's true - even for abstract concepts! Now you too can imagine metaphors made entirely out of bacon!

The really awkward part is when the toast starts going off about his dad giving him a carton of cigarettes for Christmas.

You wouldn't want to be wrong, would you?

Did you know you can invent your own food groups? Bacon even has its own pyramid.

This poor pig doesn't know what he's getting himself into.

Now that it's been verbed, have at it!

From the very beginning, bacon touched us all. Mostly in the heart.

Before everything else, there was bacon. After everything else is gone, there will still be bacon.

Knowing what lies ahead, you do have to admire their positive attitude.

Two words: Pig therapy.

Go on. Imagine Daniel Day-Lewis with a bacon mustache. We're all there with you.

Technically speaking, it's always a bacon emergency.

Now that's an enlarged heart!

On the verge of hyperventilating? You need to breathe into a bag made entirely of bacon.

And then I'd consume it and I'd probably take a nap for a few hours!

If only thinking alone was enough to constitute bacon into physical being.

If possible, try to make that bacon on the beach.

If only there was some way to combine these things without rampant grease burns.

There might eventually be hospitalization in there if you don't break things up a bit. Know what's a great motivator on the treadmill? Bacon.

O beautiful for scrumptious skies! For amber waves of syrup!

Let's try not to imagine what the pig's going through here. These are some complicated emotions on display.